


please remind me (who i really am)

by Melui



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A few other characters will pop up briefly, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, I'm making it gay, Movie rewrite, Notting Hill fic, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-03-06 13:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 78,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18851731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melui/pseuds/Melui
Summary: Lena Luthor, beautiful Oscar-winning actress, walks into Kara Danvers' bookstore. Kara’s clumsy hands think Lena would look better wearing her hot coffee instead of a dress.AKA a SuperCorp version of Notting Hill; I love the film, and it needed to be gay, so here we are!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. I haven't really written fanfic for over a decade, and I'm dipping my toes back in. I don't have a beta-reader, so all mistakes, typos, or other general inaccuracies are mine alone. I'm British so there may be a few Britishisms that I've not noticed, so, sorry! 
> 
> Please come and find me! [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/melui-the-ravenclaw) and a new [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Melui_Ravenclaw) I made! I'd love to say hello! :)

Kara Danvers sat at the counter of the bookstore she worked at and watched her lone customer circulate. The frizzy-haired woman had been here for an hour, picking up books at random, carrying them around, and then depositing them on the wrong shelves. Already on the hunt for her next victim, the irritating woman turned a corner out of Kara’s sight. Her colleague Winn Schott sent Kara an exasperated look and followed her into the rest of the shop. At this point, they would both dearly love to throw the customer out on her ass, but a possible sale is a possible sale. Instead, Kara resigned herself to going through the stock on the computer to find which books had been good sellers and which hadn’t shifted a copy in longer than a few months, a task she reserved for Monday mornings, since they were already bad enough what with the sudden lack of sleep.

Kara had been working at the Candlelight Bookstore for eleven years, ever since she had moved to New York on a whim and never left. Lured to the Big Apple by the promise of anonymity and freedom, she had stumbled into a bar her first night at the age of 16 with a false ID and flirted with the bartender until they’d poured her a quadruple Maker’s Mark. It hadn’t occurred to her until after she’d drunk it that she should’ve eaten something first. Rookie error. The liquor had hit her fast and hard, and it was only the kindness of a stranger that saved her from ending up in an unknown person’s bed, or worse. Grasping her by the arm, the stranger, a young woman, had led her outside, held her hair while she threw up most of the bourbon into a handy bush, and walked her to the nearest 7/11 to buy a sandwich. At that point, Kara hadn’t remembered the address of the hostel she was staying at, so Alex had taken her home, made up a bed on her own sofa, and plopped her onto it with a bucket by her head and a pint glass of water on the nearby table.

When Kara woke up the following morning, she hadn’t had the faintest idea where she was. Alex had waltzed in wearing a fitted black tshirt and a pair of black cargo pants, with another glass of water and some painkillers for Kara’s throbbing head, and they had become instant friends. Alexandra “Alex” Danvers was busy, always rushing around, and a terrible influence on Kara’s waistline, but she was also kind, loyal, and had a heart of gold. Kara had moved out of the hostel and into Alex’s flat in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, within a week, and started working at the Candlelight Bookstore a few weeks after that.

Candlelight Bookstore was owned by Alex’s mother, Eliza. She herself had inherited many small businesses from her parents, mostly small diners which she had strung together into a chain. There were now eight of them across New York, and one in Rochester, where Eliza had been born. Eliza’s Diners were very successful and the income from them allowed the bookshop free reign to sell whatever it wanted. It had been run by Alex’s grandparents until they both passed away of old age. It was a little bolthole across the street from her flat, which Alex had also inherited. Alex’s grandmother had been rather a free-spirited hippy and hadn’t spent much time around her, but the affection had been there when it was needed, and that was enough. Eliza had eventually taken Kara under her wing as well, and they had made the adoption legal just before Kara turned 18, giving Kara a beloved new family.

Kara had started working at the bookstore a month after meeting Alex; she had immediately fallen in love with the place. The bookstore was an open space, full of old leather armchairs of various colors, and tall bookshelves that Eliza’s husband Jeremiah had made himself out of walnut. The previous owners of the building had knocked out most of the floor between the first and second floors, but left the full window there, which threw a lot of natural light into the store. Thankfully, the buildings opposite blocked any direct sunlight into the store and thus saved the spines of the books from premature fading, and the result was a relaxing, light, and airy space that looked both clean and yet lived-in. None of the bookshelves were filled entirely with books, the rest of the space being taken up by cheerful succulent plants, adding color without making any mess.

Candlelight Bookstore had sold many different types of books in its day, but at the moment, it specialized in gay and lesbian literature, both fiction and non-fiction. That had been a decision made by Kara several years ago; she had noticed that while general fiction sold very well, the clientele in the area requested gay or lesbian books far more often than any other type, and the decision was made to restock. While the business ticked over nicely, it wasn’t exactly the busiest of shops. However, in a changing world, Kara was very proud of the help the shop had given people; a safe space for gay people and their allies to browse books or learn something new. Kara only wished she had had access to such a place when she had been younger.

Taking a sip of her now cold hot chocolate, Kara opened up the pages of several lesbian authors that she had been following for a long time to look at what they were working on currently. A few romance novels here, a few crime novels there, and some fanfictions she had been keeping an eye on were due to be published in paper format in just a few months, which was very exciting, including one by an author that Kara knew a little bit, at least via Twitter. As she opened the ordering software, the bell over the front door that Kara hadn’t had the heart to get rid of dinged as a new customer entered the store.

“Good morning, and welcome to Candlelight Bookstore,” Kara stated, glancing up just in time for the customer’s large-brimmed hat to obscure the view of their face as they looked towards the shelf to their left. Kara rolled her eyes. It wasn’t that sunny outside. “If you need any help, please just ask me,” she tacked on, hoping to see their face. No such luck. The customer was a woman, that much she could see, and one dressed very finely at that, even to Kara’s untrained eye. Kara gave the woman a once-over. Pale skin, glossy dark hair falling gently just under her shoulder blades, toned arms bearing one black bangle, and calf muscles that gently stood out, thanks to the strain of the enormously high heels she was wearing. Beyond being able to see that the woman filled her sleeveless dress in a _very_ nice way, she wasn’t able to tell much more. Kara’s interest was piqued in a distinctly non-literary manner and, standing up and moving around the counter, she made her way towards the customer, and grabbed a promotional leaflet on her way over.

Quietly clearing her throat, Kara stopped next to the customer. “Is there anything in particular I can help you look for?” she asked, and _finally_ , the customer turned towards her. Immediately Kara’s mouth dried up as the softest green eyes looked intensely into her own at the interruption. The woman was _gorgeous_ ; those seafoam eyes were framed by high cheekbones and a strong jawline, and immaculately plucked eyebrows. Lightly applied makeup accentuated her already dark eyelashes, and her lips… Kara felt anything else she was going to say choke up and die in her throat. Those plump lips wore a dark red lipstick. The only thing that marred her otherwise perfect face was a small but distinct scar underneath her right eyebrow that Kara felt a sudden desire to run her finger along. There was something familiar about her face, but in a moment of stupefied idiocy, Kara couldn’t place her. She felt a blush rise up on her face and she thanked Bare Minerals that it wouldn’t show up.

The brunette smiled slightly under Kara’s scrutiny, as though she were waiting for her to say something else. When nothing else was forthcoming, a look of slight relief passed over her face. “No, thank you. I’m just browsing.” Her voice was like dark chocolate and sex, and Kara immediately felt the blood in her face rush to a different part of her body. She was about to speak when the customer spoke again. “What kind of books do you sell here? The name of the shop is… decidedly ambiguous.”

Relieved that this was a question she could at least answer without thinking too much about, Kara smiled. “We cater mostly to the LGBT community. Fiction, non-fiction, self-help, travel guides, history, academic gender studies, that sort of thing. We try to be as wide-ranging as possible; we know we’re a niche place, but it’s a definitely a friendly place to be.” The brunette’s smile widened as she connected with Kara’s gaze and held the eye contact; in response, Kara felt her voice quaver, but she plowed on regardless. “I wanted this to be a place where people could learn about themselves and others with no judgement or feeling like they’re standing at the adult section of a major bookstore, which is where you mostly have to look for books like these.”

“Why is it called Candlelight?” the customer asked, removing her hat at last and smoothing out her hair.

“To be honest, I don’t know,” Kara started. “My adopted sister’s grandparents owned this place, her father built all the shelves, and named it before he passed away a long time ago. I don’t think Alex had ever asked him why.”

“Alex?”

“My sister, and housemate. Her name is Alexandra, but nobody calls her that. Her mother owns the shop now and she didn’t want to change it.”

“It’s interesting that her grandparents picked this… theme for the store,” the customer replied, her eyes still fixed very much on Kara’s, but she looked pensive. “I would’ve expected that their age would preclude them from stocking books like this.”

“It was me who picked the theme, actually. I had always wanted a place like this when I was growing up and so I decided to make this place to help out others who might need it. Everyone needs a place to feel welcome, right?” At this, the brunette’s smiled widely, making Kara break into a grin in response.

The frizzy-haired customer chose this moment to walk out of the store, putting a book on the shelf to Kara’s side. Winn hurried behind her and with an apologetic look at Kara, and then a double-take at the brunette customer, grabbed the book and scurried off back behind the bookshelves. Kara could almost feel Winn’s eyes boring into her back.

“That’s very good of you. I’m afraid I have to leave,” she said, glancing at what Kara had thought was a bangle but was in fact a watch, “but if I’m ever in the market, I know where to come looking.” The brunette smiled once again, then turned gracefully, opened the door, and walked back out onto the street.

Kara stood still for a second, absorbing the last words the mysterious customer had said. That could have been misconstrued as flirting, but surely not. _Surely not_ , Kara thought stiffly to herself as she sat back down at her desk. She must have just meant the books. _A goddess like that would never look twice at a girl like me!_ It was only when as she was tapping her fingers slightly harder than necessary on the keyboard, not really seeing what she was doing, that she nearly ordered 408 copies of _Curious Wine_ , and decided she needed to go out for a coffee and shake it off, whatever it was.  

“Winn? Do you want anything from Joe’s?” she called out.

“No thank you,” he replied politely, walking out of the stacks with books piled in his arms. “I’m going to put these in the library pile.”

“Okay. Could you man the shop for a while? I’m going to take my lunch.”

Winn looked like he was going to ask something else, but then put the books down and waved his hand. Kara left.

Ten minutes later, wandering down the street after picking up her extra-hot coffee and a large pizza from the Italian restaurant who knew her order before she opened her mouth, Kara was lost in thought. There was something about the customer’s face that was so familiar, but Kara still couldn’t place it. Maybe she was a regular at the bar she and Alex frequented? No, that couldn’t be it, she was far too elegant for that dive. A lady like that belonged somewhere exclusive. But still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she knew her face from somewhere, or at least that she knew someone who looked very much like her. Kara was sure though, she thought with a smirk, that if she had known someone who looked as beautiful as that customer did, she wouldn’t forget their face in a hurry.

As she made her way towards the corner of her street, she spotted one of those gossip rags hanging up in the newsagent stall. A quick glance at the headline which read, “Lena Luthor spotted at Yankees with friends” with a close-up of the actress’ face, laughing, and Kara finally got it.

No _shit_. The customer in the store had been Lena Luthor, the scientist whose lab had been on the point of curing cancer a few years back before something happened with her brother... Scientist turned Oscar-winning actress once that had all blown up. Holy shit. Nobody was going to believe this! Except maybe Winn? He had done a double-take. Kara felt the grin nearly split her face in two as she started walking briskly back to the store, pulling out her phone with her spare hand, not looking where she was going.

All of a sudden, she felt her hot coffee tip out of her control as she collided heavily with someone else on the sidewalk. Her phone clattered to the floor, but her momentary worry that her screen would smash was nothing to the near-shriek that erupted from the person she had crashed into. With a rising sense of horror, Kara realized that out of the two of them, she was not the one wearing her boiling hot coffee.

“This is _Givenchy_!!” spluttered the voice. Without either looking or thinking, Kara grabbed some tissues out of her back pocket, stood up and started to dab at the first brown stain her eyes came across.

“I am so sorry, golly I’m so-” she started, and then the owner of the ruined dress batted her hands away.

“ _Do you mind?!_ ” the woman snapped, and Kara’s eyes rose to meet the furious green eyes she had only recently figured out belonged to Lena Luthor. Scientific genius. Oscar-winning actress. Goddess. And Kara was dabbing away at her chest with some old tissues. She snatched her hands away at once, and nearly quailed under Lena’s angry gaze.

“I’m so sorry! If you’ll just come with me, I live just t-”

“You can’t seriously think I’m going anywhere with you. I have no idea who you are.”

“Woah, Le- er, Miss Luthor,” Kara started, holding up her hands. “I live just across the street in that building with the red door. I’ve got something you can change into. Let’s try and get this cleaned up? And not argue in the street?”

Lena looked across the street, seemed to make up her mind in a split-second, and marched quickly across the street towards the door Kara had indicated, leaving Kara to chase after her. Ignoring the blare of a yellow taxi she had run out in front of, she reached the door just before Lena did. Green eyes turned to look at her in, a flash of apprehension in them, and Kara understood.

“Don’t worry. You’re perfectly safe with me,” she said quietly, “despite the dress. I’m so sorry.” As Kara shoved the key into the lock and opening the door, Lena pushed herself inside and off the street, unfortunately not noticing the bicycle that Alex had left in the entrance hall, and stumbled over it. Kara managed to catch her around the waist, and then immediately let go. Lena turned to look at her, and her expression was entirely impassive. Kara swallowed.

“I… um. Here, let me just… close the door.” Kara pushed it to, and briefly rested her forehead against it.

_Shit. Lena Luthor is in my house._


	2. Chapter 2

Kara’s day had been going fine until a few minutes ago. As Lena tripped over a bicycle that had been left in the very narrow hallway, the only thing that crossed her mind was that she hoped she wouldn’t get bike grease on the dress. Coffee could be got rid of by a good dry-cleaner, but bike grease? Oil? She might as well consign the dress to the trash and have done with it, and spend her next fifteen paychecks buying a replacement.

However, her mind had quickly went blank when she had grabbed Lena around the waist to stop her from falling over. Kara was strong, so Lena didn’t fall far at all, but far enough for Kara to need to spread her hands across Lena’s abdomen. It was firm under her fingers, but ultimately soft. She quickly let go and watched Lena school her face into another neutral expression as she turned around to look at her. An expression that now said nothing. Kara smiled sheepishly and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

Lena looked questioningly at her. The moment stretched until Kara suddenly realized that they were still standing in the hallway, that Lena was in the house of a complete stranger, wearing coffee which was soaking into her dress more deeply every passing second. Irritation finally washed across Lena’s face, and she looked deeply unimpressed with the fact that essentially, they were still just standing in an entrance hall rather than doing anything about this ridiculous situation.

“Let’s get you out of that dress?” Kara said, and then immediately winced.

Lena rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, huffing it out quickly. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, so that I can get it to the dry cleaners, not- I didn’t mean it the way it sounded!”

“I’m sure. Now look here, Miss…”

“Danvers, Kara Danvers. But please, call m-”

“Miss Danvers,” Lena said, waving her hand and immediately making Kara gabble to a stop. “Miss Danvers, I have coffee soaking into an expensive Givenchy dress. It’s quite frankly getting very cold and damp against my skin, and I would like to see if this could be rectified before we both die of old age or you bury me in the walls.”

Kara’s face fell. “I’m not going to murder you, I promise you’re safe with me. I mean, aside from coffee. Follow me.”

Kara squeezed past her, narrowly missing stepping on Lena’s left foot, and walked up a dimly-lit flight of stairs before motioning for her to follow, and stomped up the stairs. Of all the fantasies that she could have ever entertained about Lena Luthor, or indeed any other unattainable celebrity, this was at the bottom of the pile. She yanked open a drawer, searching for some clothes for Lena to wear. She wasn’t exactly a haute couture kind of girl, and almost none of her clothes had seen an iron since they left the factory. There was precious little that she thought the rich, famous actress downstairs would approve of, so she pulled out a favorite pair of soft jeans that had been worn into comfortable perfection, a Muppets tshirt, and the only real leather brown jacket she owned.

Mercifully, Alex was out. Kara thumped back down the stairs as loudly as she could to announce her presence, and found Lena standing in the middle of the living area, typing something on her cell. It was the space she loved the most in the house. The dim stairwell from the entrance hall belied the fact that it was in fact a rather roomy space. It entered into a very bright living area. The room had exposed brickwork, with old white patches of plaster every here and there, on which photo frames had been hung. The room was, unusually, for its location, a kitchen with an island in the middle of it. It was clean, but lived in, with dirty plates stacked in the sink and an old cup of… something, on the counter-top, that Kara belatedly realized was three days old. There was a second door at the end of the room, which led to the more relaxed room with a very large sofa could be seen, covered in blankets, and a huge TV where she and Alex chilled out after long days.

“I figured you’d want something to change into,” she said, holding them out. Lena put her hat and bag down on the kitchen island before she took them. “They’re the nicest clothes I could find, and you look like you’re smaller than I am, so they’ll be a bit big but… at least they’re not covered in coffee. Um, I don’t think they are, anyway.”

The corners of Lena’s mouth turned up slightly at that, and Kara relaxed. “You can change in my bathroom which is up the first set of stairs in the first door on the right, or, you can use my bedroom which is the door opposite the bathroom. Don’t go up the second set of stairs, because I can’t be held responsible for whatever kind of mess Alex has left on her landing…”

Quirking her eyebrow in the slightest way possible, Lena swept off towards the staircase and headed up them in a much more elegant fashion than Kara has. Too late, Kara remembered that she hadn’t made her bed this morning, and groaned before flitting around the living areas trying to tidy up as quickly as possible. Some old pajamas and socks were on the floor by the sofa, which Kara quickly threw into a cupboard. Thankfully, she was fastidious about cleaning, if not keeping things tidy, so once things had been put away quickly, there was nothing else much to do be done to make the place look more presentable. One of Lena’s latest films, the _Artistry_ , was sitting on top of the TV table. Kara hastily hid it in the same cupboard as the socks.

Sitting down on the sofa to wait, Kara twiddled her fingers. She heard the toilet flush and the tap running and supposed that Lena hadn’t gone in her bedroom after all. What exactly was she going to say if Alex came home early? Don’t go upstairs because there’s a famous actress wandering around, possibly naked? Groaning, she pulled her cell out of her pocket and sent a quick text to Winn asking him to look after the shop for the rest of the day because something had come up. Winn replied instantly to say that was fine, and then she heard footsteps on the stairs. Kara bolted off the sofa as if it had been struck by lightning and headed through the doorway.

If Lena had been gorgeous in the dress she’d had on earlier, it was nothing to how amazing she looked now. True, the clothes were a little too big for her, but it just made her look more relaxed and approachable. She’d taken off her towering heels and had the leather jacket slung over one arm, and in the other she held her dress. She’d wiped off the majority of her makeup. Kara’s mouth went dry at the sight of her; how could someone go from looking like they could grace the cover of Vogue to being even more beautiful dressed-down?  It shouldn’t be allowed. 

Lena reached the bottom of the stairs, and without her heels on, she looked even more petite.

“Did you find everything okay?” she asked, taking the dress from Lena.

“Yes, thank you. We should probably get the dress to the dry-cleaners as quickly as possible, so that it can hopefully be saved.”

“Absolutely. Look, I’ll just take it there now. I know the guy who runs the place, I spill stuff on my clothes all the time and Alex does all her laundry there. They usually take a day or two but they’re really great, and they’ll take really good care of your dress, so I’ll… just… I’ll just take it now.” She pointed towards the sofa. “I won’t be long. Take whatever you want to eat or drink, the sofa’s in there, and I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Without a further word, Lena turned and headed off towards the sofa. Kara gawped after her, the surreal nature of this situation catching up to her once again, and then headed out.

It only took her five minutes to reach the dry-cleaners, and once she’d explained to Tony that it was a very expensive dress and that the coffee absolutely _had_ to come out, and promising a huge tip if he could get it done, she rushed over to the 7/11 again to pick up some snacks (what on earth does someone buy a megastar anyway?) and headed back home with no small feeling of trepidation running through her.

Lena was sitting on the sofa with her legs curled up beside her, and was typing again on her cell.

“Hey,” Kara said, and Lena looked up. “They’re going to do your dress as a priority, but even then it’s probably going to take a day or so before it’ll be ready.” She hoped her face looked as apologetic as she felt.

“Thank you. I hope it won’t take as long as that, but needs must, I suppose,” Lena replied, before looking back at her phone. Even though Lena wasn’t looking at her, Kara could tell that she was infinitely more relaxed than she had been before, and was mostly just relieved to be out of the dress. “I’m just informing my team where we are, who you are, etc. Could I please have your contact details in case of anything?”

“Oh um, sure,” Kara said, and wrote out her address, email address, phone number, and her cell number on a piece of paper and handed it to Lena. Their fingers brushed as she passed it over, and Kara swallowed. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“No, I think that should be alright.” Lena tapped out all the information into an email on her cell, and sent it away, before putting the piece of paper in her pocket and looking up at Kara, who was shifting her weight from foot to foot. “You did just leave me in your house all by myself,” she said with a slight smirk. “And you’re worried about sitting next to me on the sofa?”

Kara started at the question and grinned self-consciously. “There’s nothing in this place that’ll be more valuable than the dress you just put me in charge of. But I guess I just assumed that you would be leaving now that we’re sorted out the dress, um, for now?”

Lena opened her phone onto Twitter, and showed Kara that she was the top trend. “It seems that people know I’m in the area. I’d usually prefer to be rather discreet, but-”

“Sorry, but how in the world was that dress discreet? There’s no way you weren’t recognized, looking like that!” Kara stated, and then felt her face flush.

“Looking like what, Miss Danvers?” Lena asked.

Kara felt her face get even darker, and thanked her makeup again that it wouldn’t be visible. “I just meant that you don’t exactly blend in with the crowd.”

“I see,” Lena said, looking down at her hands. “Well, if it’s alright with you of course, I’d like to stay here for a little while, just until the Twitter hubbub dies down. I don’t really fancy being mobbed today; it’s already been rather stressful.”

“Why? Oh, sorry,” Kara said quickly, when Lena gave her a narrow-eyed look. “That was really nosy of me. How your day was before it got so much worse after meeting me is none of my business. Shutting up now.” She mimed locking up her lips and throwing away the key and immediately felt more embarrassed than the time she fell over in the school cafeteria and spilled her food everywhere to the sound of cheers. _Smooth. So smooth._

“It’s not so much that my day was very stressful before we met, but that dress was a gift from my late father, and now I am rather worried about it.” She held up her hand when Kara opened her mouth to speak. “There’s nothing to be done for it now. There is no protecting everything in this world. There is no point having a dress if you never wear it. You may as well not have it at all. I just wish it hadn’t happened, that’s all.” Lena swung her feet down onto the ground, rubbed her thighs, and gave Kara a pointed look. “What I would like, however, is some information about the person I am currently sitting with. We are total strangers, and this is a very unusual circumstance. You appear rather harmless, if clumsy, but all the same, I’d prefer it if we didn’t just sit in silence. I’ll start to wonder when I’m to be murdered or blackmailed into something nefarious.”

At that, Kara did laugh. Lena smiled, and Kara felt her breath catch. “I promise I’m not going to murder you. I’m really okay. Just an average nonentity that you’ll only remember when you look at that dress. I’m 27 years old, from Boston originally but moved around a lot after my whole family died in a car crash when I was thirteen.” At that, Lena started and looked as if she was going to say something, but Kara waved her off, and Lena sat back again. “I’m sure you’ve realized I’m gay after seeing the bookstore. I moved to New York when I was 16 and I’ve worked at the bookstore the whole time. I was adopted by Alex’s mother Eliza. I’ve never been to Europe, but I’d really like to go. My favorite author is Terry Pratchett, my favorite band is *NSYNC, and I really think that board and video games aren’t only for children.”

During her little speech, Lena’s smile had spread wider and wider across her face, until she was beaming. Kara was mesmerized by it. “I don’t think you’re really going to murder me, you know,” Lena said, before taking a sip from a glass of water that she must have poured earlier. “I’ve been close to far more frightening people than you. But I’m sure you can appreciate that as I work… in the public eye, the public do tend to want more of me than I’m willing to give. In fact, they seem to feel entitled to it. I’m a human being, first and foremost. I’d like to thank you for your discretion thus far. And, I’m sorry for my performance in the street.”

“Oh hey, that’s alright! I had just spilled my hot coffee all over you and then practically felt you up,” Kara said. Lena’s face blushed a pretty pink. It looked good with her skin tone. “I’m really sorry about that, by the way. I was really on autopilot trying to get the coffee off you.”

An understanding look passed over Lena’s face. “Please don’t worry about it. I suspect I would’ve done the same had the positions been reversed. And you didn’t feel me up. If it hadn’t been that particular dress, I would’ve probably found it rather amusing.” She gave Kara a penetrating look. “What color, exactly, are your eyes? I can’t quite work it out. I can’t decide if they’re blue, or if they’re blue with hazel in the light.”

“I think they’re just plain dark blue…ish, sometimes lighter,” Kara replied, smiling.

“They’d show up really well in a camera.”

“Thank you! Um. Would you like something to eat? I can order pizza.”

“Miss Danvers. Do you think there’s something you could make that might have some salad in it? I don’t think pizza would be the healthiest of things. I start filming in a few weeks and my personal trainer will kill me.”

“Miss Luthor. You’re sitting on a sofa in Brooklyn, in jeans and a Muppets tshirt. Nobody but me will know you ate a greasy pizza and besides, you don’t want me to cook for you. I’m a disaster in the kitchen and then your agent really would be after me for murder. What kind of pizza do you want?” She stood up, and moved towards the fridge where the takeout menu was stuck there with an ugly magnet from Las Vegas.

Lena looked hesitant, and then sighed. “Anything with a lot of meat on it.” Kara laughed at her resigned tone of voice, and Lena smiled up at her. “Thank you.”

The pizzas were ordered, and they both sat back down on the sofa. Kara clicked on the TV for some background noise and tried to shove her nerves somewhere deep down inside of her. The fact was, no matter how Lena tried to make it normal, for Kara, this was extraordinary. An Oscar-winning film star was sitting on her sofa, wearing her clothes, and waiting for pizza to arrive. The fact that said film star was absolutely beautiful did not help Kara’s nerves at all. She’d given over control of the remote to Lena, who’d chosen to put Bones on. Kara liked the show, and liked the Angela character even better, but she was surprised that Lena would choose it. After a while, she asked her why she liked it.

Lena looked amused at her question. “Why wouldn’t I like it? It’s funny, it’s clever, and it’s full of beautiful people. The core cast remained in place for most of the show, and it dealt with some very genuine things. It also caused characters to think about morality, which I always find interesting. I also like the Walking Dead, by the way, but it’s far too early in the day for that to be on tv.”

“No way! Are you one of those people who likes to ask questions about what you would store in your bunker if the apocalypse was coming?”

Lena leaned in conspiratorially. “Only with the people I trust the most.” And then she winked. Actually winked. Kara felt something long-dormant flutter in her stomach.

“I can put the DVDs on, if you want?”

The wide smile Lena gave her was answer enough. Kara put the first disc of the first series in, and collected the pizza from the door when it arrived.

And, really, this was rapidly turning out to be one of the most surreal days of Kara’s life. Never in a million years would she have thought that she would be sitting on her sofa with Lena _freaking_ Luthor wearing her clothes, eating pizza and watching the Walking Dead.

Although Lena _freaking_ Luthor continually checked her phone for updates from her team and kept an eye on Twitter, she was still engaged in easy conversation with Kara. Once the initial awkwardness had worn off, they had got down to chatting a little about the bookshop, and funny stories about Lena’s trips to London and getting lost on the Underground, almost as if they were friends. She was still a little guarded, but was otherwise warm, friendly, and pleasant, and she had a mega-watt smile that frequently crossed her face. Kara had heard that Lena was cool, stand-offish, and careful, but that didn’t seem to gel with what Kara saw. She was sat far back on Kara’s sofa, so far back that her feet no longer touched the floor; she just looked extremely comfortable. But, no, Kara thought. Lena is an Oscar-winning actress; she can put up a damn good front when she needs to, and as she was essentially sitting at the mercy of a total stranger off the street, completely vulnerable, why _wouldn’t_ she put on said act?

Kara was pretty sure she would’ve, in Lena’s position. She was also pretty sure that Alex would be really jealous of her right now.

“Kara?” Lena was waving a hand in front of her face.

“Oh! Golly, sorry, I was miles away,” Kara exclaimed, jumping a little.

“Do you want any more of this pizza before it gets so cold that the only thing it would be useful for is education? You know. For science lessons on avoiding food poisoning,” Lena tacked on at the end, with a slight grin.

Kara shuffled forward on the sofa a little. “There is no sense in wasting good pizza,” she said, and picked up one of the last remaining slices.

Lena leaned sideways against the arm of the sofa and gave Kara an appraisal so frank that had her almost swallow the pizza down the wrong pipe. “I have no idea,” Lena began, “where you put all that pizza. There’s less of you than some of my fittest colleagues, and yet, there doesn’t seem to be an ounce of fat on you.”

Kara blushed. “When I’m not working, I spend a lot of time on the running machine. I’ve got a little gym upstairs that I use. Got to get in shape for that zombie apocalypse, you know!”

Glancing over at the TV screen where someone was dying a very grisly death, Lena laughed. It was a very pretty laugh. “I suppose-” just then, Lena’s cell phone rang. “I’m sorry, I have to take this. It’s my team.”

“Oh sorry, I’ll just…” and Kara launched herself off the sofa and quickly carried the pizza box into the kitchen, missing the strange look Lena gave her.

Kara tidied up the kitchen and tried not to feel at least a little sad that this phone call would mean the end of her bizarre afternoon. It had only been two hours since the coffee incident, but it had been a really enjoyable moment of time in her life. She shoved the pizza box into her recycling bag to carry out later and checked her phone to see whether there had been any messages from Winn. There weren’t any, but she had a message from Alex reminding her to pick up five different types of ice cream for their game night on Friday. She was just writing a note to stick to the fridge about that when Lena seemingly snuck silently into the kitchen and tapped her on the shoulder.

Kara shrieked and jumped a mile, drawing a huge squiggle across the note and what seemed like half the kitchen worktop. Crumpling her note in her hand, she turned around to see Lena staring at her with amusement, the laughter lines at the corners of her eyes looking very pronounced.

“Is one of your other jobs being a ninja?!” she said breathlessly.

Lena smiled and pointed to her feet. “I’m not wearing any shoes. Usually that means people are a bit quieter when they move around.”

“Well. Remember to put that on your resumé,” Kara said, flattening out her note and sticking it to the fridge, squiggle and all.

“You didn’t have to leave the room, you know,” Lena stated after a few seconds of silence, in a doleful sort of tone, causing Kara to glance over at her. “It was just my team.”

“Yeah, well, I wanted to give you your privacy. I’ve already got in the way enough today,” Kara said quietly.

“Thank you, but it wasn’t necessary. My driver is coming along in a few minutes to pick me up just outside,” Lena said, as she looked around for her shoes.

“They’re over there,” Kara pointed with her chin. “Pretty sure they’re the tallest shoes I’ve ever seen.”

“They would be useless in a zombie apocalypse. I would definitely not be keeping them in my bunker,” Lena exclaimed as she stepped into them and strapped them up, wincing. “They’re also not very comfortable.”

Kara couldn’t imagine wearing anything that wasn’t super-comfortable, so she just shook her head and checked the sofa to make sure that Lena hadn’t left anything behind. “What should I do about the dress?”

“My assistant will be able to pick it up after a few days,” Lena began, and then the doorbell sounded. Lena sighed and continued, “that’ll be my driver, then.” She didn’t sound particularly happy about it, which confused Kara. Why wouldn’t she be happy to go back to normal?

“Oh right, okay, I’ll show you out then,” she said, gesturing for Lena to follow her. They headed back down the steps and this time, Kara pulled the bike further up the passage so that neither she nor Lena would trip over it. She held onto the bike a little too long, and the doorbell sounded again. She pushed the bike against the wall and turned to face Lena, who was right behind her. “I suppose this is where we say goodbye. I’m sorry, again, about your dress. I really hope that the stain will come out and,” she cleared her throat, “it was a really nice afternoon. With you, I mean. Surreal, but nice.”

Lena smiled, her eyes looking even greener somehow in the darkness of the corridor. “Surreal, indeed,” she murmured. She hesitated, her hand going for the lock on the door, before that hand landed warmly on Kara’s bare forearm. “Thank you again for your discretion,” she said quietly, before looking directly into Kara’s eyes. And then, before Kara could say golly, Lena had leaned forward and softly pressed her lips against Kara’s, in perhaps the gentlest kiss she had ever received. It lasted no longer than a second or two, before Lena pulled back and released her hold on Kara’s arm, leaving tingles behind. “Surreal, but nice.” And then she opened the door and walked outside, pulling it closed behind her. Kara’s fingers went up to her lips as her back thumped against the wall, dazed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you so much :) it means more than you know!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I'm totally heartbroken for Lena after the season 4 finale :( #LenaLuthorNeedsAHug

Kara spent the rest of that Monday afternoon flitting around her house, before heading upstairs to do a very hard hour on the running machine to burn off some of the energy that had appeared out of nowhere. Kara was definitely not planning on telling anyone about what had happened that afternoon; not that she thought anyone would believe her anyway. Winn was the only other person who had seen her, and nobody else had any idea of what had happened once Kara had left the bookstore.

As bad as she felt about the Givenchy dress Lena had been wearing ( _please have let the stain come out_ ), Kara was pretty sure that she’d had one of the best afternoons of her life. Try as she might, she couldn’t come up with another word for the afternoon other than surreal. It wasn’t even that Lena was an actress… it was more that she was wonderful company, and Kara had enjoyed being around her. Once she’d got over the fact that there was someone who _was someone_ to the world sitting on her sofa, it had been surprisingly easy to be near Lena. She had joked about her favorite characters in the Walking Dead, made London sound like a dream come true, and looked more relaxed than Kara had seen her in various interviews on Youtube.

Come to think of it…

Kara switched off the running machine and stretched out her muscles, then headed back downstairs to the sofa, grabbing her laptop on the way. Loading it up, she typed Lena’s name into Google, feeling a little creepy. Shaking it off, she loaded up a few recent interview articles that Lena had been a part of after her last film had been released.

Tucking her feet underneath the cushion beside her, Kara settled in to read about the woman that had captivated her since the moment she’d walked into her bookstore.

* * * * *

A couple of hours later, Kara had learnt several things. Lena had recently turned 26 years old two months ago. Her middle name was Kieran, named after the birth mother she’d hardly known before she’d passed away in a boating accident in Greece when Lena was four. She’d been adopted by the Luthors, but spent the next ten years in a boarding school in rural Ireland. Lena had been certified a genius at a young age with an IQ of 159, started college very early, and completed multiple degrees in engineering, biology, a double major in chemistry and physics; if that wasn’t enough, she’d then followed it up with a Master’s degree in business.

During university, and once she graduated, she worked in the research and development arm of LuthorCorp, dedicating herself to studying nanotechnology and the eradication of diseases, money being no object to the Luthors. However, four years ago, just as she was coming close to a cure for cancer of all things, there had been an incident where her brother Lex had been indicted by the courts and jailed for 32 consecutive life sentences. It had been an international scandal, with the words bioterrorism and ecoterrorism thrown around in the news.

LuthorCorp had fallen from grace in the biggest possible way, and although it hadn’t folded (due to the millions upon millions that the family held privately), there was so much suspicion associated with the Luthor name now that there was nobody willing to do business with them. Lena had only been 21, but nobody would hire her.

Kara clicked onto a Youtube link in the article, which was an interview with Lena at 23 years old, after she’d changed careers entirely. According to the blurb under the video image, this was the only time Lena had talked about her career change; it had been off the table ever since, as if once she had discussed it, it didn’t need to be mentioned again. She smiled when Lena’s face popped up on the screen and the Ellen asked her the question.

 **Ellen:** _so, why did you make the jump into acting? The leap from science lab to Hollywood is quite a big one!_

 **Lena:** _that’s true! *laughs* to be honest, after what happened, I needed to distance myself from everything. The easiest way to do that seemed to be to just pretend not to be myself. When I was in boarding school, I was in every play or production that my school put on, and much to my mother’s displeasure, I really enjoyed it. My last name precluded me from basically every other career after… but I found a less-than-scrupulous agent who didn’t really care who I was, just as long as I could do a credible job pretending to be the person on their page._

 **Ellen:** _that sounds a bit sad if, if I’m honest._

 **Lena:** _I’m not saying it wasn’t. But at the time it made perfect sense to me. I think at the beginning, my last name being attached to a film was some sort of notoriety that people sought out, but very quickly they were willing to let me be Lena, instead of Lena Luthor, and back then, that was definitely okay with me. After a few low-budget films, I lucked out when a colleague of mine mentioned they were doing an on-location film conversion of one of my favorite books-_

 **Ellen:** _which book was that?_

 **Lena:** _the Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. They were filming in Budapest and it seemed perfect. I was cast as Helen, and nobody recognized me in Hungary; we shot the film, and the rest, as they say, is history!_

Kara found the little clap Lena did for herself at the end of that last sentence adorable, if she did say so herself. It seemed the audience agreed, because there was a big cheer.

 **Ellen:** _and all of a sudden…_

 **Lena:** _all of a sudden, my name wasn’t the weight around my neck it had been anymore. I felt freer, and then I won the Oscar which was one of the best days of my whole entire life! I wasn’t Lena Luthor anymore. I was_ Lena Luthor _… you hear the difference? I wasn’t standing in my brother’s shadow any more. I was standing in my own light._

Kara paused the video there. The smile that was spread across Lena’s face was beautiful, and she looked happy. The interview had been filmed nearly three years ago, and Lena had only gone from strength to strength since then. Kara was as proud of her as she could be of someone she hardly knew.

She had got to bask in Lena’s extraordinary light for a little while, and Kara hoped that some of her strength had rubbed off on her.

* * * * *

The next few days for Kara went by in a blur. The shop was quite busy because they’d had a stock delivery and Winn had booked a few days off to spend with his girlfriend Lyra, who lived upstate, and Kara was the only one in the shop. She didn’t mind, getting stuck into moving things around, watering all the succulents, and catching up on some of the more recent releases by her favourite authors so that would know whether to recommend them or not if someone asked. Lena flashed across her mind often; the memory of the afternoon made her smile. She tried not to dwell on the brief kiss or what it could possibly have meant, because she found that if she did, it made her liable to drop whatever she had in her hands at the time. She’d already had to repot three succulents.

On Friday morning, her first morning off all week, Kara was woken up early by Alex whipping a pillow at her head. She groaned and pulled the pillow over her head, hearing laughter behind her.

“Come on Kara, get up! I need you to help me attach my new boxing bag to the ceiling.” Kara peered blearily at Alex, who was standing in the doorway wearing her scrubs, waved a box at her. “I’ve got donuts as a bribe?”

Never one to turn down sugary food, Kara oozed out of bed and stared at her dark-haired sister. “Are you saying I have to hold the bag up for you?”

“Yes, because you’re too afraid of heights to climb the ladder,” Alex replied, shaking her head. “The most use you are is standing still. _Hey!_ ”

Kara had whipped the pillow right back at Alex, who somehow managed to hold onto the box of donuts. She stood at the bathroom door while brushed her teeth, and chatted about some of the unusual sights she’d seen in the ER in her last few shifts, laughing as she described the man who had somehow got a tire iron superglued to his back and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t bend over any more.

The two sisters spent a while rearranging their gym to fit the bag, shifting the running machine so that it just about faced the window rather than the room so they could look out as they ran, and then wrestled the heavy boxing bag into the best position. Kara held the bag up as high as she could while Alex drilled the chains into the ceiling, wobbling slightly on the rickety ladder they’d found in a cupboard in the bookstore a few weeks ago.

“Just a few more seconds,” Alex stated, while Kara groaned under the weight of the bag. “It’s lucky you’re so strong.”

“It would help to be strong once the zombie apocalypse happened,” Kara grunted into the bag.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing!”

“Pretty sure scientists would be more help in an apocalypse, you know,” Alex said. “There are bound to be a lot of accidents. Speaking of scientists, one of them called for you the other day. Said their last name was Einstein.” Kara’s face screwed up in confusion. “On Wednesday, I think. Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Oh, you can let go of the bag now,” she finished, climbing back down the ladder and surveying their handiwork.

Kara glanced over at her, shaking out her arms. “A scientist? Someone from your hospital?”

“No, someone I didn’t know. They had an accent… American, but kind of as if they’d spent some time somewhere else. I think their name was Elena? Lana?”

“Lena?!” Kara spluttered. “Are you sure?” Her stomach swooped low in her body and then filled with butterflies. A grin spread uncontrollably across her face.

“Yeah, that was it,” Alex said, giving Kara a strange look. “Why are you smiling like a fool? Do you know them?”

“Sort of. Just someone I met in the shop the other day,” Kara squeaked. “What did they say?”

“Oh right. She asked after you, then when I said you were at work she asked me to ask whether you would be able to meet her at the James hotel… today, actually.”

“ _Today_ , Alex? What time?”

Alex looked at her watch and then ran a hand through her short dark-red hair. “Err, half an hour ago,” Alex replied sheepishly.

“ _Alex!_ ”

“I’m sorry! You were just so busy and I’ve been on night shifts at the hospital all week until now. I’m sure she won’t mind. Just apologise when you get there. Penthouse suite!” she shouted at Kara’s retreating back.

* * * * *

Twenty minutes later, Kara was sitting on the subway heading towards Canal Street station. She had never rushed so much in her life, not having time to trouble about what she was going to wear. She’d thrown on blue jeans, a light blue turtleneck sweater, and a dark red coat over the top, barely having time to shove her feet into her boots as she headed out of the door. Kara wasn’t entirely sure whether her socks even matched.

In fact, they probably, most definitely, didn’t match. As long as Lena didn’t ask her to take her shoes off when she arrived, she didn’t think it would matter too much anyway.

As the stops flew past the window, Kara wondered what Lena wanted. She hadn’t told Alex, or Alex hadn’t elaborated, in the message, so she was flying blind. What could Lena possibly want with her? She was looking forward to seeing her again, but not knowing the reason for the requested meeting definitely made her nervous. Yeah, that was definitely the reason her stomach was tied in knots. What else could it be?

 _To charge you for a new Givenchy dress_ , her traitorous mind told her. Kara gulped. _Please no._ She tapped her feet impatiently on the train floor.

As her stop approached, Kara elbowed her way to the door and hoped she’d not stepped on any elderly person’s toes, and when the doors opened, she practically sprinted her way out of the station. The crosswalks worked out in her favor, but by the time she made it to the hotel, she was out of breath and feeling distinctly hot around the collar. She pulled at the neck of her sweater, wishing she’d thought to wear anything other than this.

Giving herself a little shake, she walked into the reception and straight up to the desk clerk.

“Hi, um… hi, Kara Danvers here to see L-”

“Miss Danvers. That’s fine, they’re expecting you,” the clerk interrupted. “Please take this keycard; it will allow you access to the penthouse suite. Take the elevator over there,” the clerk pointed, “and present the keycard to the gentlemen outside the suite. They will give you further instructions.”

 _They?_ Kara thought to herself. Dashing off a thank you to the clerk, Kara strode over to the elevator, trying to make herself look like she fit in with all the well-dressed people walking around. Standing in the lift, she pressed the button for the penthouse and spent the ride trying to flatten her now wayward hair. She’d only had time to pull it into a ponytail as she was walking towards the subway, and she wasn’t even sure if it was even.

Offhandedly, she wondered why she was worrying so much about her hair when she was reasonably sure that the only logical reason she was here was to be presented with a whacking great bill from Lena’s team. But some hope floated through her by-now scrambled brain, if that was the case, why would Lena have called personally? Trying to swallow the butterflies away, Kara waited anxiously for the ding to indicate she’d arrived at the right floor, watching the numbers climb. And finally, they stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to lose Lena's scientific background just for this fic; it's a part of her character that I like very much. Anyway, sorry this chapter is short, but we're just building now towards more a lot more interaction between our lovely ladies :) if you're familiar with the film, you know what's coming!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone's recovered from the S4 finale by now?
> 
> Kara is not a good reporter in this fic. Just putting that out there before you read this!

Kara wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the utter pandemonium that greeted her as the doors opened, several people flying past her carrying large reams of what looked like press packets. Dodging out of their way, she looked around, trying to spot the man the reception clerk had mentioned, but couldn’t. After a few more seconds of searching, she spotted a harassed-looking woman with a name badge, and walked over to her.

“Er, hi, my name is Kara Danvers and I’m here to s-” she started.

“Which publication are you from?” the woman interrupted. Kara looked at the name badge, which said the woman’s name was Jess, and shook her head.

“Publication?”

“Yeeeees, for the cast interviews,” Jess elaborated, ticking Kara’s name off on the list on her clipboard.

“Cast interviews?” Kara squawked. Jess huffed out an impatient breath, and Kara cast her mind around quickly. On the sofa at home was… “CatCo Magazine,” Kara laughed, trying to pass off her confusion as humorously as possible. Jess stared at her, seemingly unimpressed.

“Right,” she said, drawing out the vowel. “Here’s your press pack. You’ll be interviewing four of the cast: Max Lord, Ruby Arias with her mother’s supervision, Mike Matthews, and Lena Luthor. In that order, no exceptions.” With that, Jess walked off down the corridor, and Kara quickly followed her, sensing that this Jess was really at the end of her tether already. Jess led her into a beautifully-furnished room with the actors sat around the edges, each with someone in front of them. She looked around for Lena, and didn’t notice Jess stopping in front of her, with the result that Kara crashed right into her, dropping her phone and press pack on the floor, and getting showered by Jess’ paperwork.

Jess mumbled something that sounded very much like _don’t pay me enough for this shit_ before gathering everything off the floor and pointing her towards Max Lord, who was now looking at Kara expectantly. Jess shoved the press pack into Kara’s chest and pushed her towards Max, stating, “you’ve got five minutes with each, and ten with Miss Luthor. Stick to it, as there are people coming behind you.”

Kara stumbled towards Max, who looked amused as he stood up and held his hand out for her to shake. As she reached him and shook his hand, she glanced down at the press pack and saw the name of the film splashed across it: _The Vehemence_. She’d never heard of it.

“Hello,” she said awkwardly to Max, as she thumped down into the armchair opposite him.

“Hi,” he replied. “Um, aren’t you going to record this?”

“Oh!” Kara exclaimed, jumping. She fished her phone out of her pocket, cursing the rainbow unicorns splashed all over it as she set it to record and put it down on the table between them. “So… um. Hi! You must be… happy to be working on this film? What did you really like the most about shooting it?”

“I enjoyed riding all the horses,” Max stated. “They let me do my own riding. That was an aspect to shooting that I hadn’t expected.”

“Great! Um… did you- er, did you have a favorite horse?” Kara burst out. Max stared at her, looking confused. “You know, did they have names and stuff and,” Kara forged on, feeling ridiculous, “did you want to adopt any of them after shooting ended?”

A ghost of a smile passed over Max’s face. “I live on the top floor of an apartment block in L.A. I’m not quite sure where I would keep a horse. I’m not sure I could fit it in the elevator.”

“Oh, right.” Kara mumbled. This was going to be a long afternoon.

 

* * * * *

 

Kara’s interview with Ruby Arias went just as swimmingly. Ruby picked up on the fact she had no clue about the film, talked about the laser gun battles, the musical numbers, and how hard it had been to learn to tap dance. Kara was really beginning to think that this sounded like a film she should try watching when it was released. The interview ended with Ruby winking and told her that the film was a gritty, hard-hitting, _realistic_ Western set before the Civil War, and Samantha Arias, Ruby’s mother, giving Kara an apologetic look before sniggering helplessly into her hand.

 

* * * * *

 

By the time she reached Mike Matthews, Kara was exhausted. Her phone only had 30% battery left as she’d forgotten to charge it the night before, she still hadn’t spotted Lena, and now she was sat across from a man who looked like he was mentally undressing her even as she sat there in the most unrevealing clothes possible. _Ugh_. His handshake had lasted, and lasted, and lasted, as he looked her up and down.

“So, Mr. Matthews-”

“Mike, please,” he corrected her, with what she supposed he thought was a charming smile. “Mr. Matthews is what I like to be called in bed.”

Oh, _gross_. “Mike. Right.” What do I have to lose? Kara thought to herself. CatCo can’t fire me from a job I don’t have in the first place. Plastering the sweetest smile she could manage on her face, she began her interview. “Have you always been a smarmy, misogynistic moron or is this a new method acting thing you’re trying out?”

* * * * *

Kara pushed her way into the bathroom, leaned over the sink, and took a deep breath. Blowing it out, she slowly raised her eyes to her reflection, hoping that her face didn’t look as crazy as she felt. It did. She scoffed and fixed the flyaway hairs framing her face. Yanking her phone back out of her pocket, she sent a quick text to Alex.

 **Kara:** _I’m interviewing the cast of The Vehemence!_

Alex’s reply came quickly.

 **Alex:** _No shit! HOW and WHY are you doing that? What the eff are you even asking them?_

 **Kara:** _I don’t even know any more. I just nearly decked Mike Matthews as he tried to pinch my ass on my way out of the room._

 **Alex:** _HAHAHAHA_

Kara stuffed her phone back in her pocket. The only interviewee left was Lena herself, and she still didn’t know where she was. She wasn’t in the main room with the rest of the cast, and Kara wasn’t quite sure where she was meant to go now. She headed back out of the bathroom and searched out Jess, eventually finding her with her in a kitchen holding an enormous mug of coffee with her eyes closed as if it was the lifeblood of earth.

“Hi, Jess. I’m sorry to bother you- shit, sorry!” she burst out as Jess jumped and slopped some coffee onto her shoes. _That’s all I need, another coffee bill._ “I’ve finished with the rest of the cast, but I’m not quite sure where Le- uh, Miss Luthor is? Could you possibly point me in the right direction?

Jess nodded and gestured at her to follow, seemingly having lost the ability to speak right now. Irritation radiated from her. She led Kara away from the rest of the penthouse and down a much quieter corridor towards a room with a closed door with a man in a suit standing outside. When they reached the door, Jess promptly turned around and left, leaving Kara with the suited man.

“You’ve got ten minutes with Miss Luthor,” he stated, before pushing the door open and, not surprising Kara in the least, followed her in.

And finally, _finally_ , she saw her. Lena was standing by the window of a vast bedroom, her back to the entrance. She was wearing a dark red shift dress and more of the towering heels she’d had on earlier in the week. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, looking just as sleek as ever. Turning at the interruption, her eyes lit up as she saw Kara, even as she cast a glance at the suited man behind Kara.

“Miss Danvers,” Lena greeted, walking swiftly across the room with her hand held out to shake, a wide smile on her face.

“Miss Luthor,” Kara replied, the force of her own smile feeling like it was going to split her face. Suddenly, all the butterflies that had slowly vanished as she had made her way through the rest of the interviews returned with full force. “I’m here with CatCo magazine,” she said, watching Lena’s eyebrows rise in mirth. “Thank you so much for seeing me.”

“Not at all.” Lena indicated the sofa and armchair across the room. “Please, have a seat.”

Sitting down as far away from the suited man as she could, Kara looked askance at Lena, who turned to the man. “Daniel, would you mind fetching me a cup of tea? All this talking has given me a dry throat.”

Daniel nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

Kara blew out a quick breath and chuckled. “Do you know how many stupid questions I’ve asked since I got here half an hour ago?” she asked.

“I am so sorry about this. I left the message with your- with Alex, and I thought you’d be here before everyone else showed up,” Lena said, looking apologetic and leaning across to squeeze Kara’s hand briefly before letting go. Her hands went to her lap, and she started to fidget, as if she were a little on edge. _Was she nervous?_ Kara thought.

“I’m impressed that you remembered her name,” Kara said with a smile.

“Well. I’ve got a fairly decent memory, but I think forgetting your sister’s name would’ve been quite unforgivable,” Lena replied in a low voice. “I hope it hasn’t been too horrendous?”

“Ruby led me down the garden path. I’ve not heard of the film until today, so when she told me that it was a tap-dancing musical, I believed her.”

Lena laughed out loud, leaning forwards. “Here’s an exclusive for CatCo. I can’t sing!”

“In that case, I’m-”

The door crashed open as Daniel returned with a mug of tea for Lena, who took it with thanks and sipped it, grimacing slightly at the taste. Daniel didn’t leave the room again, so Kara shuffled backwards on the seat and set her phone to record on the coffee table next to Lena’s mug.

“So, Miss Luthor. I hear that you were disappointed that the film wasn’t a musical. Can you elaborate a little about why the songs were cut?” Kara asked, grinning.

Lena let out an undignified snort, causing Daniel to look over at them both. Leaning against the armrest, she crossed her legs. “Well. I’m afraid that the audience would’ve only got half a performance out of me, as they would’ve had to dub over any attempt at singing that I would’ve done. The additional work just wasn’t in the budget last-minute, so we had to cut the numbers out. Elton was so disappointed.”

Kara smiled at her. “And what about the laser gun battles Ruby was so excited about?”

“Pardon me?”

“The laser gun battles with the space pirates, halfway through the second act. Ruby was quite insistent.”

Lena’s eyes crinkled as she looked at Kara with amusement. “Personally, I thought they improved an otherwise dull part of the film.”

Daniel stood up as a knock sounded at the door, and Kara and Lena both watched him open it to reveal Jess looking even more harried than she had when Kara had arrived. He turned around and eyed Kara, obviously wary about leaving his charge alone.

Reading the look on his face perfectly, Lena called across to him, “don’t worry about Miss Danvers, Daniel. She’ll be a perfect gentlewoman, won’t you?”

“A perfect gentlewoman, I swear.”

When he still looked hesitant, Lena waved her hand at him. “Go on, Daniel. Go and have a five-minute break and a cup of tea or something. I’ll be alright and if I’m not,” she grinned, “I’ll scream.”

Nodding, Daniel left the room again, shutting the door behind him, leaving them both alone in the room.

Kara looked back at Lena, and although she hadn’t realized that Lena was tense, she recognized the signs of someone relaxing. Lena let out a massive sigh and the tension seemed to bleed out of her shoulders, her posture becoming something slightly less than perfect, and a lazy smile spread across her face.

“Hello again,” she said, raising her mug in Kara’s direction before taking a sip, not taking her eyes off Kara’s.

“Hey,” Kara replied, relaxing in kind.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I called.”

“I really, really hope that it’s not going to be because you’re going to land me with a massive bill to replace the dress I inevitably ruined because I don’t think there’s anything at home I could sell that would fetch the amount of money I’d need for that and it looked like a really expensive dress,” Kara burst out, without stopping to take a breath.

Lena’s green eyes danced with laughter as she took another sip of her tea. “This would be delicious on another planet,” she commented. “No, I’m not here to extort money for the dress. You’ll be glad to know that your dry-cleaners did an exemplary job, so, no harm done.”

Kara blew out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “Oh wow, thank you! I was worried there for a second.”

“Did you really think I’d charge you to replace an irreplaceable dress?”

“Well, when you put it like that, I suppose not,” Kara replied. “Thank goodness. I’m really glad that the coffee came out though, I had this horrible feeling that it would be covered in a huge brown stain forever.”

Kara leaned forward and picked up her phone, turning the recording app off and showing Lena that there would be no record of this conversation. “I have got so much ridiculous stuff saved on my phone now after today!”

“Well, I wanted to say thank you again, for the other day. Not for spilling coffee on me, but for your hospitality afterwards, and especially for not telling anyone about it. About the coffee or the… the fact that I kissed you. My team monitored social media afterwards but there was no mention of it anywhere, so, thank you,” Lena exclaimed, sounding very sincere, and Kara noticed that Lena’s fingers were twisting in her lap.

“You’re welcome! I wouldn’t have invaded your privacy that way- er, I mean, any more than I already did, I mean, wow,” Kara babbled. “It wasn’t my place to say anything. I didn’t even tell Alex when she complained that I’d ordered pizza without her. Oh. You meant about the kiss as well. I- well, I don’t know how open you are about certain parts of your life. Your privacy is your business, not mine.”

Lena looked gratified. “You’re really something else, you know?” At Kara’s embarrassed face, she continued. “I mean it. Most people… would’ve taken advantage of the notoriety, I suppose. Used it as free publicity or something like that. I don’t know what came over me, and you’d… you’d be surprised how many people would’ve resorted to blackmail as well,” she stated, a sad look in her eyes. “I really appreciate that you went out of your way to make me feel as comfortable as possible in the circumstances.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that,” Kara replied, feeling warm inside.

“And because of that I- I feel like… well, I had a really nice, _surreal_ time with you.” To Kara’s surprise, Lena actually did look slightly bashful. “I did have an ulterior motive for asking you here today. I wanted to- to ask whether you would consider going for a meal with me tonight. As a thank you, if… if nothing else. I know a great place and we wouldn’t be disturbed by any paparazzi.”

Kara felt the blush rising in her face, and she remembered belatedly that she hadn’t had time to put much makeup on today in her rush to get to the hotel.

Thankfully, Lena only smiled gently at her. “Don’t worry, Kara. I really did feel comfortable with you. It was a rare gift, being able to relax around someone that wasn’t asking anything of me. I guess I just feel like, I mean, if you’re willing, I would like to try that again. If that’s okay with you. This time without wearing the coffee, though.”

“I would love to!” Kara exclaimed loudly. “Oh, damn, I’m so sorry, I’m busy tonight. Alex and I and some of our friends have our games night tonight. Unless you wanna come? Although why would-”

Lena burst out laughing. “Kara! I would love to go to games night with you. That actually sounds like a lot of fun. But, are you sure?”

“Am I sure? Are _you_ sure you want to go to Winn’s house, he’s the guy I work with, and play games with people you don’t know?”

“I know you, don’t I?” Lena said, thankfully not looking at Kara like she’d grown a second head. In fact, she looked earnest.

“You do, but barely.”

“That’s something I’d like to change, Kara. Relax. Can you write down your- oh, there’s no paper in here. Can you just text me the details?” Lena picked up her phone and started to unlock it.

Kara gaped at her, surprise coloring her voice. “You’re really serious.”

Lena looked up at her through her eyelashes. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Well-”

“I’m just a person, Kara. One that enjoys your company, and one who would like to know you better.” Lena held her cell out to her, and this time when their fingers brushed as she took it, Kara’s skin felt like it was on fire. She inputted her number into Lena’s cell, triple-checking that she had typed it correctly, before handing it back. Lena reached for it with both hands, taking the cell with one hand and squeezing Kara’s hand with the other, and pressing a button.

On the table, Kara’s cell started rumbling and Wannabe by the Spice Girls started playing. Kara dived dramatically for her phone, silenced it, and shoved it in her back pocket while Lena chuckled. “No judgement,” she said, holding up her hands, while Kara looked across at her, flushed.

As Kara was about to speak again, she noticed that Lena’s posture straightened up and that her eyes were on the door behind Kara, which had opened as Daniel walked back in. She looked back down at Kara, an apology in her eyes. “I think that’s all we have time for, Miss Danvers.”

“Oh! That’s okay, Le-Miss Luthor. Thank you so much for your time.” She waved her cell at Lena where Daniel couldn’t see it, and Lena smiled broadly at her. She held out her hand to Lena, who shook it and brushed her thumb against the back of Kara’s hand gently. Leaning forward and speaking under her breath, she added, “I’ll send you a message about tonight.”

Lena nodded imperceptibly. “It’s been a pleasure, Miss Danvers. I do hope you’ll enjoy the film when it’s released. Good luck with your article on the musical space pirates.”

Taken by surprise, Kara cackled, causing Lena to laugh as well. “Have a good day, Miss Luthor,” she said, before slowly releasing Lena’s hand and turning around to leave. As she reached the door, Daniel opened it for her, and she took the opportunity to take one last look at Lena, in case she’d dreamed this entire afternoon. Lena was standing where she’d left her, arms crossed over her chest, and the ghost of a smile on her face. She waved with her fingers, and Kara grinned at her before heading out.

By the time she reached the hotel lobby, she could no longer resist the adrenaline flowing through her body. She vigorously shook herself out and huffed out a delighted breath. She strode towards the doors, but stopped halfway across the lobby, nearly tripping over a bus boy pulling a large suitcase.

She had invited Lena Luthor to games night with her friends. Tonight. _Oh shit…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading and for the comments I've been getting - they really make my day when I see a new one :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) thanks so much for reading this, you've no idea how happy it makes me!

On the way home, Kara felt like she was simultaneously floating with happiness and in the midst of a panic attack. The panic had come on when she was walking down the street back to the subway and she remembered that she hadn’t brought anyone to games night before, and that showing up with someone as famous as Lena Luthor was going to put the cat among the pigeons, to say the least. She had no idea how her friends were going to react, had no idea which kind of games Lena liked or played, or which flavor of ice cream would be Lena’s favorite.

She couldn’t do anything about which games Winn had at his apartment, so that would be a shot in the dark, but she could at least try something about the ice cream. Pulling her cell out of her pocket, she groaned at how red the battery icon was, dug around in her bag until she found her portable charger, and plugged it in. By the time she arrived at the 7/11 near her home, the cell was usable again.

Stopping short of the door, Kara saw the missed call notification, and quickly saved the number under just _Lena_ , just in case someone got hold of her cell at some point. Suddenly feeling paranoid, her fingers flew over her settings as she changed her passcode and made it extra-complicated, hoping that she would remember it later. And then she froze.

_What, exactly, did someone type in a damn text message to Lena Luthor?_

Recalling some of the last words Lena had said to her, reminding her that she was just a person, she was immediately irritated at herself, and made her mind up on the spot; Lena would be treated just the same as anyone else in her life. And that meant that she deserved all of the emojis. Opening the messaging app, she located Lena in her contact list (and refused to acknowledge the frisson of excitement that ran through her as she saw her name) and started to type.

**Kara:** _Hey Lena, this is Kara, the one who spilled the coffee on you!!! Just wanted to send over the details about tonight, I’ll put Winn’s address in the next message. I’ll meet you outside at 7:15pm and I hope this is really your number otherwise there will be a total stranger coming to games night and Winn will be really itchy and Alex will have to take them out lol_

Ending it with a slew of various happy face emojis, she sent it off, and then sent Winn’s address.

**Kara:** _Oh I forgot, what kind of ice cream do you like?!?!?! I’m just about to go buy it! Unless you don’t like it. In which case I’m sure I can find some tea that’s better than Daniel’s_

She turned her cell off silent so that she could hear any notifications, shoved it back out of sight, and then headed into the store. By the time she’d reached the frozen section, she’d already taken her cell back out twice, just to check if there were any replies. _You’re really lame, Kara Danvers_ , she thought to herself as she opened the freezer door and started grabbing ice cream. They now needed six different flavors, if she included Lena, so she filled her basket with one of each Ben & Jerry’s flavor that they had. She ended up with eleven tubs of ice cream instead of six, but you could never have too much ice cream anyway.

Kara picked up a few other snacks on her way to the checkout, and was just deciding that _both_ was the best solution to the jelly babies versus Jolly Ranchers debate when her cell dinged in her pocket. She almost dropped the basket in her haste to yank her cell out of her pocket, and grinned from ear to ear when she saw Lena’s name on the screen.

**Lena:** _Hi, Kara. Yes, this is the right phone number. I’ll see you at 7:15. In the event of a zombie apocalypse occurring in the next few hours, assume that my absence is due to that and not my driver getting stuck in traffic. Also, I like anything with chocolate in it_

**Lena:** _:)_

Kara smiled at her phone and checked over the ice cream in her basket again. All of them bar one had chocolate in it, so she guessed she was good.

When Kara arrived back home, Alex had already left. She’d left a note on the fridge: _gone to see Maggie and will be staying at hers later, don’t forget the ice cream!_ Nodding to herself for a job well-done, Kara shoved all the ice cream she’d bought in the freezer and decided on a long, hot shower before the evening began.

Game night had become a staple of their group of friends over a year ago after James and Lucy had broken up, and Winn’s suggestion of getting drunk and playing games to cheer him up had been such a success that they all declared that it would be a good idea if they continued it. And they had, once every two weeks, rotating hosts. Other friends came and went depending on what was going on in their lives, but their core group had remained the same each time: Kara, Alex, Alex’s girlfriend Maggie, Winn, and James.

It was almost as if they had made a silent pact to always attend no matter what, and Kara was very happy about it. They all looked forward to it, and they each had their jobs. Kara’s job was always ice cream, Alex took care of most of the snacks, James brought the alcohol, Maggie got the pizza, and Winn supplied all the games. Absently, she wondered how Lena would fit in with everyone. She was looking forward to tonight’s game night more than she had ever looked forward to one before, and she knew exactly why that was.

After spending well over half an hour standing in front of her wardrobe wrapped in various towels agonizing over her outfit choice and finally deciding on a deep blue A-line dress, Kara was just finishing putting her hair up in a twist when the cab company called to say her cab was downstairs. She gathered up all her ice cream and snacks, headed downstairs, and was soon zooming her way across town to Winn’s place in Greenpoint.

Her cab arrived at 7:10, which Kara considered perfect timing, and as she clambered out she noticed a large black town car parked across the road. She couldn’t see through the windows, but she had a pretty good idea who was inside it. She raised a hand and waved, and a few seconds later, the back door opened and Lena climbed out.

Kara’s mouth immediately turned really dry at she took Lena in. She was dressed reasonably casually, but Kara knew straight away that one single item of Lena’s outfit cost more than her monthly salary. As Lena smiled and made sure of the traffic before crossing the road, Kara subtly, she hoped, checked her out. She had on tailored black slacks, a deep red silk shirt with the top few buttons undone, another pair of her imposing heels with a sole to match her shirt, and a black peacoat. Around her neck hung a simple gold necklace with a single red gemstone teardrop hanging from it, and a large black bag hung from her forearm. Her hair was loose and blew gently around her face as the breeze caught it.

She had been trying so hard not to think about the brief kiss Lena had given her. Lena had deep red lipstick on.

Kara was really trying very hard.

_You should get participation rewards for attempting things like this_ , she thought. Kara cleared her throat as Lena reached her and embraced her quickly, enveloping her in a heavy but expensive perfume that Kara couldn’t place, but instantly liked.

“Kara, hi!” Lena exclaimed, turning around to wave at her driver, who pulled out into the traffic once more.

“Hey Lena, are you ready for this? Are you sure you want to go? I can totally just run in and dump this ice cream off and we can go somewhere more-”

“Oh don’t be silly, I’m just glad to see you. You… you look beautiful, by the way,” Lena added, smiling beatifically at Kara as she brushed her hand down Kara’s arm. “I love that color on you. It really makes your eyes shine.”

Kara felt her stomach swoop again. “You sure know how to make a girl blush, Lena,” she replied.

“I sure hope so. I wouldn’t want to think I’ve lost my touch,” Lena said quietly, leaning towards Kara, before clasping her hands together. “So, who is it that we’re meeting in there?”

“Oh gods, I should’ve told you that before. Well, there’s Alex, my sister. She’s an ER doctor. Then there’s her girlfriend Maggie Sawyer, who’s a cop with the NYPD. Winn Schott is my colleague at Candlelight Bookstore. You may have seen him in passing when you were there the other day. And then there’s James Olsen…” Kara trailed off.

“James Olsen, the photographer?” Lena gave her a penetrating look. “Why the hesitation? Is there something that I should know?”

“No!” Kara blurted out. “At least, nothing from my end. Hell, no. I mean, James, he- well, some time ago when we first met he told me that he… felt things for me, that I didn’t return, um-” Kara adjusted her glasses and sighed. “It was awkward for a little while there. But we got past it. I mean, he didn’t have any of the equipment that I’d usually be looking for so it was never going to go anywhere.”

Lena’s smile had become slightly predatory as Kara rambled on. Kara cleared her throat loudly and gestured behind her. “Shall we?”

Lena followed Kara up the path and said nothing when Kara rang the intercom to be let in. Winn lived on the second floor, so they forewent the lift and climbed the stairs. When they reached apartment 2E, they could hear the cheesy 90’s music Winn was so fond of coming through the door. Kara turned back to look at Lena and frowned as she looked a little more uncertain.

“Are you okay? Last chance to back out?”

Lena visibly shook herself. “I’m okay. I’m actually just a little shy when I meet new people,” she stated, causing Kara to gape at her.

“Seriously? You make a living from performing in front of people and you’re shy?”

Lena rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “A lot of actors and actresses are. That’s why many of them they act.”

Kara frowned; that seemed like an oxymoron to her, but she accepted the explanation, and knocked on the door. It swung open almost immediately, opened by Maggie, and a chorus of “Kara!” sounded from various places in the apartment. Kara walked into a hug from Maggie, then turned around to introduce Lena.

“Maggie, this is my friend Lena. Lena, this is Maggie, Alex’s girlfriend.”

Maggie smiled and, to Kara’s amusement, absolutely no recognition showed on her face as she gave Lena a strong handshake. Kara caught the glance Lena gave her as Maggie released her hand. “Nice to meet you, Lena. Come on in.”

They followed Maggie into the open-plan apartment, and the door closed behind them. Kara could see James fiddling with a camera at the far end of the room; at the sound of the door closing, he looked over and straight away, a glazed look lodged itself on his face as he recognized Lena. At the same moment, Winn walked out of the bathroom. He spotted Kara and walked over to greet her.

“Heyyyy Kara, glad you- oh, holy _shit_!” he burst out as Lena gave him a small wave from behind Kara. He froze on the spot, halfway through taking a step. “You’re not- you’re… Lena Luthor?! Fuck. Lena Luthor? Really?”

Kara burst out laughing. “Winn, this is Lena. Lena, this is Winn, who is probably one of your biggest fans, now I think about it. Sorry. Be cool, Winn!”

Lena stepped around Kara and held out her hand to Winn. “It’s nice to meet you, Winn. Thank you so much for having me at your games night!”

Winn gawked at her before remembering his manners and stepped forward to meet her, shaking her hand vigorously. “It’s great to meet you, honestly, I- I had no idea you were coming!” At that, he gave Kara a wide-eyed look that clearly said _what the actual fuck_ , before looking back at Lena, who had a pleased grin on her face, evidently happy with the surprise her presence had brought. “How do you- no, never mind. I’m sure we’ll get the whole story later!”

“Oh, this is for you. Kara didn’t tell me what I should bring, so, I hope this is alright,” Lena said, digging a bottle of whisky out of her bag and handing it over to Winn, who took it and immediately whistled when he saw the label.

“Okay, we’re definitely keeping you,” he said, taking the bottle to the kitchen.

James, who had been hovering around behind Winn, came forward and introduced himself. Lena sent Kara a sideways look before turning her smile on James. “It’s lovely to meet you, James. I must admit that I’m a fan of your work. Your photograph of the shocked hyenas is hanging in my home in Ireland.”

“Wow. Thank you so much, that… means more than you know,” James replied graciously, giving Lena a full-wattage smile. “It’s always nice to get that ego boost.”

Maggie stepped forward again and gave Lena a reticent look before apologizing for not recognizing her, not that Lena had seemed to mind, but she shrugged off the apology and told Maggie that it had actually been a nice change.

Kara looked at Lena and gave her a thumbs up. Lena nodded, her mouth quirking up at the corners. She still looked a little guarded, careful even, her back straighter than was surely comfortable. Kara attributed that to nerves, which despite Lena’s earlier admission of shyness, she hadn’t expected.

Winn reappeared and took Lena’s coat, hanging it on the back of the door, and they all gathered around the large coffee table that was surrounded by two sofas and an armchair in one corner of the room. Kara settled herself next to Lena, accidentally sitting a little closer than intended, but she didn’t want to move once she felt the warmth of Lena’s arm against hers. Lena didn’t seem to mind at all, and was smiling at her as Winn and James shot her surreptitious glances as they talked.

Maggie ordered the pizzas while Winn brought out the games that he thought they could choose from that evening; Pandemic, Bananagrams, and Articulate. Lena confided that she’d never played any of them, and Winn rubbed his hands together in glee at the thought of being able to teach his heroine how to play some of his favorite games. He began with Pandemic, figuring that Alex could join them in whichever game as soon as she arrived.

Kara watched Lena listening carefully to Winn explain how to play the game while setting up the board; she was giving him her full attention, and her face looked determined. She belatedly remembered that Lena had a masters degree in business, so would probably really enjoy the strategy. The game was usually for four players, but the spare players usually just joined in with another player. Lena shook herself out and edged forward on the sofa, closer to the board, nodded along and asked appropriate questions. Once they were ready, they began.

Very quickly, everyone was exchanging glances as Lena ruthlessly swept across the board, moving the player pieces where they needed to be, seemingly having memorized the draw pile, and directed everyone to where they needed to go a step before they needed to be there. Every suggestion for an action was discussed in great detail, the merits and issues debated very seriously. There was only one mishap with a large outbreak, Lena quickly maneuvering the players to mop up the danger before each and every disease was cured and eradicated from the board faster than they had ever managed before. Winn was staring at Lena as if she’d come from outer space.

“I want her on my team for Articulate,” he declared before Pandemic was even over.

Lena was equally good at Bananagrams, which she took just as seriously. She easily beat them all by playing words that included, Kara noted with a shake of her head, antisera, raiments, keratins, xylem, and aortae, which had James reaching for his phone to check the word rules before declaring her the winner. Lena shot her a proud look, green eyes sparkling with happiness, and Kara felt something warm settle in her stomach.

Alex chose that moment to come in the door like a whirlwind, shouting an apology to everyone before dropping her bag on the floor and carrying over a huge armful of snacks. As she reached the table, she dumped the snacks on a spare bit of sofa and leaned over to give Maggie a deep kiss, causing Winn to wolf-whistle at the blushing couple. It was only as she perched on the edge of the sofa opposite Kara that she shot back to her feet, spotting the addition to their little group.

“Holy _fuck_ , you’re Lena Luthor. What are you- I mean, why- Kara, _this_ is the Lena that you rushed off to meet today at the hotel?”

Everyone had started laughing, and Lena stood up to hold her hand out over the table to Alex. “That’s what it says on my drivers license, anyway. I’m pleased to meet you, Alex.”

Alex gave Lena a strong handshake while giving Kara a shocked look. “It’s- I mean, great to meet you too, Lena. Shit,” she exclaimed. “I’m sorry for giving Kara your message so late! You’re in _The Vehemence_! That’s why she went to the hotel?”

Lena smiled wryly. “That’s quite alright. I was beginning to think I’d been stood up, but she showed up in the end.”

James slapped his thighs. “Okay, now that everyone’s here, I think we’d all like to know just how you’ve ended up at Winn’s apartment, and what’s all this about a hotel?”

With that, Kara settled back and recounted the story of how they’d met in the shop and then spilled coffee all over Lena not long afterwards, leaving out only the fact that Lena had kissed her, and then had them all in hysterics as she described the interviews she’d had to do with the other cast members. Even Lena was giggling, and she gasped when she heard how she’d started out her interview with Mike Matthews, slapping Kara on the knee and then rubbed it gently before leaning back on the sofa.

“He can be quite the jerk, to be honest,” she added with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, which had everyone giggling. After Winn had poured everyone a drink of the scotch Lena had brought, which everyone declared to be excellent, they all dived into the conversation, describing strange colleagues they’d had in other jobs, and sharing funny details about the days they’d had.

While everyone was talking, Kara chanced a look at Lena, who tucked some silky dark hair behind her ear and turned to look at Kara, a gentle smile on her face. She looked far less guarded than she had at the beginning of the evening, and Kara hoped that Lena was having a good time. Aside from the introductions, nobody had been treating Lena as someone out of the ordinary, for which Kara was very grateful. It was just like… a normal night.

Once they’d all eaten enough pizza and snacks, and the whole group felt a little tipsy after Lena’s scotch, James loudly declared that it was time to start Articulate. “Let's do pairs; the boys against the girls against the girls?” he asked. “I think we need to split those two up though,” he added, pointing at Alex and Maggie, who protested. “Hey, you’ve got an unfair advantage!”

The fast-talking description game was explained to Lena, and they all paired off; Alex and Lena, Maggie and Kara, and James and Winn. Just before Lena got up to join Alex on the sofa opposite, she ran her hand gently across Kara’s shoulderblades. And Kara? Kara almost inhaled her scotch the wrong way.

The apartment quickly descended into a loud and frantic game, Lena and Alex racing far ahead of everyone else despite Alex almost yelling trying to describe Dr. Dre to Lena who clearly, absolutely had no clue. Alex flipped the card across the room at the end of the round, exclaiming exasperatedly, “how can you _not_ know who he is?!”

“How was I meant to know who he was from your clue, _he sounds like he has a medical degree but actually really doesn’t_?!” Lena responded, brushing hair out of her face in feigned annoyance. To be fair to Alex, they’d been stuck on their last People round for a while, because Lena (Kara was surprised to learn) didn’t know who any singers, TV presenters, or video game characters were, either to describe them to Alex, or to have them described to her. Kara and Maggie had steadily crept up behind them thanks to Maggie’s unexpected, but welcome, encyclopedic knowledge of geography and nature.

Kara had found herself less and less focused on the game as the alcohol washed through her system, and her thoughts, and her gaze, strayed to the dark-haired woman seated across from her. On the way Lena licked her bottom lip before each round. On the way she held the cards in her delicate hands, careful not to bend them. On the way she ran her hands through her hair and scratched at her scalp as she was wracking her brains thinking of what Alex was describing. On the way she chuckled quietly when someone got something completely wrong. On the way…

And the funny thing is, most of the time when she looked across at Lena, she found Lena watching her with an indecipherable look on her face. Sometimes, she would smile and look away. But other times, Lena would hold her gaze before an entirely different kind of smile slowly crept across her face, and Kara would have to be the one to look away, the air around her feeling hot.

As she was contemplating this while Lena was having a crack at describing Ariana Grande, she felt eyes on her. Glancing up, she saw Winn looking at her with a smirk on his face, and she knew she’d been caught. Blushing, she turned her attention back to the game and determinedly avoided his knowing looks for the remainder of the game.

Alex and Lena did eventually win the game, despite James and Kara protesting their use of their joint scientific background to intricately describe a frog in ways that left everyone else with blank faces. They high-fived each other, and Lena looked both delighted and exhausted.

“I think I’ll have to get a copy of this game. I like it,” she declared to Winn, who punched the air while holding a half-full glass of scotch, causing everyone else to scatter quickly.

When James glanced at his watch, it was the cue for everyone else to start making tracks. Alex and Maggie left first, hugs exchanged with everyone and a last wave at Lena, and James followed them out. Lena excused herself to the bathroom, and Winn caught up with Kara in the kitchen.

“Ah shit, I hope I left the toilet seat down,” slurring his words only the tiniest bit. “You know, Kara, everyone looks at Lena like she’s… like she’s the best thing since double-stuffed Oreos. But you look at her like… a different way, juuuuust saying!”

Kara gave Winn a slight push and laughed as he bumped back into the kitchen island, rolling his eyes at her. She spotted Lena walking back towards her. “Ready to go?” Kara asked.

Lena nodded, pulling her coat on and sliding her feet back into her heels. “Thanks so much, Winn, for hosting tonight and for letting me join in. I had a really good time, and there's some new tech being developed right now that I think you'd enjoy discussing next time,” she paused, “if that sounds like something you'd like?”

Winn rocked back on his heels. “Definitely! That sounds like a plan I'd like to see through. And, it was my pleasure. I hope to see you at another game night; I need you on my team for Articulate!”

They both said their goodbyes to Winn, and headed out into the hall, Lena texting her driver to come and pick her up. Kara was about to call for a cab when Lena gently pressed her hand on top of the screen. “I’ll give you a ride home, Kara,” she said quietly.

“Are you sure?” Kara asked, feeling pleased and not entirely steady on her feet. That scotch must have been quite strong.

“Of course,” Lena smiled softly at her. “Come on, he’ll be outside waiting.”

They made it down the stairs and out into the street without incident, to find Lena’s town car waiting in the same place it had been earlier. Kara wondered whether he’d left traffic cones behind him when he’d left to save the space. When they’d crossed the street, Lena opened the door for Kara, who climbed ungracefully into the back seat and gave the driver her address.

Lena climbed in after her, looking infinitely more poised than Kara felt at the current moment. The car pulled out into the street. The silence between them as the car slipped down the streets was comfortable, but Kara felt the need to fill it regardless. Lena got there first, though.

“So, I’m a little disappointed, Kara,” she started off, her voice serious, and Kara looked at her in alarm. “I fully expected to have a conversation with you tonight about what we’d store in our bunkers in the apocalypse,” she finished, causing Kara to bark out a relieved laugh at the sly look on Lena’s face.

“Well, I only talk about that with the people I trust the most,” she replied, echoing Lena’s words from earlier in the week.

“Damn. Maybe next time then,” Lena laughed, before her voice turned a little quieter. “Thank you, Kara,” she started, looking at her hands in her lap, and then across at Kara with a grateful smile. “I had a lovely time with your friends, and with you. It was… relaxing, and normal. I haven’t played board games in such a long time, and it was good to just… let go.”

Kara reached across and squeezed Lena’s hand, who sent her a relaxed smile. “I’m glad you had a good time, Lena,” she said.

“I’m serious,” Lena replied in a soft voice, squeezing back covering them with her other hand. “I’m not used to it, people being friendly instead of… interested. It was nice. I appreciate it much more than you know. And I know I’ve said it before, but thank you for your discretion as well. It’s been a long time since I haven’t had to worry about that with someone.”

Kara squeezed Lena’s hand again, hoping that Lena was able to hear the words she didn’t think were necessary. It was sad that Lena didn’t seem to have much of a chance to just be herself. It must be exhausting to have that switch always be _on_. It must be lonely. Kara wondered, not for the first time, whether this was why she was being so open with someone who was almost a stranger. Maybe she just needed to be herself, for once.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk together much, though,” Lena continued. “But it was nice to see you around your friends. You laugh a lot and your smile is… almost permanently on your face.”

It was true that Kara’s face ached a little from all the laughing they’d done throughout the evening. “Thank you,” she said. “They’re a great group of people, and we have a lot of fun together. Sometimes there are others, but that’s our core group.”

The car slowed down and then stopped, and Kara recognized her building. With a smile that looked almost shy, Lena rubbed her thumb over Kara’s skin. “But… as lovely as your friends and your sister are, next time, I’d like you all to myself.”

Kara was glad that the car was dark enough to hide her blush that time. “It looks like this is your stop,” Lena said, and pulled her hand out of Kara’s grasp. Kara missed the contact immediately, but then Lena reached across, resting her hand on Kara’s cheek, before leaning in slowly and pressing her soft lips to the corner of her mouth in another gentle kiss. Kara froze in surprise, feeling Lena’s hand leave her face as she leaned back in her seat.

Kara looked across at Lena, who was watching her with a slightly nervous look on her face. Smiling, and hoping against all hope that she had been interpreting the soft looks and smiles she’d been receiving all evening, Kara rested her hand on the seat between them, her palm up, and waited to see what Lena would do. Lena looked across at her, and down at her own hand, before settling hers in Kara’s, linking their fingers together.

Her heart felt like it was singing; the air around her felt thick, and it was if her body released a breath it didn’t know it was holding. But, hang on, Lena’s lips were moving.

“-you again,” Lena was saying.

“Uh, what?” Kara stuttered.

Lena laughed and released her hand. “I said I’d like to see you again. I’m free on Monday evening. Are you?”

“Yes, yeah, I am,” Kara replied quickly. “Sorry, I was miles away for a second there!”

Lena smiled indulgently. “I’ll have to do better at keeping your attention,” she said, before opening the door and getting out, walking around the car to open Kara’s door.

Kara climbed out, and was immediately engulfed in a hug by Lena, her perfume and warmth surrounding her. She wrapped her arms around Lena, feeling the tips of Lena’s hair tickling her forearm, and felt Lena lean into her for an exquisite moment before they both let go of each other.

“Goodnight, Kara,” Lena murmured, giving her the most radiant smile that Kara had yet seen on Lena’s elegant face before raising a hand in goodbye and climbing back into the car.

The memory of that smile and the soft hand in hers carried Kara into the sweetest sleep she could remember having in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully that met with your approval :)
> 
> If you like board games, Pandemic is a really great co-operative one. Articulate is a great party game. I'm terrible at Bananagrams, but hey, Lena apparently isn't, so :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone :) it's date night for Lena and Kara!

Kara’s weekend passed about as slowly as it was possible for a weekend to pass. She spent the entirety of both Saturday and Sunday in Candlelight Bookstore, as it was their busiest time of the week. In fact, of the year. It was only a month until Pride, which in her experience in the bookstore, usually led to a huge increase in footfall. Mostly the additional customers were people who had just, or were about to, come out of the closet, and were looking for some books to either help them through the process or to be surrounded by people who didn’t take any notice of their sexuality. Otherwise, she often had concerned but supportive parents come in asking for books or advice about how to deal with the change in their lives.

They were Kara’s favorites. She liked to hope that her biological parents would’ve been alright with her life if they had lived, but instead she settled for acting the way that she herself would’ve liked to have been received. Eliza and Jeremiah had been extremely supportive of her, although it was a bit of a surprise to have both of their daughters come out to them. Eliza in particular had simply switched from asking when she was going to bring a nice boy home to asking about girls instead, for which Kara was very grateful.

Of course, she’d had Alex helping to pave the way for her. Some of these parents hadn’t seen this coming, and they were the ones Kara wanted to help the most. It was one thing for their child to have time to get used to the idea, but loved ones often had to make a snap decision, and some of them struggled. She’d had a steady stream of them come in already today, and she gently directed them to the table she and Winn had set up which contained books, pamphlets from local LGBT charities and groups, as well as leaflets from PFLAG. There was a sign in the window that said they were open for help and advice as well, and it made her happy that people took her up on it.

Unfortunately, Pride being on its way also meant an uptick in the amount of hate mail that the store received. At first, it had upset her, but she no longer bothered to read it before sticking it in the shredder. As far as Kara was concerned, if they had something to say, they should say it instead of hiding behind paper or a screen.

On this particular Sunday, once she’d opened the store, they hadn’t had a single moment where there was nobody in the store.

When Winn had appeared at 9:15am, nursing a hangover (apparently, he had decided to over-indulge on Lena’s scotch the night before and now severely regretted it), he had scurried into the back and only reappeared 15 minutes later, looking a little green and sweaty. Kara pushed him back into the storeroom and shoved a bottle of water in his hand until he felt brave enough to go for coffee at 10am, but she hadn’t had time to drink more than half of hers.

The coffee had perked him up no end, though, and by the middle of the afternoon he had been happily teasing Kara about Lena.

“Sooooo, have you heard from the lovely Miss Luthor yet today?” he asked casually, sidling up to her to take his turn at the till.

“Not yet. I’m sure she’s busy. People have lives, you know, Winn,” Kara said, handing him the till key fob and starting to move towards the entrance.

“You two were making eyes at each other the whole night on Friday. Don’t pretend you didn’t notice the most beautiful person in the room, other than me, looking at you like you were a full-on meal,” Winn said with a grin.

“Winn!” Kara exclaimed with a blush rising on her face. “Does anyone even say _making eyes_ anymore?”

“You can’t argue with the classics,” he replied, his hand over his heart as Kara rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

“I’m going to take a quick break,” she said.

“Don’t forget to text your _girlfriend_!”

“ _Winn_!”

Thankfully, a customer distracted him long enough for her to manage to go out and get a pizza each for her and Winn. And then a second pizza for herself, because, really, one extra-large pizza wasn’t enough for one person. When she got back, Kara shut herself in the storeroom, shifting a box of books off the tiny spindly table that they kept in there, and then sank gratefully into the equally spindly chair.

She almost didn’t have time to panic about Monday evening. Almost.

Kara thought she’d done an admirable job of attempting to keep Lena off her mind for the majority of the weekend, attempting being the operative word. She hadn’t actually managed well at all.

She could still feel Lena’s warm lips against the corner of her mouth, and remembering the feel of her fingers entwined around hers had Kara flexing her hands every time it crossed her mind. And every time she thought of either, the smile that spread across her face was uncontrollable.

It was true that she hadn’t heard from Lena. Kara opened the messaging app on her phone and stared at the few messages they’d exchanged. She didn’t want to be a bother by texting her first, but her hands had been itching to do so all day, even going so far as to start writing something and then deleting it.

She had slept so well on Friday night, and she knew she’d had good dreams that she unfortunately couldn’t remember in the morning, but she had awoken refreshed. She knew she had the first date feelings when the adrenaline never stopped flowing, but Kara was a pretty energetic person and she tried to run most of it off before she got to work. The giddy feeling just wouldn’t leave her alone, and it followed her like a friendly shadow throughout her days.

As she sat in the storeroom, she tried again to distract herself by browsing Twitter, writing a tweet on the store’s account and replying to a few messages from Alex about the hospital today, but it didn’t last long. Opening the messaging app again, she spotted three dots on the bottom of the screen. Kara froze.

_Lena was writing something._

Kara stared at the screen, her heart pounding and her hands feeling considerably clammier than they had a minute ago. The dots disappeared, and Kara frowned, before they reappeared again, and a grin broke out across her face. How in the world was it possible for pixels on a screen to make her mood change like this?

Oh, who did she think was she was kidding?!

The dots appeared and disappeared several times in the space of a minute or so, and Kara stared at her phone in nervous anticipation, hardly daring to breathe.

 **Lena:** _hi :)_

All that just for a hi? Kara huffed out a laugh, and the dots reappeared.

 **Lena:** _I hope you’re having a good weekend :) or are you working?_

Kara smiled, and the relief that washed over her was palpable. The breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding was released as soon as that hi appeared on her screen. She took another bite of pizza before starting to respond.

 **Kara:** _hello to you too! I am working, and it’s been quite busy, but it’s been nice. It’s coming up to Pride so we’re always busy now. How’s your weekend going?!?!!!_

 **Lena:** _very well, thank you. Doing lots of promotion for the new film, but I have to say that none of them have asked as interesting questions as you did. Apparently, nobody else has got the memo about the space pirates_

 **Kara:** _that makes sense, it’s insider knowledge ;)_

 **Lena:** _I almost feel sorry that there are no lasers in the film now. I should do a science-fiction film with Ruby. I think she’d love it_

 **Kara:** _I would, too :)_

 **Lena:** _Kara?_

 **Kara:** _Lena?_

 **Lena:** _I’m really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow_

 **Lena:** _:)_

 **Lena:** _I’ve made a reservation at Korinthos – I hope you like Greek food?_

 **Kara:** _I do!_

Actually, Kara hadn’t a single clue whether she liked Greek food or not. She resolved to look up the menu just to make sure that there would be something there that wasn’t salad, but Lena was typing again.

 **Lena:** _I can’t wait to see you :) the reservation is at 7pm. See you then?_

 **Kara:** _See you then, Lena!! :D_

Kara spent the rest of her workday grinning, and when Alex came home late in the evening to find Kara lying on the sofa with a book, she was still smiling.

 

* * * * *

 

By 6pm Monday, the inner peace that had come from their text message exchange had vanished. With the cab due in half an hour, Kara was in the middle of what she thought was probably the biggest flap or panic of her life. Telling herself that she’d been on dates before didn’t help. She had always been nervous before first dates, but this seemed different somehow. It wasn’t because Lena was famous, although she was. It wasn’t because Lena was beyond intelligent, although of course she was. It wasn’t because Lena was quite possibly the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet… Kara swallowed. She was.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, couldn’t be absolutely sure, but it could have been the moment that she’d seen Lena with no shoes on, standing at the bottom of her stairs. Or the way she’d looked curled up on Kara’s sofa, soft and comfortable. Or the jittery way she’d fiddled with her hands in the hotel during the fiasco of an interview.

Whatever it was, the truth of the matter was, Kara was nervous.

She’d tried on several dresses and discarded every one of them. None of them seemed appropriate for the restaurant; Kara had googled it the night before, and aside from the fact that the prices weren’t mentioned on the website (which… really?!), she had discovered that it was a highly exclusive restaurant and the waiting lists were months long. Lena had managed to wangle one in no time at all, which didn’t surprise Kara at all, but at the same time, didn’t leave her any time to go out and buy something.

She briefly considered raiding Alex’s closet, but then immediately vetoed the idea when she realized she would show up looking like either an undercover navy seal or an extra on Grey’s Anatomy.

Eventually, Kara decided simplicity was best. She pulled out another A-line dress she owned. This one was ivory, with an open back and fitted at the waist, with slits on the sides over her hips which showed off the curves of her waist. Kara wasn’t vain, but she knew she had a nice figure, and this dress certainly drew the eye. Her hair was blow-dried, back combed and put into a half-twist at the back of her head. She pulled on her strappy high-heeled sandals and stepped back to check out the effect in the mirror, pleased with what she saw.

She hoped Lena would be just as pleased, and that thought made her palms start to sweat again.

 

* * * * *

 

When she’d climbed rather ungracefully out of the cab outside the restaurant, unused to the heels, Kara swallowed her apprehension at just how expensive the restaurant looked, and pushed open the door. The host, with a nametag that read Kassandra, looked up at her with a smile as she approached.

“Good evening ma’am,” she stated in a friendly voice, her melodic Greek accent shining through. “Do you have a reservation?”

Kara squeezed her clutch a little too tightly in her sudden confusion. She had no idea under what name Lena would’ve made the reservation. Kassandra gave her a quizzical look, and Kara stuttered for a second before remembering the name Alex had shouted at her before she'd gone to the hotel, and then promptly forgotten all about. "Um, I think it’s under Einstein?”

Kassandra looked down the list. “Ah yes,” she said, much to Kara’s relief. “The other party hasn’t arrived yet. Would you like to wait at the bar or be taken to your table?”

Although the restaurant was dimly lit with warm colors, yellow, orange and red, and the tables and booths were few and far between, Kara figured that Lena would prefer to go as unnoticed as possible, so she opted for the table.

“Very good ma’am. Just this way,” and she was led towards the back corner of the restaurant and to a table which was secluded by an a rather large plant in a white and blue pot. Assuring her that she would bring over some water and olives momentarily, Kassandra left her in peace.

Kara used the time she was alone to observe the restaurant. There was gentle music in the background that sounded appropriately Greek, although she couldn’t identify the instruments. There were wooden trellises along some of the walls and part of the ceiling, vines and some kind of ivy growing across them. The walls were a burnt orange color, and the light combined with the walls made Kara feel like she was sitting in the middle of a sunset. It was instantly relaxing.

She wasn’t waiting long before she felt the air change, and she looked up to see Lena walk in. Kara’s stomach swooped low and she wiped her hands as surreptitiously on the tablecloth as she could as she walked Lena gracefully approach. She was wearing a deep green asymmetrical dress that hung off one shoulder, leaving the other bare. There was a split that went no higher than her knee, and she had more of her devastating heels on. Her hair was swept up on one side, but tumbled down in soft waves across her bare shoulder. Her eyes were smoky, and as they landed on Kara as she stood up to greet her, they moved down her body like a caress, and Kara shivered.

“Kara,” Lena greeted, putting one hand on Kara’s waist as she kissed her cheek. One of Lena’s fingers came up against Kara’s skin through the slit in her dress, and Lena gently caressed her for a moment. Kara thanked whichever god had made her pick that dress; it was already worth it. “You look beautiful. That’s definitely your color, it goes wonderfully with your hair. Thank you,” she added to Kassandra, who had pulled out her chair, and who looked a little starstruck despite trying her best not to. “Domaine Sigalas please, one bottle each of Nychteri and Aidani.” Kassandra nodded, and vanished.

“Hi Lena,” Kara breathed. “That dress on you is… wow. I’m really glad there’s no coffee around or I’d feel compelled to throw some at you.”

Lena chuckled. “You’re really going to have to let that one go, Kara. This dress is by the same designer though, so don’t get any ideas when the wine arrives.”

Kara smiled. “So, I have to confess. I actually don’t know Greek food very well, other than that there are a lot of salads. And olives,” and Lena laughed at the apprehensive look on Kara’s face.

“What is it you eat normally, Kara? On a day to day basis,” she questioned, picking up the menu and passing it to Kara.

“You know, pizza, pasta, potstickers, pastries, pancakes… uh, p-chocolate-” Kara listed off, counting on her fingers.

“I don’t think chocolate begins with a p, Kara,” Lena commented, as the waiter appeared and poured their wine.

“It does if you put it in pastries,” Kara argued back, humor lacing her words.

Lena picked up her own menu and swept her eyes over it. “I suppose I can’t argue with that! Um, if you don’t know much about Greek food, do you want me to order for us both?” Lena looked up at Kara suddenly. “Or would you rather go somewhere else? Because I can-”

“Oh no, Lena, this place looks great. I love basically all food. Food is an adventure into somewhere I’ve never been, so,” she gestured at the menu, “have at it! I’m not allergic to anything.”

Lena beamed at her and beckoned the waiter over, ordering several starters, three main courses, and a sharing platter of meats, cheeses, and extra olives.

Picking up her glass of wine, Kara held it up to Lena, who smiled and gently touched her glass to Kara’s before taking a sip. The wine was delicious.

“So, Lena,” she started, and waited until green eyes met hers. “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Well. I had hoped I was on a date with a beautiful woman, but with lines like that, I’m not sure she’s at all serious about it. Do you think I was sending the wrong messages?”

“Oh, no. I think she understood the message just fine,” Kara replied, taking another sip of her wine.

Lena raised her left eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Yup,” Kara choked out. That eyebrow shouldn’t be allowed.

The waiter arrived with their starters. He laid them all out on the table, and Lena spent the next minute or so pointing out each of the starters to Kara. Spanakopita, koulouri bread, skordalya, taramas, and feta cheese. Kara was pretty sure she couldn’t have pronounced those, but they chatted easily about their last few days while they tried each dish.

Lena told Kara about the chat show that she’d filmed on Saturday night, and the breakfast kids show segment she’d done Sunday morning where people had made her eat all sorts of gross concoctions for laughs, stating that she didn’t think she could ever look at parsley the same ever again. Kara told Lena about her weekend and the help that she offered to people who needed it, especially on the run-up to Pride. Speaking of…

“So I, um, I, ahem!” Kara cleared her throat. Lena gave her a slightly concerned look.

“Are you alright?” she asked, with a slight smile.

“Um-” Kara coughed. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Lena replied, now looking a little worried.

“I googled you,” Kara started off. A look crossed over Lena’s face that Kara couldn’t interpret, but it wasn’t a good look, and she scrambled a little to recover. “No, I don’t mean for anything _weird_ ,” Kara said, and then passed her hand over her face in frustration. She was definitely messing this up. “ _Not_ that I think you’ve done anything weird-”

“Kara,” Lena said, putting her hand on top of Kara’s. “Calm down and ask whatever it is you want to.” Her hand felt warm on top of Kara’s, and she took comfort from it.

“Yeah, but see, it’s kind of a private question,” she said.

“If I don’t want to answer it, Kara, I won’t,” Lena replied simply, leaning back in her seat and folding her arms across her chest.

Kara blew out a breath. “Okay. It was after last week when you were at my house and I just noticed that you’re quite… that you’re quite private-”

Just then, two waiters came over. One cleared their starters, and the other placed down the main courses. “King prawn saganaki, orzo pasta giouvetsi, and black truffle chicken.” Kara thanked them, and they left swiftly.

Lena continued to silently look at her, before she quietly cleared her throat and reached her hand back across the table, palm up. Kara rested her own in it, and Lena squeezed her fingers.

“You’re right. I try to keep as much of my private life just that, at least, as far as I can within my own control,” Lena said softly.

“And that’s totally fine, like, absolutely fine, and I’d be the same in your position. But,” Kara plowed on, “I didn’t see any mention of you ever… um, of you ever dating a woman,” she finally burst out as quietly as she could, feeling the heat rise uncontrollably on her cheeks. She chanced a look at Lena, who had a carefully blank expression on her face, and Kara worried that she’d put her foot in it. Both feet, maybe. And half an arm.

Lena gave her a contemplative look for a moment, before a smile split her face. Kara huffed out a nervous laugh, feeling more than a little confused. “Are you asking whether I’ve ever been in a relationship with a woman?” Lena asked in a low voice that did something very pleasant to Kara’s body.

“I- yes, I suppose that’s what I’m asking,” Kara replied, holding onto Lena’s hand, the skin soft beneath her fingers.

“Okay, I’m not surprised you’ve asked, if I’m honest,” Lena replied. “But I can set your mind at ease. While I may not be… let’s say, loud about it, I date women, exclusively. However, I choose to keep my relationships private for a reason. It’s nobody’s business but mine and my partner’s.”

Kara felt a wave of relief wash over her. “I’m sorry to have asked-” she started.

“It’s quite alright. I can understand why you asked. It was a perfectly reasonable question.” Lena paused. “That being said,” she continued in a mischievous voice that held a hint of humor, “I _did_ kiss you in your hallway. I thought I’d actually been rather brazen by saying that I wanted to see you alone, but perhaps I wasn’t quite clear enough-”

Kara swallowed. The look Lena was giving her made her throat feel dry as all the moisture shot elsewhere in her body. “You, Kara Danvers, are lovely. You’re kind, and you make me feel comfortable, and… I could tell that you were checking up on me at games night on Friday, and it made me feel.. warm. I was pretty happy when we held hands; I thought that was pretty obvious as well.” Lena fiddled with her fork before looking back up at Kara. “Although evidently I somehow need to make it even clearer. So, let’s lay this on the table. I am interested, very interested, in the lovely woman sitting opposite me, and that dress she’s wearing,” Lena swirled her finger around in Kara’s direction, “makes her look even more beautiful than I’ve yet seen her.”

“Lena,” Kara started, a blush rising in her cheeks.

“You should know that I was nervous about tonight,” Lena stated, a vulnerable look crossing her face so quickly that Kara barely recognized it before it was replaced with the quietly confident expression that Lena’s face usually sported. “But I wanted to be near you, to be _with_ you. I have precious few people in my life who look at me like I’m someone worth being around for _me_ , Kara. Everyone always wants something from me. But you’re different… the way you look at me… I think that it’s the same way I look at you. And I don’t remember the last time that someone’s smile took up the majority of my thoughts.”

“You’re all I’ve been able to think about,” Kara said, thrilled at the words Lena was saying.

The smile that spread across Lena’s face then was effulgent. “I am?” she asked, sounding elated.

Kara couldn’t help it. She leaned across the table and tucked some hair behind Lena’s ear, and rested her hand on her cheek. Lena leaned her face into Kara’s palm and closed her eyes. Kara’s heart soared, and she stroked her thumb over Lena’s cheekbone.

“You’re actually quite the sap, aren’t you? And, Lena?” she murmured.

“Mm?”

“The food’s going to get cold.”

 

* * * * *

 

After that, all the slight heaviness that had descended over their table dissolved, and Lena’s sultry bravado seemed to bounce back. They both laughed often as they shared stories about their lives. Kara told Lena about when she had moved to New York and met Alex, and all about her adoption. She confided to Lena, in all its embarrassing glory, the time she had tried to learn to drive Eliza’s car without her permission and sent it careering down a hill, diving out of it just before it crashed into a tree, and breaking her left arm in three places.

In return, Lena told her stories about the boarding school in Ireland, how annoying it was to be the one who always had an accent whether she was living in either the US or Ireland, and all the practical jokes they’d played on the unsuspecting teachers. Kara quickly discovered that she loved to hear about Lena’s rebellious phase, dying her hair “as green as this dress, Kara!” and getting more piercings than she knew what to do with.

Throughout the evening, Lena had relaxed more and more into Kara’s presence, and Kara felt a thrill of satisfaction that she was able to make Lena laugh as much as she did. It didn’t feel like they were in the most exclusive Greek restaurant in the whole state, eating food that probably cost more than her rent; it felt like they were at Kara’s favorite local gay bar. Thanks to the seclusion of their table, nobody disturbed them other than the waiters when they came to clear the main courses away. Kara had eaten most of them, leaving Lena to comment that she was jealous of Kara’s “bottomless pit” of a stomach.

When the waiter offered dessert, Lena was about to decline when Kara burst out, “is there chocolate cake?” momentarily forgetting that they were in a Greek restaurant and looking embarrassed. To her delight though, there was indeed chocolate cake on the specials dessert menu, so they ordered one to share. When it arrived, it was a huge slab of gooey chocolate mess.

Lena picked up her fork. “So,” she said, sliding the fork through the cake and taking a bite. “Oh, that’s _sinful_ ,” she whispered, wiping her thumb across the corner of her mouth and licking it clean. Kara swallowed any words she was about to say as her gaze fell upon Lena, flitting down to her tongue, and then back up, suddenly feeling the air thicken around them. Lena’s green eyes had darkened considerably as she looked right back at Kara. Looking back down, she cut another piece of chocolate cake and held it out to Kara, a challenge in her eyes.

Kara met her eyes, and brought her hand up to enclose Lena’s, her skin feeling soft under hers. She leaned forward and took the cake off the fork slowly, never looking away from the emerald eyes that held hers so boldly. She saw Lena swallow, felt her hand shake a little in hers, then leaned back in her seat, chewing the cake.

“Kara,” Lena said huskily.

“Yes, Miss Luthor?”

Lena grumbled impatiently under her breath. “I’m full.”

“Oh?” Kara asked, her voice low.

“Yes.” Lena pulled her cell out of her clutch bag, text her driver, waved the waiter over and asked for the bill. When he came back only a few seconds later, Lena handed over a black Amex card, holding her hand up against Kara’s protests, and paid for their meal. They both thanked the waiters, and Kara followed Lena out, trying to keep her eyes above her waistline.

The air was much cooler outside of the restaurant, and Lena linked her arm with Kara’s as Lena indicated the direction they should walk towards the car. The street was very quiet, surprisingly, for New York; only one person shared the street with them for some distance. Although, Kara thought, they were in a very exclusive neighborhood. She could practically see the money melting from the buildings they passed.

Neither Kara nor Lena spoke as they walked, but where Lena’s arm touched Kara’s, her skin felt hot despite the cool breeze. Lena brought her other hand up to rest it on Kara’s forearm, and stroked her fingers up and down it, again and again, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

When they reached the car and climbed in, they still didn’t speak. Kara reclined against the seat and Lena leaned against her, taking her hand and tracing patterns into her palm. She was driving Kara crazy in the best way, and in turn, she rested her spare hand on Lena’s knee, rubbing gentle circles into it with her thumb. Lena sighed, her green eyes turning hazy as she looked at Kara. Kara didn’t think she’d ever seen such a mesmerizing eye color, and she brought her hand up to touch the scar at the corner of Lena’s eye.

“How did you get this?”

Lena brought her hand up to cover Kara’s. “It was a lab accident when I was maybe sixteen,” she said quietly. “I had mixed some volatile, although thankfully non-corrosive chemicals, and I got distracted and left them on the burner too long. The whole beaker shattered and a large piece of glass came up and got stuck there. It wasn’t a clean cut, so it left a scar. It was… lucky I was wearing lab googles. I was brushing glass out of my hair.”

“Ouch,” Kara breathed, and then leaned up to brush her lips over the small mark, her hand over the other side of Lena’s face. Lena sighed again, deeper this time, and linked her fingers with Kara’s.

“Kara…”

“Yes?”

Lena let go of Kara’s hands, and ran her left hand up Kara’s arm, across her collarbone, and then up the side of her neck, before pushing it up into Kara’s hair and gently tangling her fingers in it. Kara’s body felt like it was on fire, she sensations making all her nerves tingle. Lena, being the smaller of the two even sitting down, looked up into Kara’s eyes. Her green eyes were darker than Kara had ever seen them, her lips were slightly parted, and her tongue licked her bottom lip as she looked at Kara’s own. Kara ran her fingertips along her jawline, smiling as Lena shivered.

The first brush of Lena’s lips against Kara’s was so very much softer than Kara had been expecting. Lena pulled back after scant seconds, but Kara chased her, pressing their lips together again, and Lena groaned against Kara’s mouth. Their shy hesitancy turned into slow, open-mouthed kisses, Lena’s soft lips moving against Kara’s with unexpected reverence. Like she was to be treasured.

“I have wanted to do this all night,” Lena whispered against Kara’s skin as she moved to kiss her cheek before coming back to her lips. With Lena’s hands on either side of her face, a warm, happy feeling washed over her, and she felt like... like everything suddenly felt right, and everything was true. This moment, right here? With Lena groaning softly as she tasted Kara on her tongue for the first time? This moment right here was perfect. Lena herself tasted rich, like raspberries and dark chocolate, and Kara nipped Lena’s bottom lip, eliciting a moan from the brunette. Kara dug her hands into Lena’s silky dark hair and pulled her closer. She felt Lena smile against her lips as they breathed against each other, both slightly out of breath, both unwilling to let go of each other. Kara leaned in and kissed Lena once more, twice, three times, then leaned back and sighed.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you curled up on my sofa,” Kara murmured, still with her eyes closed, so she missed Lena blushing.

“Could you be obliging just for one second,” Lena muttered in a thick voice, “and kiss me again?”

Ten minutes later, they broke apart. Lena’s hair was out of its elegant sweep, hanging tousled around her face, and her eyes were dark and heavy. Kara watched as she licked her lips, and she felt all her blood rush south. She didn’t think she’d ever seen a more alluring sight in her life as Lena Luthor looking thoroughly disheveled.

The car slowed, and Kara looked out, not recognizing her street.

“We’re at my hotel,” Lena supplied, not taking her eyes off Kara’s face. “I… I’m not ready for the night to end, Kara. Do you- I mean, would you like to come up? Just to- to talk, if- maybe have a drink? I have to fly to Tokyo tomorrow afternoon for a week, and then I’m filming in Romania for a month, but I’d- I’d like to… to…” and she groaned, before kissing Kara again, pushing her tongue into Kara’s mouth and pulling herself as tightly against Kara’s body as she could in their restrictive dresses. Kara tightened her grip in Lena’s dark hair in response, and if the little moan Lena let out was any indication, she liked it.

They came up for air a few minutes later, both looking distinctly more rumpled than they had when they’d got in the car. Lena smoothed her hair down and brushed her dress as flat as it could go, then smiled and wiped some lipstick from the corner of Kara’s mouth.

“Are you going to…” she asked, shyness in her voice now evident where it hadn’t been for the last hour.

“As if there was a universe where I wouldn’t say yes,” Kara grinned, and Lena sent her a glittering smile as she opened the door. Lena slipped her hand into Kara’s as they walked through the hotel doors and headed towards the lift, Lena leaning against Kara. Kara felt like everyone could see the haze of desire she now found herself in.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a female shouting. “Hey, Lena!”

Lena turned, her face paling at whoever it was she saw, and letting go of Kara’s hand. Kara turned around, but she didn’t recognize anyone.

The next thing she knew, a woman had appeared as if out of nowhere, slinking up to Lena; a figure-hugging red dress showing off all her curves, and a snake tattoo curling around various parts of her body. Neither Kara nor Lena had a chance to react before the woman pulled Lena in by her waist and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Kara took a step backward in shock. Lena didn’t push the woman off her, her hands frozen at her sides.

“Lena, honey,” the woman said, looking Kara up and down before commenting, “I see you’ve traded down.”

“Excuse me-” Kara burst out.

“Veronica. What are you doing here?” Lena said, coldness creeping into her tone.

“I came to surprise my girlfriend, what do you think?” the woman, Veronica, commented nonchalantly, trailing a finger down Lena’s upper arm.

Kara felt like she’d been sucker-punched.

“Lena?” she asked, her eyes flitting between the two women.

“Veronica, you can’t just show up here out of the blue! And you are _not_ my girlfriend,” Lena stated angrily, as if Kara hadn’t spoken.

“You know you’re not really mad at me,” Veronica said lazily. “You never are.”

“I’m plenty angry now,” Lena spat out.

Kara didn't know what to do. She didn't want to get involved, but neither did she want to do nothing. “Lena, should I-”

“I’m sorry Kara, but could you leave me to deal with this please?” Lena said, the dismissal clear in her voice. Then she flinched, as if she’d heard how harsh she sounded, and turned to Kara with an apology in her eyes. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to… sort this out.”

Lena stepped towards her, but Kara backed away, looking at giving Veronica a sidelong look, and the smug expression on her face made Kara want to knock it right off. She didn’t see the distraught look in Lena’s eyes, nor the way Lena reached for her, her hand finding nothing but air.

Kara nodded once, and then again. “Right. I’ll just- I’ll just go. I’ll see you around, Lena,” she said, before leaving as quickly as she could. She didn’t look back, not wanting Lena nor Veronica to see the frustrated tears that had welled up in her eyes.

Not trusting her voice enough to call a cab, she walked as quickly as she could to the nearest subway station, and spent the journey staring blindly out of the window. She didn’t see the stares the other passengers gave her, overdressed as she was for this journey.

When she got home, she went straight upstairs, changed into the coziest pair of pajamas that she owned, and found Alex and Maggie in the lounge. They were watching Independence Day, and Kara joined them, handing them each a tub of ice cream. She inserted herself as deeply into the armchair as she could, and by the time Alex had loudly performed the rousing but cheesy speech standing up on the sofa using her spoon as a microphone, Maggie cheering along, Kara had almost, _almost_ forced herself to stop thinking about Lena.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! The creators of Notting Hill dictated that I had to do this. But don't worry yourselves too much because SUPERCORP ENDGAME!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara have a chat, and Kara needs a hug.

Tuesday was Kara’s day off work, which was lucky, because she had a lot of energy and _thoughts_ she needed to burn off before she spent any part of today doing anything productive. Alex had headed off not long after Kara had arrived home last night to cover a few hours at the hospital due to a colleague having to head up to the maternity ward where his wife was giving birth early.

Which meant that Kara could turn up her music as loud as she wanted without bothering Alex.

Which _also_ meant that Kara spent half an hour ducking and weaving around the new boxing bag, landing punch after punch, and if she happened to occasionally picture Veronica’s face on the bag as she threw her fists around, what of it? It’s not like she was going to do it for real.

Once her arms felt like they were too jellied out to punch the bag anymore, she hit the stair climber, and then, she ran. She ran, and ran, and ran, until the sweat was pouring down her face, her feet pounding the treadmill to the beat of whatever song happened to blast out of her iPod sound deck. Currently she was listening to Halestorm, which Alex must’ve put on there, which is perhaps why she didn’t hear Alex shouting her name until the song ended.

Startled, Kara jumped and set her feet on the side of the treadmill, turning around to look at Alex, who turned the music down and rolled her eyes.

“Can you hear me? Or have you gone deaf from the volume you’ve had this at?” Alex asked.

“Sorry, I was just in the zone, you know?” Kara replied, waving her arm vaguely at the machines around her.

“It’s 11am,” Alex stated flatly. “I’ve been home for over an hour, and I know you like to start early, _and_ ,” she added, her voice rising, “I know you run when you’re either pissed off or upset.” Alex folded her arms. “Which is it?”

Kara blew out a breath and hopped off the treadmill, grabbed her gym towel, and wiped her face and arms with it before looking up and meeting Alex’s eyes.

“Can we go get pancakes?” she asked in a hopeful voice.

“Sure.”

 

* * * * *

 

After Kara had a very hot shower, she and Alex headed out and down the block until they arrived at one of Eliza’s diners, the one at which Kara had suggested they specialize in serving all-day breakfasts due to the amount of small offices that seemed to be taking up residence in the flats all around them. It had seemed to work, because the diner did a roaring trade. It turned out that essentially everybody loved pancakes, fried food, and waffles no matter what time of day it was.

As they entered, Kara waved at the waitress Zelda, who was standing behind the bar and gossiping with William, one of the chefs. William was hopelessly in love with Zelda, who either hadn’t noticed or was happy to continue flirting with him without taking it to the next level. Alex thought that Zelda was stringing him along, but privately, Kara thought that she was just actually very shy. Zelda waved back and indicated the corner booth next to the window overlooking the street, which was Alex’s favorite spot.

Kara slid into the booth, grinning at Alex who insisted on wiping the table free of the almost invisible crumbs that nobody but Alex would’ve noticed. Maybe Lena would’ve. _Damn. Not right now._

Zelda came over to take their order (two maple-syrup covered waffles for Alex, two large stacks of maple-syrup covered pancakes for Kara, along with a large Oreo milkshake, and a waffle with chocolate ice cream for dessert). Alex, long-since used to Kara’s voracious appetite, didn’t even pretend to be shocked or nauseated any more.

What she did do, though, while Kara was drinking her Oreo milkshake like it was about to be taken away from her, was get straight to the point.

“What was all that running for?”

Kara looked up, sipped her milkshake a little slower, and then sighed deeply into her pancakes. Cutting some of them up into very large bite-sized pieces, she stalled a little, knowing Alex would wait her out. And she did.

A minute later, Kara opened her mouth.

“It’s Lena.”

“I figured as much. It doesn’t take super-vision to notice the way you were looking at her on Friday night,” Alex remarked, scooping some syrup up with a piece of waffle, before popping it into her mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “Or the way she was looking at you, to be honest. You two were really adorable, sneaking looks at each other every ten seconds. Kara,” she said, putting her fork down at the sight of Kara’s distressed face. “Okay. _What_ about Lena?”

Kara figured that at this point, considering that they’d gone on a public date last night where anyone could’ve seen them, even if she didn’t think anyone had, and given that Alex seemed to have noticed her rather obvious mooning over Lena on Friday, it would be okay to talk to Alex. Alex was her sister, and she trusted her to keep her mouth shut.

“She kissed me-” she burst out.

“I see,” Alex said, drawing out the second word with a smirk. “That’s great! …that’s… not great? You don’t seem very happy about it.”

“No, I was, I mean, I am, I- I mean,” and here Kara cursed in such a way to make even Alex raise her eyebrows. “Okay. You can’t tell anyone this, I mean it. Technically we’ve kissed twice. You know when I told you I spilled my coffee on her after she came to the bookstore? I was all in a muddle because she’d come in and she’d been slightly flirty, I guess, and I wasn’t sure what she meant. So I was all flustered and then I tipped the coffee.”

Alex nodded, and didn’t even try to interrupt, for which Kara was grateful.

“After I did that, she came back to the house. I told you most of it, but actually, she was there for longer than I told all you guys. Like, I sent her upstairs to change into some of my clothes and she came back downstairs looking like a regular- well I mean, she’s anything but regular, have you seen her _face_?”

Alex smiled slightly, and waved at Kara to continue her story. “I think the whole world has seen that she’s not exactly off-the-rack material, Kara.”

“But that’s exactly _it_ , Alex. She _is_. She came down the stairs without her shoes on, with barely any makeup still on, and she looked just like any one of us would if we were going to slob out on the sofa watching Netflix all afternoon. She looked… adorable. I mean, she’s just a normal person with an abnormal family and a job where everyone stares at her, and judges her.”

“Her brother is so fucked-up,” Alex commented.

“He is. And she got hurt by association. I mean, anyway, she came down the stairs like that and she was all curled up on the sofa and I just… um, I haven’t felt like that in a long- I mean, it was just… nice, you know? Like obviously she wasn’t giving much away because I was this total klutz who spilled a huge cup of very hot coffee over her really expensive dress and she was in a stranger’s house but… but she was- she was so nice. And then on her way out she kissed me.”

Alex dropped the napkin on her plate, leaned back in the booth, and folded her arms. “She kissed you in our house? Before games night and the interviews at the hotel and everything else?”

“Yup. I mean, I haven’t told anyone that, she asked me not to. So don’t tell anyone, even Maggie. But then she called and that whole hotel thing happened and she was really sweet about everything and she was so nice and just gave me her phone number without even having me checked with her security team and-” Kara paused to take a breath. “She said she just wanted to spend more time with me, get to know me better. And I would’ve thought it was just as a friend if it wasn’t for the fact she’d kissed me in the hallway.”

“But?”

“But then before we got to Winn’s place, she was kind of… flirty. And then at games night, she was so… I don’t even know,” Kara said, shaking her hands out and then passing them both over her face. “You said she was looking at me?”

“Let me put it to you this way,” Alex said in a confidential tone that was laced with humor. “Maggie and I placed a bet with each other over who would kiss who first. I guess Maggie won, technically, if Lena kissed you in the hallway. But the point is,” Alex took one of Kara’s hands in hers and squeezed it gently but firmly, her touch grounding Kara in the way that Alex had always been able to do ever since they’d met, “I was her partner in Articulate. But I’m pretty sure that half the answers she couldn’t get were more to do with the fact that she was distracted than the thought that she didn’t know the answers.”

Kara inhaled and held her breath before blowing it out in an attempt to calm herself further. “You mean she was distracted… by me?”

“For sure. She looks at you the same way that I used to look at Maggie before I had the courage to ask her out. Or, not the same way. It was somehow… more. She stumbled over her words and I don’t think it was the fault of the excellent scotch she brought.”

Kara hid her face in her hands. “And then yesterday we went on a date, and she was so open and beautiful, and so vulnerable, Alex, you know how much of a sucker I am for an honest woman with a soft heart, and it was all going _so well_ , and in the car we… until we got back to her hotel and some super-rude woman called Veronica, I think she was Lena’s ex, ambushed us in the lobby and kissed Lena right on the mouth, and Lena sent me away so she could deal with her.”

Alex was silent for so long that Kara looked at her from between her fingers, before grabbing her milkshake and dredging the crumbs of Oreos out of the bottom with her straw.

“To be fair,” Alex began, leaning forward to tap the bottom of the milkshake jug to make sure that she had all of Kara’s attention, “if an ex of mine had shown up out of the blue and thrown a bucket of freezing water over my date and I, I would want to get that dealt with as well. There’s obviously something more going on there than what it looks like on the surface, and I know you like Lena- yes, I know you like her,” Alex added at Kara’s sad face, “but I think you should let her sort this out. I obviously don’t know Lena very well and I don’t know who Veronica is, but if Lena needs to sort it out, then she needs to sort it out. And… you need to let her.”

Kara stared despondently at the rest of her pancakes, pushing the waffles away from her. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

The look on Alex’s face was sympathetic. “I’m sorry, Kara. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear.”

“No, no, you’re right actually. And she’s going to be out of the country now anyway. I think it’s probably for the best that we… give this some time. And let her work it out, as you said.”

“Are you okay?” Alex asked, her forehead wrinkling in concern.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be okay. All I’ve got to do now is not to think about Lena,” she said flatly, forcing a smile she didn’t feel to her face. It looked more like a grimace.

“Kara-”

“It’s okay, Alex. I know you’re right. I’m just sad and want to go home, okay?” and with that, Kara waved Zelda over for the check.

 

* * * * *

 

Four days passed with Kara in the biggest funk she’d been in for a while. Despite the conversation with Alex about giving Lena some space to deal with the whole Veronica situation, and despite not having known Lena for very long at all, Kara was still upset. Every morning, she got up and ran ten miles on the treadmill before going to work. Wednesday had been unexpectedly quiet, and she’d sent Winn home early, before spending the day building a new display cabinet for Pride.

She tried really hard not to think about Lena. She knew she was in Tokyo at the moment, and the time zone difference was ridiculous to the point that she wasn’t expecting to hear from her at all. Kara really wanted to text her, really wanted to hear her voice, but she wanted Lena to be the one to reach out, if she was so inclined.

Lena didn’t contact her. Kara tried not to take that as a comment on her personality, company, or even on her kissing skills. She felt like she’d genuinely connected with Lena, and truly connecting with people wasn’t something Kara did very often. She was open and honest, sure, but there was always that part of her that held herself back, not wanting to get her heart broken. She knew she was a sensitive old soul at heart, eager to please and therefore easy to take advantage of, and she just… didn’t want to risk it. Not for just anyone.

But then, of all the bookshops in the entire city of New York, Lena had walked straight into hers. And then Kara had walked straight into her. And the way her heart pounded every time she thought of Lena, sometimes she felt like she was still crashing into her.

It wasn’t until 11pm on Friday night that anything happened.

Kara was in the bath; Alex had suggested it to her, thinking it would relax her. So, she’d lit several candles, switched the radio to a classical music station on a low volume, and poured herself a large glass of wine. Her phone was face-down on the side, and her nose in a book that was becoming more and more wrinkly the longer she spent soaking herself. Every now and again, she topped up the hot water, loving the way that her muscles felt like they were getting heavier and heavier.

It was one of the things she and Alex had indulged in after a few years of living together. Alex’s bathroom had a huge double shower, but Kara got the bath. It was quite deep, longer than average, and certainly big enough for two people to easily sit with one at each end. Tonight though, Kara was stretched out and alone.

That is, until her cell started to ring. She dropped her book on the bath tray, annoyed at whoever it was calling so late. Wiping her hand on a small towel, she looked at the display.

_Lena._

Kara choked on air, and she watched the cell ring in her hand for a few seconds. Suddenly, Kara remembered that Lena would be calling from Tokyo, and answered the call.

“Hello?” _Oh, smooth. As if you couldn't see her name on your screen._

_“Hi, Kara?”_ Lena’s voice asked, sounding very far away and as if she was at the end of a long tunnel.

“Yeah, it’s me. Hi, Lena,” Kara replied, feeling her heart thud heavily in her chest. Perhaps having a conversation with Lena while she was in a very hot bath wasn't the best idea.

There was silence on the other end, and Kara didn’t want to fill the silence, so she shifted in the bath, the water sloshing everywhere, and waited until Lena spoke again.

_“Are you in the bath?”_ Lena asked, in a tone that suggested that she quite liked the idea.

Kara wasn’t in the mood and her voice came out sharper than she intended. “Yes, but really, Le-”

_“I- um,”_ Lena faltered at the sound of Kara’s voice. _“Kara, I’m so sorry for what happened the other night with Veronica. I had no idea she was going to be there,”_ Lena said very quickly, as if she was afraid Kara was going to hang up on her. As if that was something Kara would do. And then she realized that Lena didn’t really know her very well at all, the treacherous _yet_ tacking itself onto the end of the sentence without Kara’s permission, and she felt annoyed at herself for it.

Lena, obviously not liking the silence, suddenly started to speak again. The line was so quiet that Kara struggled to hear her, pressing the phone close to hear ear. “ _She wanted to rekindle things. I have no interest in that, Kara, really. The relationship fell apart for a reason and that reason hasn’t changed. She’s still a friend, but-_ ” and now the line went so quiet that she couldn’t hear Lena speaking at all.

“Lena? Are you there? The line is awful,” Kara almost shouted.

_“-after you left.”_

“What? Lena, I really can’t hear you very well,” Kara said, clutching the phone tightly in her hand.

There was more silence, and then, _“…Veronica,”_ Lena said, her voice now sounding loud and clear, as if she’d moved. _“She stayed for an hour after you left. Kara, there’s some history there that’s-”_

“That’s great, Lena. Is this you telling me you worked it out with her?” Kara asked flatly, feeling childish, but sadder and more hurt than she thought she had a right to after such a short time knowing the beautiful brunette.

_“No, no!_ ” Lena exclaimed, panic edging her tone. _“She had some… she wanted to try to work things out-”_

“Well,” Kara interrupted sullenly, feeling irritated. The last thing she really wanted to be talking about right now was the damned Veronica. “I’m not sure exactly what you want me to say to that,” Kara said, pinching the bridge of her nose as if that would help. “I spoke to Alex, she said I needed to give you some time. I agree with her, so… so, Lena, I’m sorry, but I think I should go.”

_“I’m… Kara, I’m sorry,”_ Lena’s regretful voice sounded so close now, as if she was holding her cell as tightly as Kara was holding hers. Kara could almost picture her, dark hair falling across her face, her mouth downturned, green eyes sad.

“It’s okay,” Kara murmured, and Lena scoffed in her ear, knowing a lie when she heard it. “Alright, it’s not okay. I’m upset and hurt, Lena. We had such a great time the other night, and this… it _sucks_. I’m sorry if I sound like a petulant child, but it does. _Suck_ , I mean.” Kara heaved a huge sigh. “And I just… I know you felt it too.” Kara did, too. So much.

_“I did,”_ Lena’s voice sounded thick, as if she was holding back tears. _“I do. I just needed to, need to… deal with her.”_

“Take your time, Lena,” Kara said, hating herself just a little bit by now. Why she was encouraging that, she had no idea. “Just… sort it out. And then maybe… maybe sometime, we can talk about it.”

_“Okay…”_ Lena said slowly, her voice wavering, but clearly sensing Kara wasn’t receptive to her right now. _“Oh, Kara, I really am sorry.”_ And the worst thing was, Kara knew she was. _“I wanted-”_

“I know, Lena. Just… take care, okay?”

_“…You too, darling,”_ Lena whispered, and then the call ended abruptly, as if Lena couldn’t bear it any longer.

Kara felt like the only way that call could’ve gone worse was if Veronica herself had joined in. She didn’t think she’d handled it well at all. In fact, despite her upset, she was annoyed at herself for being so immature. Lena hadn’t given her any real indication either in the hotel or on the phone that she also wanted to work things out with Veronica. She felt a little guilty that she hadn’t really given Lena a chance to explain herself.

But right now, she really didn’t care. Veronica had been rude to her, ambushed Lena, and interrupted what she was sure would’ve been an even lovelier night than the evening she’d already spent with Lena. Kara flipped her phone across the room, and sank underneath the bubbles.

 

* * * * *

 

The next month was… difficult, and what was worse was that it seemed to last forever. Pride was fast approaching, so Kara was kept very busy. She ran a few workshops through the bookstore, organised the tickets for the parade for their group, went to game nights and tried to pretend everything was normal.

By the end of their first game night, their whole group of friends knew almost as much as Alex did, bar the gentle kiss Lena had given her in the house and the rather less gentle kissing they’d done in the car. They did, however, know that she _like_ liked Lena, in Winn’s words. Even James had noticed the way she and Lena had looked at each other. Her despondency translated to everyone making as much effort as they could to help her drown her sorrows, which was great on the actual day, but so much worse the next day as her feelings and her nausea hit her like dually evil sledgehammers.

Even worse than the hangovers were the photos on the fronts of the gossip magazines that seemed to follow Kara everywhere she went. Photos of Lena on the set of the tv show it turned out she was guest-starring in for a season. It was a popular tv show about a cruise-ship running aground on an island, and the passengers being picked off one by one by a murderer. She looked beautiful in the washed-out clothes they had her wearing, dirt streaked across her face and forearms, and Kara was constantly reminded of the way Lena had looked at the bottom of her stairs, standing barefoot and vulnerable.

If Lena was ever on the front cover of any of the magazines sold in the stall near Candlelight Bookstore, Alex had taken to buying all the copies to make sure that Kara never saw them. Kara appreciated her efforts, but it still made her sad. She wasn’t, she felt, horrible enough to hope Lena was just as sad, but… sometimes, she kind of was.

 

* * * * *

 

A week after the phone call, she received a text from Lena that said nothing but _bottled water_. Kara had frowned at her cell and then ignored it, not wanting to start a conversation while she had no idea whether things with Veronica, whatever they were, had been resolved.

Two days after that, she received another message. This one read, _bars of soap. Definitely not liquid soap._ Kara ignored that message too.

Two weeks after Lena had called, Alex set her up on a date with a friend of Maggie’s called Stephanie. Kara wasn’t very interested in going out on a blind date, but went anyway, obliging Alex and making it look like she was trying. She had spent the evening being talked at by Stephanie, who was beautiful, but rather vapid, on the merits of being a social media influencer. Kara wasn’t quite sure what that was, but nodded politely regardless.

The next date Alex sent her on, Kara gamely giving it her best shot, was with a doctor she worked with at the hospital, Maria. She was funny, witty, smart, and chivalrous. But when they’d sat down at the table in the restaurant to order, and Kara had ordered the largest fillet steak they had, rare, Maria stated testily that meat was murder and then proceeded to lecture Kara on slaughterhouses. Hiding in the bathroom to get away from Maria, she glanced at her cell to find another message from Lena, sent an hour ago.

**Lena:** _large amounts of high-proof alcohol_

Kara frowned at the message for a few moments before she suddenly understood what Lena was doing. She was listing things that she would hoard in her bunker in the case of a zombie apocalypse. Despite herself, Kara felt her face break into the biggest smile for the last few weeks. Lena was a massive geek, and she kind of loved it. The short time they’d spent watching _the Walking Dead_ sailed straight back into the forefront of her mind, and she only hesitated a moment before bringing up the keyboard.

**Kara:** _a whole room of medical supplies_

To her surprise, her phone indicated that her message had been read immediately, as if Lena had been waiting with the message app open, watching for a response. The three dots appeared straight away underneath Kara’s message.

**Lena:** _:)_

**Lena:** _a library full of do-it-yourself books, medical textbooks, and photo albums_

**Kara:** _photo albums, eh?_

**Lena:** _we should never forget the people who are important to us_

And just like that, the tiny amount of progress that Kara’s treacherous little heart had made was erased.

 

* * * * *

 

Winn set Kara up on a date with one of Lyra’s friends who was visiting the city, but by the time she got there, her date, Danielle, was already having a drinking challenge with someone else, and Kara turned around and headed straight back home without even saying hello.

**Lena:** _duct tape_

 

* * * * *

 

On the day that Alex set her up on a blind date with another doctor friend of hers, Lena sent her another message.

**Lena:** _MREs. Loads of them. A whole room of them, in fact. They may taste disgusting after a while, but at least we wouldn’t have to worry about food for a long time_

Kara sent her regrets to her date before she’d even left home.

 

* * * * *

 

Once Pride had come and gone with far too much alcohol being drunk by all concerned, Kara was nursing her raging hangover by spending the next day in bed surrounded only by bottles of water, empty Chinese takeout boxes, and the remains of a fried breakfast from Eliza’s diner that Alex had very kindly gone to fetch for her. Her pillows had sticky, multicoloured, glittery patches splodged on them from the rainbows that had been painted on Kara’s face, and that she’d forgotten to remove before she’d fallen into bed. By the middle of the evening, she was beginning to feel more like herself, and had even cracked the curtains and the window to let some light into her by now very stuffy bedroom.

She forced herself to the bathroom at 8pm, had a cool shower, and marveled at the terrible state her skin was in before dragging her duvet downstairs and curling up on the sofa and turning on the TV, figuring a quiet hour of nature shows would help in some impossible way.

It was not to be, though. Just as she was settling down, the doorbell rang. Kara pulled the duvet over her head and tried to ignore it, but whoever it was persisted. She hadn’t ordered any more Chinese food; by the third time the delivery guy had come to her house that day, he had started giving her updates about her improved appearance and then asked her out. Kara had resolved to order her takeout from a different place next time.

There were a few moments of silence from the doorbell, and then it rang again. Kara turned the TV up a little more, hoping that if she just ignored them, they would eventually go away. The next minute, the buzzer rang continuously as if someone was leaning on it, and Kara flung the duvet off herself and stomped across the room and down the stairs.

“You’d better have a damn good reason for this!” she growled menacingly through the door as she twisted all the locks. Yanking the door open, she saw someone walking down the steps of her stoop towards the street with their hood up. _“Well?”_ she called out to the person’s retreating back.

Whoever they were turned around at the sound of Kara’s voice, huge sunglasses shielding half of their face. The long, silky dark hair hung loose, falling out of their hood, somewhat hid the sharp jawline Kara knew so well, and Kara felt her heart give a painful thud.

_“Lena?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone :D I promise our ladies will talk much more in the next chapter! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara talk things out.

_“Lena?”_ Kara gasped, staring at the figure in disbelief.

Lena smiled, but that smile vanished as quickly as it had arrived on her face. Kara could see that Lena didn’t look at all comfortable and, looking down, Kara could see that she was wringing her hands. Lena took a single hesitant step closer to the door, which seemed to be completely at odds to the way she had been hanging on the buzzer. It was almost as if, now that the door had been opened, Lena didn’t know what to do.

“Kara, hi. Um… would it be okay if I came in?” Lena asked, and she looked so small standing on Kara’s stoop, that despite her residual hurt, Kara couldn’t leave her standing there. She pulled the door fully open and stood aside, and Lena brushed past her gently as she entered, her perfume hanging in the air between them.

“You can go upstairs,” Kara said quietly. “Watch out for the bike.”

Lena pulled off her sunglasses and glanced at the bike, perhaps remembering how she’d tripped over it the last time she’d been here, before nodding and heading up the way Kara had indicated.

Kara closed the door, turned the locks, and stood with her forehead resting on the painted wood for a few seconds, before following Lena up.

Lena was standing in the middle of the room, close to the door of the lounge, an expensive-looking backpack Kara hadn’t noticed before at her feet. As Kara watched her, she pushed the hood off her head and ran her hands through her hair roughly, as if it was in the way of something. Kara leaned back against the kitchen worktop and waited Lena out.

Lena twisted her fingers together, looking nothing like the elegant woman she’d last seen in a hotel lobby over a month ago. She looked softer, but the longer Kara watched her, the more distressed Lena seemed to become, and Kara eventually pushed herself off the counter and directed Lena towards the sofa.

Lena toed off the trainers she had on, revealing pink running socks, and tucked her legs underneath her. “You must be wondering why I’m here,” Lena began, her voice wavering and apologetic.

“Little bit,” Kara replied, trying to remain as though she was unmoved, she failed. She was worried. “Are you alright? You seem… not yourself?”

“I’m sorry for- for just showing up here unannounced,” Lena burst out, looking down at her hands. Kara looked down too, and saw that Lena’s fingernails were short and looked as if Lena had bitten them. “I really didn’t know where else to go.”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re always welcome here,” Kara said in what she hoped was a soothing voice.

Lena shot her a grateful glance before looking down at her hands again, as if whatever it was that she had to say, she couldn’t say while she was looking at Kara.

“Someone found some… some photos of me,” Lena said in a harsh voice, and she shot up off the sofa and started pacing, dashing angry tears from her face with quick, sharp movements. “Some photos of me back when I was floundering after what Lex did. It was such a _stupid_ decision,” she burst out angrily. “I don’t know why I- no, I do. They’re topless photos, essentially. I just did them because I wanted to… _fuck,_ I just wanted to feel good about myself just for one thing back then. Just _one fucking thing_. I had all the negatives, the photographer signed an NDA, I don’t know how they got out. My team is trying to find the source.”

“Shit, Lena, I’m so sorry,” Kara started.

“But that’s not all,” Lena continued in a cracked voice. “One of my exes, _not_ Veronica, must’ve taped… must’ve… they made a video of us when we- when… _fuck_ ,” and Kara could see the moment Lena seemed to break in half. Kara leaped up and caught her in her arms, and pulled her back to the sofa, pulled her down beside her, and Lena just… let her. Lena let herself be pulled into Kara’s embrace, and curled up against her while she cried big, heaving, jerky sobs into her shoulder. Lena clutched at Kara’s shirt with her fists, the fabric pulling, and Kara swore she could feel Lena’s tears soaking down onto her skin.

There was nothing Kara could do but hold on tight as Lena fell apart in her arms, looking so much younger than 26, feeling sympathetic tears brimming in her own eyes. She stroked Lena’s hair gently, ran her hand up and down Lena’s arm, whispered reassuring words into Lena’s hair. Mostly, she just held her and passed her tissues. Lena cried solidly for half an hour, sometimes slowing down before bursting into fresh tears. The outpouring of emotions was so strong that Kara was sure Lena hadn’t yet had a chance to deal with them, and Kara was simultaneously heartbroken and horrified that Lena had not had a single person to go to.

As Lena’s sobs died down, she looked up at Kara, a strained look on her blotchy face, her eyes bloodshot. Kara wiped away the residual tears and moved slightly to pass her a fresh tissue.

“I feel s-so _betrayed_ ,” Lena choked out. “So… violated.” She remained leaning against Kara, and twisted the tissue between her fingers. “The photos were my own decision to make, and that’s bad enough, but the- the video… I was only 20 years old. I- I didn’t know they were making it. I can’t believe they would do that to me,” Lena said in a near-whisper, sniffing as another tear ran down her cheek.

Kara felt anger contort her face as she hugged Lena closer to her and stared resolutely at the wall. How anyone could’ve taken advantage of Lena, of anyone, in that way for their own gain was unimaginably cruel. She was furious, and she could only imagine how Lena must feel. The tears were their own evidence, but betrayal like than ran deep.

Kara ran her hand down Lena’s hair, twirling her fingers around it and pulling it gently before letting it go, repeating the action over and over again while Lena sniffled against her shoulder.

“I’m sorry for just… showing up here at your door,” Lena said, shifting back a little so she could look at Kara, and taking her hand. “I honestly actually… this is going to sound stupid, but I didn’t feel like I had anywhere else to go. My apartment is so… there’s nobody there. My work colleagues are just… well, and I didn’t want to go to my family. You’ve heard about them, I’m sure,” she said with a ghost of a smile. “My mother- Lex is still Lillian’s little boy, her greatest achievement. We haven’t agreed on anything in years. She could probably bury this video in a heartbeat, but I… the last thing I want to do is go to her for help. Fulfill her idea of me being Lex’s antithesis.”

Kara had seen Lillian Luthor in the news. A cold, impassive face, always striding forward as if she owned the world, and, Kara thought, she probably actually _did_ line the pockets of many a policymaker. At Lex’s trial, and in her own investigations, she had infamously defended her son and his violently xenophobic ideas. She was suspected as an accomplice in various plots from the very start of the very public investigations, but nobody had ever been able to implicate Lillian in anything.

“Everyone I’ve ever trusted has let me down,” Lena continued, the tissue in her fingers now tiny pieces in a pile on her leg. “I know we didn’t know each other long, but… when I was here before, I felt safe, and I guess I- it was the first place I thought of. Kara,” she blurted, a pained look passing over her face. “I know we need to talk about what happened with Veronica- I want to explain about-”

Kara sighed, stopping Lena mid-sentence and rubbing her thumb over the soft part of Lena’s hand. “I know, but Lena… not right now. I think this isn’t the right time.” Lena looked like she was about to protest, so Kara reached over and put her hand on her cheek. Lena pressed her face gently into Kara’s palm, but kept her green eyes on Kara’s. “You’re already sad enough.”

The gratitude that spread across Lena’s face then was proof enough that Kara was doing the right thing by putting off _that_ particular conversation. In fact… Kara slapped her hands suddenly on her thighs, startling Lena slightly. “I know what you need. Wait here. Give me a few minutes, okay?” Lena nodded, looking curious. “Great. Just stay there.”

Kara jogged upstairs. Kara’s method of running off her frustration on a treadmill didn’t seem to be what Lena needed right now. But comfort? Comfort Kara knew like the back of her hand.

She headed into her bathroom, turned the taps on in the bath, and poured a very generous amount of her most expensive bubblebath into the hot water. She fetched a huge fluffy towel from the linen closet and put it on the rack, then lit candles. Wandering back into her bedroom, she fished through her drawers until she found some jogging bottoms and an ancient, worn-to-perfect-softness NSYNC hoody. Kara had no idea what Lena had in her backpack, but better safe than sorry. She placed them in the bathroom as well, before going back downstairs.

Lena was exactly where she’d left her, tapping away at something on her phone. Her eyes were a lot less red when she looked up at Kara, but she still seemed pretty tense. Kara gave her a soft smile.

“I’m running you a bath,” she said, pulling Lena to her feet. “It’ll help you relax. I’ve put a towel in the bathroom for you, and found you the coziest clothes I own. There’s a radio in there if you want some music, and if you want some books to read in there, I’ll fetch you something.”

Lena’s face broke into a wide, grateful smile, and she made a move towards Kara as if to hug her, but stopped halfway there, clearly not sure whether that would be appreciated. Kara made the decision for her, and wrapped her arms around Lena’s shoulders. She felt arms gently encircle her waist, and Lena rested her head against Kara’s collarbone.

“Thank you,” she murmured, “for doing this for me. “It means more than I can say.” She pulled back slightly, but kept her arms around Kara’s waist. “Actually… do you have something from your bookstore that I could read? Something happy?”

Kara grinned. “Definitely!”

A comfortable silence fell around them; their arms around each other, Kara looked at Lena, taking the opportunity to really see her for the first time in what felt like ages. Lena’s eyes moved over Kara’s face, crinkling slightly as she smiled under Kara’s soft gaze, her pale skin blushing a pretty pink.

“Come on,” Kara whispered to her. “The bath should be just about ready by now.” She slipped her hand into Lena’s, and lead her up towards the bathroom. Lena let out a huge sigh when she saw the bathroom Kara had prepared for her, and Kara was glad she’d made the effort.

“I’ll just… go and fetch the book for you. I’ll be back in just a second,” Kara said, before pushing open the door to her bedroom and slipping through it quickly. Once the door was closed, she thumped back against it in horror at the mess she saw. It was clearly the room someone with a heavy hangover had spent the day in; she took in the clutter, the Chinese takeout boxes, the dirty tissues, and the duvet in a ball at the end of the bed, tossed aside as the nauseated hot flushes had washed over her earlier. She rushed over to the bookcase, grabbed the book she wanted for Lena, and left her room, making sure to crack the door as little as possible on her way out, lest Lena see what a slob she’d been.

Lena was sitting on the little seat in the bathroom, pulling the pink running socks off, and revealing dark red polished toenails. For some reason, the sight made Kara feel hot under the proverbial collar. Lena looked up as she approached, and she fumbled with the book for a second before she handed it over.

 _“A Little Bit of Spice,_ by Georgia Beers,” Lena read, turning the book over and glancing at the blurb. She glanced at Kara. “And this is one of your favorites?” she said, waving the book in Kara’s direction.

“Yeah. It made me want to start trying to drink craft beer,” she admitted.

That got a laugh out of Lena. “And did you? Try it, I mean.”

“Not yet,” Kara replied. “The problem with beer is that I’m not a great fan of hops.”

Lena was silent for a moment. “I wonder if you’d like Guinness?” she mused. “If you ever visit m- if you’re ever in Dublin,” the blush from a few minutes ago making itself known again, “you should try it.”

Kara had definitely noticed the slip, and couldn’t decide if she should curse the hope she felt or revel in it. For the moment, she let it slide. “Maybe I will.” The smile Lena gave her was soft, and she clutched the book to her chest. “Oh! Sorry! I’m just going to let you enjoy your bath,” Kara said, taking a step back towards the door, sharing a smile with Lena, and shutting it behind her. Staring at her bedroom door and remembering the disaster zone behind it, she called out, “take your time! Really!”

Kara took the stairs down as fast as she could without tripping over her clumsy feet, grabbed a garbage bag, and raced back upstairs. Opening it in her room, she crammed it full of every piece of detritus she could see; all the rubbish from her day, everything else that she’d left all over her floor from the past week, and the ratty old workout top that was more hole than top. She pulled the sheets off the bed, replaced them with fresh ones that had sunflowers on them, stuffed all her dirty clothes in the basket to take downstairs to wash, and put her clean clothes from her chair away in her closet. Once she was finished, she opened the windows for some air, and surveyed her room, squinting at it and trying to look at it as if she were a stranger.

The room was warmly decorated, with exposed rough brown brick on the one wall her bed was pushed up against, and around the windows. The other two walls were a pale yellow that reminded her of a sunrise seen through morning mist, especially when the sun hit it. The only furniture she had in her room was an old writing desk that had belonged to Jeremiah, a large dark blue and red checkered armchair that didn’t match the décor at all but was supremely comfortable, and a stool in front of the easel she kept near the windows, which reached the ceiling. She had only one picture on the wall, a framed print of her favorite Degas painting. Bookshelves lined the walls at different levels throughout the room, even in the corners, filled with art books, romance novels, and knick-knacks that Alex had brought her from her trips. If there happened to be the odd geeky statuette as well, then so be it. Under her bed she had several boxes of belongings she’d collected throughout her life, including some of her parents’ belongings that only took out on certain occasions.

Kara liked to think that her room reflected herself in some ways. It was inviting, and uncomplicated. She hoped Lena liked it. They hadn’t discussed it, and she didn’t want to assume… but assume she did that Lena was staying the night. She grabbed some extra sheets to put on the sofa downstairs, just in case her assumption was correct. Just as she thought that, she heard the front door slam shut. Crap. _Alex!_

She rushed down the stairs again just as Alex came into the kitchen, skidding into the room and waving at her. Alex waved bemusedly back at her before dumping her keys in the bowl on the counter. “Hey,” she said, shrugging her jacket off.

“Hey,” Kara replied, drawing the word out before hugging Alex quickly.

“What’s wrong with your face?” Alex asked bluntly, but with a smile. “You look like you’re… panicking, but really happy about it. Weird.”

“Lena’s here,” Kara blurted out.

Alex’s mouth fell open. “What do you mean she’s _here?_ Where here?” she asked, peering around Kara as if she expected Lena to be sitting on the sofa.

“In the bath. She showed up on the doorstep about an hour and a half ago in tears because-” Kara ground to a halt. She didn’t know to what extent Lena’s photos or _that video_ had been leaked, and if Alex hadn’t heard about them, she wasn’t going to be the one to tell her. “Something happened to her and she didn’t know where else to go. So, she’s here. In the bath.”

Alex ran her hand through her hair. “Well. There’s not much I can say to that,” she replied, lifting her shoulders in surrender. “As long as you’re okay with her being here, then I am as well. Does she have everything she needs?”

“You’re an angel,” Kara said. “Yes, I left her up there with some pajamas and stuff to wear when she comes out. I don’t know whether she’s staying the night. Um,” she stuttered as Alex raised an eyebrow at her. “I guess she is, so I brought sheets down to put on the sofa.”

“You can’t make her sleep on the sofa, Kara,” Alex hissed at her. “Maggie might come over later!”

“The sofa is for _me_ , Alex! Wow,” Kara laughed.

“Have you talked about… y’know, the Veronica thing?” Alex asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Kara thought it was a valid question. “No, but she was pretty agitated when she arrived today, and quite upset. I didn’t want to bring that up straight away. I thought bath and a good rest might be a better idea and we can… we can talk about it some other time,” she said, rubbing a hand up and down her arm.

Alex held her hands up in mock-surrender. “That’s fine, Kara. Just as long as you both get the air cleared sometime soon in a way that resolves things. Or, you know, makes you both happy. Either way. Do you want me to head over to Maggie’s tonight instead of her coming here?”

“That would be _amazing,_ ” Kara gushed, hugging Alex once more, who laughed in her ear. “She was really quite upset earlier, and I kind of want her to relax. Are you sure it’s okay for you to go out?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem. I’ll be here tomorrow night though, because I’ve got an early shift the day after,” Alex said, pulling her jacket back on.

“Can you apologize to Maggie for me for foisting my sister on her tonight?”

“You know she won’t see it that way,” Alex replied, a shy grin touching her face, “but sure. I’ll tell her you owe her the first two rounds next time we’re at the bar. And since when do you say _foisting_?”

Once Alex had gathered some overnight stuff and left, Kara googled nearby pizza takeout places, and to her delight found one that also had a large variety of Ben & Jerry’s on their menu. She ordered three large pizzas, and several tubs of different varieties of ice cream that contained chocolate in some way, remembering that Lena liked it, and a few bottles of Coke after discovering that she had nothing to drink in the fridge other than two bottles of cider and half a pint of milk.

The pizza and icecream had arrived five minutes ago, and she was settled on the sofa with _the Fellowship of the Ring_ open in her hands when she heard Lena coming down the stairs, obviously having been spurred into action by the doorbell. Kara looked up as she entered the lounge, as Lena was putting her cell into the pouch pocket. She hadn’t bothered to put on any socks or anything on her feet, and Lena looked… as adorable as she had when she had been standing at the bottom of Kara’s stairs the first time.

Lena smiled shyly. She’d put her hair up in a messy bun and her eyes didn’t look at bloodshot. The jogging bottoms and sleeves of the hoody were too long for her, Kara being slightly taller, and Lena pulled self-consciously at one of the sleeves as Kara appraised her. “Your bath is wonderful,” she said quietly, and then louder once she spotted the pizza boxes, “please tell me at least one of those is covered in beef?”

“Yup,” Kara replied, smiling at Lena’s hopefulness. “There’s a plate there, just take as much of any of them as you want. I’ve got ice cream as well.”

“You’re an angel,” Lena said happily, picking up the plate and filling it before settling on the sofa. Kara piled pizza on her own plate and sat back down opposite Lena. They ate contentedly for a few minutes, the music from the kitchen radio the only background noise. When they were finished with that, Lena followed her out into the kitchen and was choosing a tub of Ben & Jerry’s out of the freezer while Kara put the leftover pizza in the fridge.

Lena was like an excited child when she pulled out a tub of Phish Food and held it up with a grin. “Can I eat this one?” she asked Kara, as though she expected Kara to say no.

“Sure,” Kara said, picking the chocolate fudge brownie tub for herself. When they got back to the lounge, Kara turned the TV on and settled on the channel showing reruns of _Friends_. While she acknowledged that the show hadn’t aged well, it still made her laugh. She and Lena dug their spoons into their ice cream and watched the show. Well; Lena watched the show, dragging the blanket from the back of the sofa and tucking it around her legs. Kara mostly watched Lena.

Her usually pale face had tanned only very slightly while she’d been in Romania, giving the impression that she’d tried to avoid the sun as best as she could while she’d been there. Her smiles, while seemingly genuine while looking at Kara, still looked slightly strained, as if the reason she’d come here was weighing on her mind even when she wasn’t consciously thinking about it. She was looking at her phone very often, no doubt waiting for updates from her team. But what made Kara feel the saddest was that her beautiful green eyes looked almost dull. Kara didn’t have any idea how long this situation had been going on for; judging from Lena’s reaction this evening, she didn’t think it had been very long, but it appeared to have knocked all the confidence out of her.

Kara was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t realized Lena was looking at her too. “Kara?” Lena asked gently. Kara’s blue eyes found green. “It’s been… very lovely to have this… relaxing evening that I didn’t expect given the chaos my life has become in the last day. And you’ve been very kind when you really didn’t have to be considering what happened when we- well… I want to explain about Veronica.”

“Lena, we don’t have to talk about this now-”

“I know. But I want to clear the air. I don’t like the way we left things and I don’t want it to hang over us, and I know it was all my fault. That night, and the phone call. The service was terrible, but that wasn’t all. I didn’t explain things well at all, and that must’ve been terribly confusing for you, not to mention hurtful. I promise that I wasn’t leading you on-”

Kara leaned over and put her hand over Lena’s, stopping her monologue. “I never thought that. I don’t know anything about Veronica, but the way you- the way we kissed… that didn’t feel like you were leading me on. It felt real,” Kara finished, smiling, knowing that she was blushing. And any doubts that she may have harbored at the back of her mind vanished at the answering blush on Lena’s cheeks.

“It was real,” Lena confirmed, her voice soft. “It _is_ real,” she continued, and Kara’s heart skipped a beat. “But I- I hope if we’re to- I should explain- you deserve an explanation. There are a few things to mention. I promise it’s nothing too horrible, but…” Lena suddenly drew back her hand and set them both in her lap, twisting her fingers. Kara still wasn’t sure talking about this now was the best idea, and was about to say something when Lena continued.

“I think the biggest problem is that I’m not truly out of the closet professionally. Personally, yes, but I’ve tried really hard, and put a lot of effort into keeping that part of my life private. It’s… like an open secret. There are always rumors, but... to be honest I- I haven’t really dated that much,” she admitted, looking at Kara intently. “My mother wasn’t exactly supportive when I was younger. She still isn’t, although she’s less vocal about it now. I didn’t date anyone until I was 19 years old. I had a girlfriend, but when Lex did what he did, she split, and broke my heart. She couldn’t deal with the drama of being with a Luthor and,” Lena sighed sadly, “she wasn’t the only one. She was the one who- the video… well. As I changed careers, there were a few women who were clearly only in it because of who my family was. Not who I was,” she finished.

“Lena, I’m so sorry. I had no idea-”

“It’s fine,” Lena cut in, placing her hands in front of her and touching the blanket with her index finger, and looking up at Kara with sad green eyes. “Then, when my acting career took off, there were women who just wanted to be with me because I was famous, because of the money, because they wanted the lifestyle of being with someone famous, the future red carpets if I was to ever… allow myself to expose my partner that way. I don’t want to be with someone who only wants me for the exposure that it brings them; it feels dishonest. It’s a little hard to… to- well, it’s… I was lonely for a very long time. My last relationship fell apart six months ago. It’s hard to be normal when nobody sees you as your own person. Or even as a person at all.”

Kara felt awful for Lena. It was one thing to be the younger sister of a terrorist; Kara remembered the fallout from that. The Luthor name had been dragged through the mud, every member of their family put under surveillance and thoroughly investigated by the FBI, including Lena due to her work in the labs. Kara couldn’t believe she had let that detail slip her mind. And her subsequent career, coupled with her last name, had made her almost untouchable. She was almost elusive when it came to the press, which meant that everywhere she was spotted, there was intense media scrutiny. Kara couldn’t imagine anyone trying to date under those circumstances.

“I’ve been called all sorts of things in the press. Cold, aloof, distant, frosty, a bitch. Hard to get to know, because I give so little away these days. And It’s been so long since someone has seen past my name and my day job and just seen a person who wants to… who wants to be treated like a human being,” Lena continued, picking at the blanket, clearly having decided to be extremely open. “Don’t get me wrong, I was very grateful you were _so_ without pretense around me, but that’s not all it was, not at all. That afternoon with you, when I was last here, even if we didn’t know each other, was one of the best I’ve had in years. You didn’t really care who I was, you just wanted to make sure I was comfortable and it felt like… like you cared if I was alright. Like you wanted to talk to _me_. You were kind. And beautiful, Kara. And I was happy.”

Lena’s eyes were glittering. “You treated me like a normal person, and honestly? At the time I didn’t know you and I wasn’t sure whether you had any ulterior motive, but then I saw you at the hotel and you were just the same. And… I saw you looking at me at Winn’s place on the game night. Like you were still checking up on me. But also like you wanted something more. You had a look in your eyes, sometimes. Then you held my hand in the car, and my heart... I was nervous about that night,” Lena admitted quietly, “and I’ve been wearing so many masks for so long that I’d almost forgotten who _Lena_ was. But being around you made me remember.”

Kara was touched by Lena’s words, and reached her hand across the blanket towards Lena, who took her hand and stroked her fingers along Kara’s palm.

“And then there was Veronica,” Lena said suddenly, glancing up at Kara, green eyes roaming over her face before looking back down. “She was my last partner, and we broke up seven months ago. We were together for a year. She was a little dicey at times, and prone to making bad decisions for questionable reasons, but she was very open about things. She was bold. Her family was almost as shitty as mine was, and I think in some way I responded to that. I felt like I was around someone who understood. She and I shared a very deep friendship, and perhaps I mistook that for love, looking back. But she wasn’t the most faithful person. I know she cheated on me many times, but at the same time, she wanted me to belong to her, but not in a way that was of my choosing. Eventually, I left. But she always finds me, somehow. I’m sorry she was so rude to you, Kara,” Lena implored, squeezing Kara’s hand with both of hers. “She always lashed out at everyone she thought I was interested in, even if they were just a friend, and- it’s no excuse, not at all,” Lena said, correctly reading the look on Kara’s face, “but she saw us holding hands, and I guess she… didn’t like it. I was absolutely _furious_ at her. She tried to pretend that I’d never ended the relationship. But I’ve shown her the door again… and this time I hope she truly got the message.”

Kara couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t still pissed at Veronica. In fact, she’d probably never like her even if she apologized if she ever saw her again.

“And then I… my own behavior was inexcusable really. You and I hardly talked while I was away. I suppose I- I mean, I thought you’d be much angrier with me, if I’m being completely honest. I know we don’t know each other that well, and so you had no real reason to… open the door to me tonight. But I’m glad you did. You should know that I’ve felt like a coward for the last month. I worked really hard on my role for the month, and we were filming in the middle of nowhere and signal was patchy at best. But I spent my spare moments with only you on my mind.”

“It’s okay,” Kara started, and then paused. “Well, it’s not really totally okay but I get it. I’m glad you told me all that. It all explained a lot.”

“Oh?” Lena asked, a hopeful look crossing her face as it dawned on her that Kara wasn’t still angry. And she wasn’t.

“Yeah. I didn’t have to grow up with a homophobic mother, or be constantly judged against my nefarious brother, or then choose to spend my life in the public eye. You’re not the things that the press say you are.” Lena looked down at the blanket. “You wanted to make a name for yourself away from what people expected you to be. And maybe one day you won’t want to hide your personal life as much, once people realize what a great person you actually are underneath all those designer dresses.”

Lena let out a wet laugh and a sniffle. “And underneath the coffee, too?”

Kara laughed and tugged at Lena’s hand, until she got the hint and curled herself up against Kara’s side. “Yeah, underneath the coffee. Look, Lena… I felt like we had something, when you were here before.” Kara jumped slightly as she felt Lena’s arm encircle her waist, fingers touching skin. “But I think you’ve had a long day… and I’ve made my bed up for you upstairs. I’m sorry if I’m assuming but… um, I’m assuming anyway. You’re staying the night, right?”

Lena looked up at her in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected Kara to offer her a place to stay as well, before she attempted to cover her surprise with humor. “That’s very forward of you, Miss Danvers, offering me your bed like that!” Lena laughed into Kara’s shoulder.

“Oh ha ha,” Kara said, running her hand down Lena’s arm.

“But… yes, I- if it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay. If- will Alex be okay with that?”

“I’ve already told her, and yeah, she’s fine,” Kara replied, stifling a yawn, and very glad indeed that she’d spent some time tidying it up earlier. “Let me just show you the bedroom. Stop it,” she said, slapping Lena’s arm gently when she started giggling. She got up and pulled Lena to her feet, and showed her to the bedroom.

Lena stepped inside it and wandered around with a small smile on her face, and ran her finger across the top of the easel. “You paint?” she asked, looking back at Kara, who was hovering in the doorway.

“I do, but not very often at the moment.”

“I’d like to see your work sometime,” Lena said. “Your room is very like you. Warm.”

Kara smiled gently. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Oh!” Lena exclaimed suddenly, rushing over to the painting above the nightstand, a large print of Degas’ _Dancer In Front of A Window_. “I can’t believe you have this painting on your wall!”

“You like Degas?” Kara asked, walking over to stand next to Lena while she looked at it reverently.

“Very much so. And this one is my favorite. I- she’s posed, but she doesn’t care who’s looking at her, either in front of her in the studio, or from the windows in the background,” Lena said in a quiet voice, as she examined it, before glancing over at Kara. “Blue should denote coldness, but this painting isn’t cold. It… seems to me to burst with warmth and movement. She’s carefree, and she’s happy. It feels like how love should be. Living her life regardless of the audience. She’s free.”

Kara had never thought of the painting in that way before, but as she looked at Lena admiring the painting so earnestly, she thought she knew what Lena meant.

“Well, I’ll leave you and Degas alone,” she said, snapping Lena out of her trance. Lena smiled at her. “I’m going to sleep on the sofa. If you need anything, just help yourself. There are spare toothbrushes under the sink.”

“I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed, Kara,” Lena said, looking a bit startled at the thought of that. “We can-”

Kara held her hands up, but smiled along with it so as to not give Lena the wrong impression. “Trust me, there is no bed more comfortable than that one, but I’m going to take one for the team and sleep on the sofa tonight. You should get as good a rest as you can. You’ve had a long day, and I’ve been told I shift around a lot sometimes.”

“Well, if you’re sure…” Lena replied uncertainly.

“I am, really. I’ll be right downstairs if you need something.” Kara backed towards the door. “Goodnight, Lena.”

“Goodnight, Kara,” Lena murmured, her face lit only by the small lamp on the nightstand. The angle of the light should’ve been terrible, but it highlighted Lena’s sharp jaw and her high cheekbones, and Kara didn’t think she’d ever seen Lena look as beautiful as she did right then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank so much for reading! :) this was a fairly dialogue-heavy chapter, but I feel like talking things out is healthy :)
> 
> NB: these are my own feelings on this painting, my favourite by Degas. It is generally thought that the dancer looks inhibited. I prefer to think that she is free :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara spend the day together at home :)

According to her phone, it was 3:15am. It turned out that the sofa, which was so comfortable for sitting on, was just this side of uncomfortable for sleeping on. Kara was just too tall for it, so her knees and legs were aching from the multiple strange positions she’d contorted herself into while trying to sleep.

She’d played several different games on her cell, read several chapters of her book, and channel-surfed through the TV, in between attempts at going to sleep. There was just no getting around the fact that she just didn’t fit on the sofa, but she didn’t want to go up and sleep in Alex’s bed because she’d told Lena she’d be on the sofa. What if Lena needed something? Kara doubted that Lena would think to head into Alex’s room.

She hoped Lena was sleeping much better than she was managing to do down here. Lena had moved around her room for a few minutes earlier, before she’d padded to the bathroom and back. There’d been no more sound after that.

Kara was also simply very aware of Lena’s presence in her home. The thought that Lena was actually in her _bed_ was enough to chase any semblance of sleep away from her entirely, and she gazed at the ceiling, her fingers steepled in the near-dark, listening to the sounds of the occasional car as it passed on the street. Dimly, she wondered whether sometime in the next few months, she should try to organize a book signing by one of her favorite LGBT authors. Now that Pride was over, she needed to schedule some events in the bookstore for the summer.

She was just contemplating which authors she should try to invite when she heard the door to her bedroom creak open extremely slowly. Kara didn’t have to strain her ears to hear Lena creeping across the hallway and down the stairs; the house was very quiet, and Kara was alert to any movement. Lena snuck into the kitchen, took a glass out of the cupboard and moved towards the tap. Belatedly, Kara realized she hadn’t told her that the kitchen tap had been on the blink for the last few weeks, spraying water like a fountain at the slightest provocation. Just as she flung the blanket off her knees, she heard a stifled yelp from the kitchen along with the hiss of the tap and the sound of water cascading onto the floor.

Skidding into the kitchen, Kara found Lena hurriedly turning off the tap and looking around for a towel to mop up the mess. Kara was about to announce herself when her words died in her throat- Lena had dispensed with the jogging bottoms. She was wearing only the hoody which was luckily long enough to cover her modesty, because Kara didn’t have any idea whether Lena was wearing any underwear. Lena’s pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight shining through the window as she moved through the kitchen, giving her an otherworldly look. Kara was taken aback by the wave of desire that washed over her as her eyes traveled up Lena’s bare legs, so much so that when she realized what she was doing, she stepped backwards and knocked into the door, making enough noise that Lena startled and crashed into the worktop. Thankfully, she didn’t have the glass in her hand, otherwise Kara was sure she would’ve had to spend her night cleaning up glass shards.

“ _Shit!_ ” Lena exclaimed, clutching a hand to her chest. “Kara! I’m really sorry! I- the tap just… well, exploded for lack of a better word. Damn,” she said, as she stepped into a puddle. “I’ll clean this up. I made a huge mess, at least, I think I did. I can’t really see.”

Kara chuckled to herself and turned on the nearest lamp, illuminating the fact that Lena had indeed made a huge mess. Luckily, she seemed to have borne the brunt of the water rather than the floor; the front of her hoody was soaking. Kara moved over to the kitchen towels, pulling a ream of them off the roll and then ducking down to mop up the mess. She felt, rather than saw, Lena step away from her, and heard her yank the hoody down. Ah, so she’d remembered her state of… undress. Kara kept her eyes averted this time, concentrated on cleaning up the mess, and then dumped the wet towels into the bin.

“The tap is broken at the moment,” Kara said in a stage-whisper. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you. Here, let me get that for you,” taking up the glass Lena had left on the side and filling it for her. “Is that okay?”

“That’s- that’s great, thanks Kara. I’m really sorry if I woke you up,” Lena said as she took the glass from Kara.

“No, no, I was awake anyway. It turns out that the sofa isn’t that comfortable to sleep on,” Kara replied, then immediately wished she hadn’t said anything as a guilty look lodged itself on Lena’s face. Cutting across Lena as she was about to speak, Kara continued, “and that hoody is soaking. I’ll show you where I keep them, so you can just get another one to change into.”

She headed up the stairs, leaving a bemused Lena to follow her. As she entered her bedroom, she was surprised to see the bedside lamp was on with more than one book on the nightstand. Lena had clearly finished the one from the bath earlier, and pulled a few off Kara’s shelves before deciding on… what was that… a biography of Audrey Hepburn?

Lena sidled into the room behind her. “I haven’t been sleeping either,” Lena supplied in a tired voice. “I only got back from Romania two days ago and I’m still jetlagged. It’s-” she looked at her watch, “10:30 in the morning there at the moment. I nearly fell asleep in the bath earlier, and I feel quite tired now actually, but I’ve been reading for the past few hours.”

Kara nodded. “I’ve never been more than a couple of timezones away from home, so I’ve never experienced jetlag the way other people do,” she said, as she moved towards her closet and opening the door. As she looked through her clothes, she tossed a glance at Lena over her shoulder. “Do you want another hoody or do you want a t-shirt or something? It gets kind of warm in here.”

“Oh, a t-shirt and some… shorts like you’ve got on I guess, would be great. Thanks Kara,” Lena replied quietly.

Kara looked down at herself and her tiny shorts covered in unicorns and her clashing orange tank top before sighing. _What a great impression I’m making_ , she thought to herself. She searched her drawers until she came up with a similar pair of sleep shorts, this time covered in tiny cartoon puppy faces and a t-shirt that proclaimed that she was the one who had killed Jenny Schecter. She handed them both to Lena, who took them silently before looking back up at Kara.

“Um… could you turn around for a sec?” she asked.

“Oh! Sure,” Kara said, jumping and facing her closet with a hand over her eyes. She heard the wet thud of the hoody on the floor and the shifting of clothes as Lena dressed herself, and finally the rustle of the duvet as Lena climbed back into bed. “Okay now?” she asked, and turned back around at Lena’s noise of affirmation. Lena had one arm behind her head, the covers pulled all the way up, and she was looking at Kara with an amused expression and sleepy eyes. “What?”

“Kara. I heard you say the sofa wasn’t very comfortable. Just get into bed. It’s big enough for both of us anyway,” Lena said, her voice wavering only slightly before she let out a cracking yawn. Kara hesitated, and Lena huffed before flipping the other side of the duvet down. “Come on, Kara. We should both get some sleep, and I don’t bite.”

Kara swallowed. “Are you sure?” she said, twisting her fingers together.

“Well. I don’t bite _much_ ,” Lena said, a sultry tone creeping into her voice, and she laughed at the look on Kara’s face as the joke registered. “It _is_ your bed. I’d rather you got some sleep than lie awake on the sofa all night.” Lena cleared the bed of the books, piling them up neatly on the nightstand, her dark hair hiding her face.

Kara took the opportunity to edge towards the bed, indecision rampant in her mind. She _was_ tired, and she knew she would sleep better in her own bed. The problem was, her own bed had a very beautiful and sleepy Lena Luthor in it. Her bed. Lena. “Are you really very sure?”

Lena gave her an exasperated look, but smiled to take the edge off it. “Yes, Kara. Now come on, I want to go to sleep.”

That was all the encouragement needed for Kara to slide into the bed; she lay on her back and stretched out, keeping her eyes shut, but she could feel Lena shuffling around on the bed as she made herself comfortable. Lena turned the light off and rolled over to face her in the darkness. Kara glanced over and could just about see Lena’s eyes. _Christ, what am I doing?_ She wouldn’t be surprised if Lena could hear how fast her heart was beating.

She jumped slightly as Lena slid her hand gently into Kara’s. “Relax, Kara,” she murmured. “It’s supposed to be me that’s stressed, not you!”

Kara felt nervous laughter bubbling up in her throat, and squeezed Lena’s hand. She closed her eyes again. “Goodnight, Lena,” she said in a voice that sounded much steadier than she felt.

“Goodnight, darling,” Lena whispered, before letting go of her hand and turning over onto either her back or her side, Kara didn’t know. She was so tired that despite the extraordinary circumstance she found herself in, she was asleep before she could look over at Lena once more.

 

* * * * *

 

Kara woke up slowly in the morning, the sunlight shining through a chink in the curtain directly into her eyes. She screwed up her eyes against the light, wondering why it was so bright. It took her a second to remember why she was in her bed and not on the sofa, and her eyes shot open. All of a sudden, she became very aware of four very specific things.

First, Lena was still fast asleep, pressed up against Kara’s back, and she was breathing softly into her neck. Second, Kara was using one of Lena’s arms as a pillow, her right hand on Lena’s elbow. Third, Lena’s other arm was thrown across Kara’s waist, her hand falling down towards the bed, and the fingers of Kara’s left hand were tangled with Lena’s. Fourth, they must’ve got hot in the night and thrown the duvet off, but Lena had clearly got a bit chilly… or something else, because her right leg was pushed between Kara’s thighs.

Internally, Kara groaned to herself. She was pretty sure this was torture of the most exquisite kind. Everywhere Lena was touching her, she was soft. Kara couldn’t pretend that she hadn’t dreamed about this. Sleepy mornings were one of her favorite things about sleeping in a bed with someone, but she and Lena… they hadn’t even…

For Kara, sharing a bed with someone wasn’t something she did lightly. The soft, sleepy cuddles the morning after were intimate in a way that made Kara think things like _long-term_ and _anniversaries_. Kara was pretty sure how things would’ve gone had she been able to go up to Lena’s hotel room that time, and that spoke volumes about how much she liked Lena. And she _did_ like Lena; she was aware of that fact. But they were already having sleepy cuddles, even if Lena wasn’t aware of it. Unless she _was_ …

Lena shifted slightly and pushed her leg up higher, pressing into Kara in a way that left her in absolutely no doubt as to what her body felt about Lena being curled around her. She needed a cold shower and now. But first she had to extricate herself. Slowly, slowly, she eased her hand out of Lena’s, and lifted her leg gently to move closer to the edge of the bed. She was almost off the bed without having woken Lena up, but she didn’t have time to feel proud of that. Just as she put her feet on the floor, she slipped on the hoody that Lena had been wearing the night before and she felt herself overbalance. That dread feeling you get when you know you are going to fall shot through her, and she grasped at nothing as she fought to stay upright, to no avail.

She skidded forward on the hoody and her legs went out from under her. She turned in midair to avoid landing on her back, but landed on her side instead, crashing into the floor heavily and loudly.

Lena jerked awake. “Kara?” She peered over the side of the bed, her hair hanging messily.

Kara waved at Lena from the floor. “Hi.”

“What are you doing down there?” Lena asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

“I… well. I thought I’d test out how soft it was if you fell on it. Turns out,” she groaned as she got up, “not very.”

“Okay, um, I- yeah, what time is it?” Lena mumbled to herself, looking around for her cell. Kara decided that Lena when she was still half-asleep was adorable.

Kara pulled her own cell out from under the pillow. “It’s- shit, it’s midday!”

Lena stared at her, groaned herself, and fell backwards against the pillow. “Well. At least I slept half the day away. I’m sorry Kara, did you have something you needed to do today?” she asked, her green eyes full of apology as she looked at Kara.

“Nope!” Kara replied, before remembering that today was Monday and inventory and stock day, and that really, she _should_ go to work. “I did a huge order last week right before Pride, so I don’t need to go in today. Umm, what do you eat for breakfast?”

“Fruit, Greek yogurt, bananas?” Lena smiled, and then burst out laughing at the look of utter horror on Kara’s face.

“ _Lena,_ ” Kara burst out. “That’s not breakfast! Ugh, okay. Just, stay here,” she said, grabbing clothes out of her closet while Lena watched her. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes with _real_ breakfast.”

“Yes ma’am,” Lena said, lying back down with a heavy thud and a salute, and then immediately followed it with a cringe of embarrassment. Kara grinned. Lena was a dork.

Pulling her clothes on as she hopped through the kitchen, Kara dashed out to Eliza’s diner and ordered several stacks of both pancakes and waffles, with different toppings on each of them, including one stack of pancakes with Greek yogurt and blueberries just to appease Lena.

She carried the teetering pile of boxes back home and let herself in, carefully dodged the bike, and laid everything out on the breakfast table near the kitchen. Neither she nor Alex usually used the table, so it was normally covered in medical journals or piles of books that Kara was planning to read before adding to the bookstore. But today it would be full of pancakes and waffles. Just as she was pulling knives and forks out of the drawer, Lena came down the stairs, still dressed in the same pajamas. They were a little big on her, but they just made her look cute and softened the sharp angles of her face.

A face that looked agog at the array of sugar that Kara had laid out on the table. She stepped up to it, glancing up at Kara and then back down in shock. “Have I missed something, or are we having company for breakfast?” she asked.

“Nope,” Kara said, accentuating the p with a pop. “It’s just us. I wasn’t sure what you wanted, but I did get you at least one vaguely healthy one,” she pointed dubiously at the box that contained the Greek yogurt and blueberry pancakes. Lena opened it and smiled.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely, walking around to squeeze Kara’s forearm. Kara pulled out a chair for Lena and passed her the cutlery, before making them both a coffee.

They ate their breakfast, Lena eating all of hers before branching out to try the others that Kara had bought. Kara was secretly pleased, and when Lena had eaten more than a few bites of the maple syrup-soaked waffles, she pushed the box towards her. “I won’t tell anyone,” she said conspiratorially, at which Lena grinned, and she tucked into the waffles.

After they tidied up their breakfast, easily stepping around each other in the kitchen, Lena excused herself to go and call her team about the events of yesterday. Kara got some clothes out of her room and went to take a very long shower in order to give Lena the privacy she probably needed. She performed a few show tunes while in the shower, and took her time getting dressed afterwards.

When she headed back downstairs, she could no longer hear Lena’s voice in the lounge, and the house was quiet. She wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not, but she made sure to walk around fairly loudly in order to announce herself so that Lena knew she was around. To her surprise though, Lena came out of the lounge as soon as she heard Kara come downstairs. Kara raised her eyebrows at her.

Lena’s face held some residual anger, and her eyes were sad again. “They haven’t been able to bury it yet, although they managed to get it removed from Youtube. I’m not sure how widely everything has been circulated, but the photos definitely hit the tabloid papers,” she said, slapping her cell face-down on the kitchen counter so hard that it made Kara wince.

“Are you alright?” Kara asked hesitantly.

“I’m… it’s not as bad as yesterday. At least it’s not on Youtube,” Lena said, but she sounded very despondent. “There’s not a lot I can do about it right now. I just have to wait for more news, but it’s… quite depressing. I’m sorry, Kara, to impose, but would- would it be alright if I stayed another night?”

 _Stay forever_ , Kara thought. “Yeah of course Lena, for as long as you want to.”

Lena’s eyes darkened a little at that. “You may regret saying that,” she said, her voice sounding slightly seductive and making Kara’s mouth go a little dry.

Kara cleared her throat. “So, um, what do you want to do today?” she asked, sounding exactly as flustered as she felt.

Lena smiled knowingly and indicated a thick wad of paper on the kitchen counter that Kara hadn’t noticed before. “Would you be able to help me run some of my lines for the next film?”

“Oh wow, sure!” Kara burst out. “Golly, I’ve never done that before. Well, not since high school anyway.”

“Okay, my character is Evie, and you’ll be reading the part of… um, everyone else,” Lena said, flipping through the pages and laughing.

“Just so you know, I’m doing all the different voices!” Kara exclaimed, looking at the working title page, before bursting out into hysterical laughter. “ _Space Pirates_?! Are you _kidding_ me right now?” she asked when she was able to get a breath.

Lena was watching her with what could only be described as a delighted look on her face. “I had almost passed on the role when a friend sent it my way. But then a certain reporter from CatCo convinced me that it may be a good idea. And look,” Lena added, pointing at the character list. “There’s a young girl in it. I think Ruby Arias would be perfect for this role. You met her briefly. What do you think?”

“I think it’s perfect!”

Kara and Lena spent the next few hours going over the script, and Kara, true to form, invented different voices for all of the other characters that she was providing the words for, pantomimed any obvious actions from the script, and Lena spent more of her time laughing at Kara’s antics than memorizing her lines. Kara, for her part, was just happy to see the light back in Lena’s eyes. She felt almost silly admitting it to herself, but she had missed how her green eyes sparkled. Lena was almost the same person she’d been at game night, and on their date; radiant. Kara felt her stomach swoop when they caught each other’s eyes.

They were still at it when Alex came home, laden down with bags and bags of groceries that she’d thoughtfully gone out to buy after Kara had text her to tell her Lena was staying another night. Alex dropped the bags on the breakfast table and gave them both a wave when they spotted her.

Lena dropped her script on the worktop. “Hi again, Alex,” she said, laughter still in her voice as she shook Alex’s hand. “Your sister is helping me with my lines for my next film. I’m thinking we should cast her just for the comedy value alone!”

“I never knew Kara was so funny,” Alex quipped as she looked over at Kara with a smile, and a slightly more hesitant one at Lena. “Hey again.”

Lena’s own smile faltered a little as she caught the way Alex looked at her. She moved instinctively a step closer to Kara, her face settling into a look that was marginally more professional than friendly, and was clearly unsure of Alex’s wary look. “It’s nice to see you, Alex. You’ve got a great sister here,” she said, her voice strong. “I’m going through a… fairly rough time at the moment, and she’s been good enough to not throw me out on my ass despite what happened the last time I was in New York.”

Alex glanced over at Kara while Lena was talking, silently checking on her. When Kara nodded discreetly, she looked back at Lena and gave her a more genuine smile. “That’s our Kara for you,” she replied. “Always caring more about other people than herself.”

Lena frowned at that, as if she wasn’t quite sure whether Alex was being kind about Kara or having a slight dig at her. Kara thought it was honestly a little bit of both, but Lena didn’t know Alex well enough to know for sure, and for that, Kara was relieved.

“So, Lena’s next movie is going to be about space pirates!” Kara burst out, hoping to diffuse any tension that may develop.

“Space pirates?” Alex asked. “That actually sounds like a lot of fun.”

“It is,” Lena grinned. “I don’t begin filming until next week, over in Utah, but they’re going to let me do my own stunts and although I’m sure that Kara will be disappointed that it’s not a musical, it’s going to be pretty great!” Lena looked absolutely thrilled at the thought of it, and Kara couldn’t help feeling like she’d had a slight hand in this.

“Will you manage to get Ruby Arias on board?” Kara asked Lena, loving the ways her eyes were sparkling.

“I’ll absolutely try! I’ll talk to the director; they haven’t cast the character playing my daughter yet, so with any luck... I can already tell this is going to be… not exactly a serious film,” Lena mimed weighing things up in her hands, “but certainly a good laugh.”

They chatted about the film a little more, Lena telling them who else would be starring with her and getting both Kara and Alex interested in what goes on behind the scenes on a film, while they put the shopping away. Alex had decided to cook a large lasagna with garlic bread for dinner, and she set about preparing it while Kara poured them all a glass of wine. The discussion turned to the bookstore, and Kara eagerly launched into her ideas about having well-thought of LGBT authors come in to do readings of both their own and classic LGBT novels, writing competitions, and fundraisers for local LGBT charities. Lena asked a lot of thoughtful questions, showing good business acumen, and suggesting several ideas that had Kara reaching for a notepad and pen. Alex shared a few funny stories about strange things she’d seen at the hospital in the last week, and soon they were all shaking with laughter.

Once the lasagna was ready, they all moved into the lounge, steaming piles of food balanced carefully on their laps as they made themselves comfortable. Lena was now in her customary spot on the sofa, and Alex took the armchair. Kara sat herself down as close to Lena as she could without elbowing her, a fact not missed by either Alex or Lena; Alex gave her a knowing smirk, and Lena giving her a shy smile and her cheeks blushed a pretty pink. Alex jumped carefully off the sofa, put in _the Walking Dead_ , and winked at Lena before settling back down.

It was very clear to all of them that they each had different ways of watching the show. Alex liked the action and the horror aspect, while Kara enjoyed the changing human relationships. Lena, on the other hand, loved to pick apart the survival strategies, was more interested in the psychological aspects of the show than the emotional ones, and loudly exclaimed what she would do differently if there was a global catastrophe. When Alex challenged Lena over the scientific aspects of post-apocalyptic survival, she was pleased to be told Lena had a degree in engineering biology, and after that, Kara couldn’t get either of them to shut up about current scientific research and recent discoveries, settling for propping her chin on her hand and idly observing their animated faces and voices. Lena clearly kept up to date with the scientific world despite her family and her job, and Kara was happy to see that she’d lost none of her enthusiasm. This isn’t exactly what she thought her sister and her… Lena would be bonding over, but she’d take it.

When they all started yawning, Kara sent them both upstairs, Alex to shower and go to bed, and Lena to bath before… _shit_ , they hadn’t discussed the sleeping arrangements for tonight. Kara tidied up and then washed the dishes more aggressively than she might otherwise have done as she tried to control the adrenaline coursing through her hands, remembering the way they’d woken up that morning. Leaving the dishes to try, and attempting to swallow her nerves, she headed upstairs.

Lena was already out of her bathroom and propped up in bed with her dark hair flowing over her shoulders, the ends still damp, and glasses on her nose. She was reading yet another book, this one entitled _Gulf Breeze_ by Gerri Hill, and had a few more new ones piled on the nightstand.

“That’s a good one,” Kara squeaked, prompting Lena to look over at her amusedly. Kara cleared her throat. “Do- I mean, we hadn’t discussed- what, I mean, wow. Where am I sleeping?” One of Lena’s eyebrows rose slowly but steadily up her forehead while Kara babbled at her, and her grin stretched across her face. Kara felt her face turn hot with embarrassment, but Lena just kept on smiling at her.

“Well Miss Danvers, I presumed you’d just sleep here. This _is_ your bed, after all, isn’t it?”

Kara almost choked on nothing. “I’ll just… shower and stuff,” she stuck her thumb over her shoulder and pointed at the door. “Be right back!”

Kara didn’t think she’d ever showered as hurriedly in her life. Luckily, Alex was already done. She dropped her razor twice, the soap once, and had a minor fantasy about _dropping the soap_ around Lena before she mentally slapped herself out of it. She stepped out of the shower and toweled off, before heading back to her bedroom. Lena hadn’t moved, and was still reading, although she put her finger in the book to keep her page as she looked over at Kara.

“Is it okay if I just… blast my hair quickly with the hairdryer?” she asked. “I know it’s a bit late but-”

“It’s fine, Kara. Honestly, I still have a bit of jetlag so I’m not on the edge of sleep just yet,” Lena replied, before scooping up her cell, presumably to check for any update reports from her team. Kara handed her a bookmark from the shelf, and Lena accepted it gratefully, slipping it daintily between the pages before laying the book carefully down on the duvet before turning her full attention to her cell. Kara felt weirdly touched that Lena took such good care of books. Picking up her hairdryer, she tried to dry it as swiftly as she could, tousling it to speed the process. She wasn’t looking at Lena, and so she didn’t see that Lena’s focus was no longer on her cell, but transfixed on Kara’s shoulders and her arms as they performed their task, the muscles flexing around the movements.

When Kara looked back over, Lena’s eyes had darkened visibly even in the low light, and she made no attempt to pretend she had been doing anything other than admiring Kara. Kara blushed once again, and Lena held her gaze steadily, even as heat tinted her cheeks before she cleared her throat and looked back down at her cell.

Kara blew out a breath and hesitantly climbed into bed, not sure what that look had meant _exactly_ , but knowing what she hoped it meant. The bed felt warm from Lena’s body heat, and Kara immediately felt cozy and must more comfortable than she had last night. Despite her raging hormones, it was nice to lie in bed with Lena while she read a book. It felt… nice. Kara shuffled around a little bit, accidentally elbowing Lena in the side, who jumped and looked at Kara with a mock-affronted look.

The problem was that Lena looking down her nose at Kara through her reading glasses put certain _sexy librarian_ images in Kara’s mind, and Kara groaned. “Lena…” she started, and then bottled it. “Sorry,” she mumbled to Lena instead. “I’m a bit clumsy.”

“I had noticed,” Lena said, clearly wondering what Kara was going to say before she changed her mind. Sighing, she put her cell on the nightstand and plugged in the charger, before lying back down and facing Kara.

“Any news?” Kara asked.

“No, not yet,” Lena replied, shifting a bit.

“How do you feel now, I mean, now that you’ve had a day to… to um-”

“To get used to the idea?” Lena cut in quietly. “It’s not the easiest thing to do. I trust my team, though. Hopefully they can keep the video away from the media because I- it was a private moment. That someone I trusted would betray me so badly is bad enough, but complete strangers being able to- to… that’s a part of my life that should always be private,” Lena finished, her voice forlorn. Kara didn’t hesitate before finding one of Lena’s hands with both of her own, slipping her fingers between Lena’s and the other stroking her wrist. Lena let out another quiet sigh at the touch.

“I wanted to say thank you, Kara. No, I mean it,” she said, when Kara opened her mouth to insist that she didn’t need to thank her. “I need to say this. First of all, for your assistance yesterday when I all but threw myself at you. I know you were still angry at me about Veronica,” she murmured, her green eyes searching Kara’s face for any disagreement, finding none. “But you held me up anyway, and for that I’ll always be grateful. And today has just been… lovely. It’s been- I feel… this may sound silly, but when I’m with you, or around you, I feel more like myself than I have done in a long time. I’ve told you before that I’m just a person, but I’m so many different people to _so many_ people, whether that comes from me or their own ideas of me. And today, with you, laughing with you…”

Lena rolled onto her back, taking Kara’s hands with her, and with her other hand, stroked Kara’s skin gently with her fingertips. “You don’t expect anything of me, or for me to be someone. You never have. You appear to… enjoy my company, even when I’m nothing or nobody special.” Lena spoke to the ceiling, her voice low and vulnerable, and Kara didn’t interrupt. “Debating with Alex about theoretical situations in a TV show, talking about science… I’ve felt more like myself in the past two days despite everything than I have done in a long time. And that’s thanks to you, Kara.” And finally, finally, Lena looked at her, her green eyes shimmering with tears. “It’s like I’m being reminded of who I really am. And… and I- well, I hope that it’s someone you like.”

“Lena,” Kara breathed. “You have far too little faith in yourself. You’re one of the most interesting, courageous women I’ve ever met. And,” she whispered, sliding a little closer to Lena, “for the record, I’ve liked you ever since you came here the first time. Since I first saw you wearing my clothes.” Kara reached over and touched Lena’s face, brushing away a single tear that was making its way down porcelain skin.

Lena smiled, her eyes shining. “And for the record, Kara Danvers, I’ve liked you ever since you told me your favorite band is NSYNC.”

Kara laughed then, and so did Lena, the tension of their conversation melting away as they looked at each other in the low light. Kara continued to stroke Lena’s cheek with her thumb, and Lena held Kara’s other hand in both of hers, wrapping it in warmth.

“Lena?” Kara asked quietly.

“Yes?” Lena replied, just as quietly.

“May I…” she started, propping herself up on her elbow and looking down at Lena, her gaze dropping to Lena’s lips before looking back up and into the most beautiful green eyes she’d ever seen.

“I think I’ll just die if you don’t,” Lena whispered.

Kara leaned down gently and cupped Lena’s face in her hand, running her thumb across Lena’s lips, before touching her lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, slow and gentle, and Lena reached up to pull Kara down closer to her, keeping her hand in Kara’s hair, her other hand still tangled with Kara’s beneath the covers. Lena deepened the kiss, her tongue brushing against Kara’s bottom lip. Kara sighed against Lena, allowing her the entrance she wanted. Lena tasted of mint, making Kara smile. Lena’s kiss was tender, still slow, her tongue gently probing, her lips moving cautiously against Kara’s. Kara slipped her hand back into Lena’s silky hair, before increasing the pressure of her lips and moaning slightly.

Kissing Lena again was everything and nothing like Kara remembered. Lena was at once softer, gentler, than she remembered, and yet, as Kara’s hand left Lena’s face and came to rest on her waist, Lena groaned in a way she’d never heard before. In a way that made Kara only kiss her harder.

Kara was desperate to touch Lena’s skin, to find out whether it was sensitive, to know how it would taste, to pull sounds from Lena that she knew would leave her breathless and wanting more.

When she felt Lena’s hands start to play with the hem of her pajama top, Kara broke the kiss, pulling only scant millimeters away from Lena, resting their foreheads together as they tried to get their breathing under control. Lena kissed her once more, briefly, and lay back, pulling Kara with her.

Kara went willingly into the embrace Lena offered her, pulling the duvet up to cover them both before wrapping her arm around Lena’s waist. She smiled happily into Lena’s collarbone, inhaling the clean scent of her. Kara could feel Lena stroking her hair and her fingers on her shoulder, and Kara busied herself by running her thumb against the skin at Lena’s waist where her top had ridden up slightly. They didn’t feel like they needed to fill the silence, and neither pushed for any more contact than they already had. Eventually, Kara yawned and felt herself grow sleepy.

Lena dropped a kiss to Kara’s forehead. “Goodnight, darling,” Lena murmured.

Just before she dropped off, she wondered momentarily about Lena’s jetlag, which she surely must still have, before deciding that if holding her was what Lena wanted to do with her time, then she would let her. For the good of humankind, but especially for Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the rating change from T to M for the next chapter :)
> 
> Once again, thanks for reading this and for leaving your lovely comments! <3 I appreciate you all so much!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the rating change to M for the second half of this chapter :)

The next morning, a Tuesday, Kara woke up on her back. During the night, they had reversed positions. Dimly, she realized that her head wasn’t resting on her pillow. She didn’t usually sleep on her back, and her muscles protested at the awkward position that they must’ve held for longer than she was used to. However, when she risked a look downwards, she found that she had no desire to move at all.

Lena was sprawled across the bed. Kara herself had her head in the top corner, her pillow missing. Lena had her head in that space between her shoulder and her chest, and Kara’s arm was wrapped around her shoulders. The rest of Lena’s body was spread out in the space where Kara’s body would usually have been; the only part of Lena that was touching Kara was her head and one of her arms, slung across her waist, under her pajama top, gripping her hip gently in her sleep. The rest of her was starfished, and she was lying on her front. It looked extremely uncomfortable, but Lena was evidently not aware of it. She was snoring gently against Kara’s chest, her fingers occasionally tightening and releasing Kara’s hip.

Kara reached blindly behind her to grab her cell to check the time, and discovered that she still had an hour to go before her alarm went off. She shuffled down the bed a little more, smiling at Lena’s groan of protest, and pulled her against her chest. Lena wrapped herself around her like a koala without waking up, and continued snoring quietly.

Dark hair tickled her nose as she breathed in, and she still didn’t feel as comfortable as she could do, but when she felt the call of sleep, Kara succumbed, surrounded by warmth, contentment, and Lena.

 

* * * * *

 

When her alarm went off a little later, Kara turned it off and blearily opened her eyes. She found Lena idly drawing shapes on her waist with her fingertips. When Kara let out a jaw-cracking yawn, she felt, rather than heard, Lena chuckling, before she splayed her hand directly over Kara’s abdomen and all of a sudden, she was definitely very awake.

She reached over and ran her hand down Lena’s hair, which was mussed from sleep, and Lena looked up at her, her sleepy eyes soft.

“Good morning,” she murmured, a tired smile on her face.

“Hi,” Kara replied, sitting up slightly and bringing Lena up with her, before kissing Lena gently, both of them smiling into it. “I wish we could stay in bed and cuddle, but unfortunately, duty calls.”

“You’ve got to go to work? What time is it?” Lena looked around for her cell, looking slightly bemused as to why they were a lot further down the bed than they would ordinarily be.

Kara noticed her confusion, and laughed. “Don’t look at me, you brought us down here in the night,” Kara said, loving the way Lena’s nose scrunched at the information. “And it’s 7:15am. I have to go in slightly earlier today because I didn’t do the stock order yesterday. Do you want to stay here?”

“No, no I’ll – I’ll come with you, if you don’t mind? I don’t want to get cabin fever, and I’d like to see more of the place you work.”

No, Kara didn’t mind at all, but she foresaw a slight problem. “Lena,” she started, the dark-haired woman looking up at the sound of her name. “This may seem like a strange question, but… do you have any clothes? I mean, under- um, underwear and stuff?”

Lena stared at her in tired confusion before starting to laugh. “Kara. Did you really think I’d brought nothing with me? I did have a backpack with me when I arrived.”

“Sure, but… what was in it?”

“Underwear!”

“What, just a bag of underwear and nothing else?” Kara asked incredulously.

“Of _course_ not,” Lena replied with a grin. “My laptop is in there as well. Spare cell, chargers, the script, etc. It is true that the only clothes I brought with me were what I was wearing and the underwear in the backpack.” Her face looked more pensive all of a sudden. “I didn’t really… expect you to let me stay here. I mean, I wanted to see you, and you were really the first person I thought of when- when I needed to be around someone, but I fully expected you to show me the door afterwards. I was going to stay in a hotel and ask my assistant to bring me some pajamas and things.”

“Oh, Lena,” Kara chastised slightly. “I might have been a bit hurt and cross, but did you really think I’d throw you out on your ass for something that wasn’t your fault?”

“Well, I- I hoped you wouldn’t, but you’re continually surprising me with your kindness, Kara. I think perhaps I haven’t been shown genuine kindness in so long I’d forgotten what it looked like. Anyway,” she said suddenly, chasing away the solemn look that had passed over her face with a smile, “if you have something I can borrow, can I come to the shop with you?”

“Sure,” Kara said, sitting up. “Er, Lena?”

“Mmh?”

“You have to let go of me so I can get up.”

“But what if I don’t want to?” Lena asked in a low voice with a grin, before pulling Kara back down and soundly kissing her, both hands cradling her face. The kiss was passionate, and both of them were breathing heavily when Lena released her, her eyes darkened. “Okay, up you get,” she said, her voice cracking, the want in it very clear.

Kara had never wanted to leave her bed less in her life when there was a very seductive-looking Lena Luthor lying in it, stretching out like a cat, pale skin glowing in the light of the morning. Kara groaned and Lena laughed, pushing her slightly so that Kara would actually get up.

Kara stumbled over to her closet, rifling through it quickly to find some inconspicuous-looking clothes that Lena could wear without drawing too much attention to herself. She glanced over at Lena, appraising her as she sat up in the bed, before pulling out a few t-shirts and a pair of jeans that might fit, even if they may be a little long.

Lena climbed gracefully out of bed, before covering a yawn with her hand, and tousled her hair. “I think I’m going to take a shower. Is that okay?” she asked.

“Sure, go for it.”

While Lena was in the shower, Kara got dressed and brushed her teeth in Alex’s bathroom. Each of them had a toothbrush and paste in each other’s bathrooms, just in case someone had a guest or if Alex was in the mood for a bath rather than a shower. Kara was very glad about the arrangement this morning as she spat toothpaste into the sink. Looking into the mirror, she was happy she didn’t appear to have any bags under her eyes.

Back in her bedroom, she laid out the clothes for Lena on her bed, and headed downstairs to make some coffee for them both, and threw together a fruit salad for Lena with what Alex had brought over the night before. She poured a bowl of chocolate cereal for herself, because if pancakes weren’t available, cereal would have to do.

Lena came down the stairs wearing the jeans Kara picked out and a black X-Files t-shirt that Winn had bought her for her birthday a few years ago. Looking at Lena though, Kara coughed on her cereal. As the jeans were a little long, as she thought they might be, Lena had borrowed a pair of Kara’s heels, which made the jeans fit... very well. Her hair was still wet, so it hung around her shoulders, and she’d put her sunglasses on her head. She looked casual, but put-together in a way that Kara had never managed, even with the wet hair.

“Hey Kara,” Lena said, in a voice that didn’t quite sound like her own. “In order to sort of blend in a little more, I thought I’d be Irish today, okay?” She was fiddling with her cell and putting something in her pocket, and so missed Kara’s mouth hanging agape at the effect the accent had on her. It sounded completely authentic, and Kara felt her stomach clench at the sound.

“Lena…” Kara groaned. “Your-”

Lena looked up and frowned at the look on Kara’s face. “Are you ill?”

“Oh god, no,” Kara burst out in an embarrassed laugh, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Your accent. It’s… well, it’s- I- I haven’t heard you speak like that before.”

“I spent ten years in boarding schools in Ireland until I started university,” Lena explained. “I thought I’d told you? I was in Ireland for the majority of a decade, save the summer holidays. I was very young when I first went there, so I naturally picked up the accent. I picked up an American one when I started university here, and so now, they’re both as natural as each other. But I do find that the Irish slips out more often than I expect it to.”

Kara snapped her mouth shut with an audible click. “You did tell me, but…” she trailed off.

Lena gave her a curious look. “Do you… like it?” she asked, a wry smile on her face.

The uncontrollable grin on Kara’s face surely gave Lena the answer she wanted, and if the answering smile that she received was any indication, the message was received loud and clear. Kara picked up her work keys and they headed out towards the shop, which was just around the block. Lena slipped the sunglasses onto her face, and although the streets were busy with people on their way to work, nobody stopped them.

Kara unlocked Candlelight Bookstore and let them both in, closing and locking the door behind them. Kara walked over to the switches for the energy-saving overhead lights and flipped them on, and showed Lena around. Lena followed her around attentively, asking questions about the types of books in each section, and running her hand along the backs of the leather armchairs. Once they reached the storeroom, Kara filled a watering jug and handed it to Lena, who looked at Kara questioningly.

“Well, go make yourself useful, Luthor,” she smiled. “The succulents need watering today.”

The smile Lena gave her in response was slow, lazy, and just a little bit predatory, and it made Kara’s knees weak. _Who_ had a reaction like that to being told they were going to water the plants, anyway?

Lena stepped closer, swept a hand up Kara’s neck and tipped her chin up so that blue eyes met green. “I like it when you take charge,” she said in a sultry voice, and then rubbed her thumb over Kara’s lips. Just as Kara leaned forward to kiss her, Lena stepped away, and went back out into the shop to do as she was told. Kara gripped the back of the spindly chair and took a few deep breaths before steeling herself and going back out into the shop. The stock had to be done whether her heart was in it or not. The fact that Lena had kicked off her shoes and was scaling up the indoor ladder all over the shop to water the plants she was too short to reach was very distracting, and Kara, once again, almost ordered an obscene number of copies of _Curious Wine_.

Once the shop was open, Lena stuck to the chair in the front of the store a little more where she could get away with wearing sunglasses indoors, lounging in one of the armchairs and reading the books. Her hair had dried into messy waves, tumbling down her back in a way that put Kara in mind of a sorceress. A sexy sorceress, obviously. Midway through the morning, after she’d eaten the fruit salad Kara had made her, Lena went online and ordered a takeaway from Eliza’s diner, which she’d made Kara tell her the name of. When Kara wondered why the use of a card with her name on it didn’t bring the press running, Lena explained that her card was in her birth name of Lena Kieran, and nobody had ever picked up on it, especially not when the person collecting whatever was ordered had an Irish accent. Kara’s eyes had lit up, though, at the sight of a few stacks of pancakes with her name on and a large coffee with extra sugar.

Nobody bothered Lena all morning, Kara got her stock order done, and the day passed pleasantly. Lena ordered Thai food in for lunch, which they ate in the back room, Kara glancing out of the door into the shop every few minutes to keep an eye on things. If both Kara and Lena happened to shoot each other multiple glances throughout the day, what of it? In the afternoon just before closing, one customer stopped what she was doing to Lena about the book she was reading, and upon hearing her accent, sat down to talk with her about Ireland and the trips the customer had made there over the years. Kara was torn between giggling or going over there to save Lena when she shot her a _help me_ look, but the customer stood up just as she was about to go over, and handed Lena a piece of paper. Lena sheepishly showed her the number on it, before Kara locked the store, pulled her out into the storeroom, and kissed her in a way that left Lena breathless and Kara wiping the corner of her mouth before heading back out into the shop to close up.

On the way back home, Kara stopped Lena, who was carrying a bag of books she’d bought throughout the day. “Would you like to go out for dinner somewhere, or should we cook?” Her eyes went up to Lena’s sunglasses, which she was still wearing. “You won’t be able to wear them indoors. Your cover will be blown,” she added with amusement. “We’d have to get you a wide-brimmed hat and a trenchcoat instead. Or maybe a cape you could throw over your shoulders.”

Lena laughed at the image Kara conjured and considered the question before deciding on cooking at home. They stopped in at the 7/11 and picked up the ingredients for a stir fry, neither of them remembering exactly what Alex had brought home the night before. It turned out that Lena was quite at ease in the kitchen, tossing the ingredients together with no problem, even if it was a fairly simple meal. Kara had tried to help, but had just spilled the rice all over the counter, and Lena sent her into the lounge to keep out of the way.

When Alex came home later, she didn’t look surprised to find Kara and Lena sitting together on the sofa, Kara leaning back in Lena’s lap as they watched some mindless TV that neither of them were focused on. Kara waved at Alex when she popped her head into the lounge, and Lena made to move, but Kara kept her in place with a hand resting on her calf.

Lena’s jetlag appeared to have been righting itself over the course of the day, the early morning she hadn’t been expecting taking its toll on her energy levels as the day progressed. The fact she’d spent so much of it reading had also tired her mind out, and by the time Kara got back from her shower, Lena was already fast asleep on top of the duvet. She grumbled when Kara made her get under the covers, but snuggled happily against her when Kara climbed into bed herself.

 

* * * * *

 

The next few days passed in much the same way as Tuesday. Kara always woke up to find Lena pressed up against her in some way; her face pushed into the crook of her neck and one leg thrown over her calves, her arm encircling her waist, Lena always being the big spoon. They had decided over breakfast on Wednesday morning that Lena would stay for at least that week; because the photos had really taken off, much to Lena’s upset, Kara suggested that Lena stay for a little while until the media interest died down. This was definitely one of those times both of them were grateful for the short attention span modern media seemed to have when it came to nudity; they both hoped that it would be old news very soon. Lena, of course, knew that they would circulate forever, and that she’d never truly get away from them being dredged up whenever a new film of hers came out. But, she told herself and Kara, at least it wasn’t the video that was circulating. Her team called her every day with updates about it, the websites they’d found it on, and the lawsuits they threatened the websites with if they didn’t remove it.

Lena’s team had informed her that the press had been swarming around her apartment building, hoping to get a glimpse of her during this time. They were of course aware that there was a video they didn’t have access to, but it made a good, quick story for them, and they were happy to wait around. This was why Kara suggested Lena stay a little longer.

Kara had to work every day that week except for Friday, so they got into a routine. They sleepily dressed themselves and Lena cooked them a fried breakfast, chopped up fruit, and made them salads for lunch. Alex was home most mornings as well, so she also benefited. When Lena cooked the fried breakfast, Kara tried to get Lena to eat as much bacon as she herself did. Much to Kara’s horror, Lena seemed content with two pieces, her sunnyside up eggs, and her dry toast. On their way to the bookstore, Kara wondered what kind of person didn’t put butter on their toast, but then Lena kissed her on the cheek and slipped her hand into hers on the street, and she forgot all about it. Was butter so necessary, really?

In the evenings, they read books or watched TV shows, curled up on the sofa together. Their makeout sessions had been growing more regular, and growing bolder. When they returned home from the bookstore on Wednesday, at which Lena had been offered not one number but two by hopeful customers, Kara pulled Lena flush against her as soon as the door was closed, and poured her feelings into a kiss that left them both grasping at each other’s clothes before Alex and Maggie came through the door behind them.

After dinner, which Alex cooked, they all sat together in the lounge and watched _Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon_ , because it was Maggie’s turn to choose a film. Kara had never seen it before, but given the fact that Lena had her hand on her thigh underneath the blanket, she couldn’t remember a single detail of the plot once the film had finished. On Thursday evening, Alex was still home and Maggie came over again, it was Kara’s turn to choose, so they watched Audrey Hepburn in _Charade_ , all of them laughing at the antics and dialogue onscreen.

The fact that Lena Luthor was staying with them was now almost a mundane fact. Lena had settled into the life of the home with no more difficulty than any other one of their friends, and Kara couldn’t be happier about it. When she wasn’t worrying about the photos and the videos, Lena was perfectly content to read books, do chores, go to work with Kara, help in the shop if it was possible for her to do so without revealing herself, take baths, order the shopping, or any other number of perfectly ordinary things. Kara still helped Lena with the lines for her film, sometimes roping in either Alex or Maggie if either happened to be home, and often they would drink glasses of wine while they rehearsed. They more often than not spent most of the time laughing at Kara’s antics, or at Maggie’s serious face while she concentrated on some emotional dialogue.

It doesn’t take much effort, Kara had come to realize during her stay, to make Lena Luthor happy. For a woman who could have absolutely anything she wanted, she was satisfied with the simplest of things.

By Thursday night, both Kara and Lena were more comfortable climbing into bed with each other. Kara would open her arms, and Lena curled up in them, content for now to be close to each other without pushing anything further. That night, they went to sleep in the small hours, staying up late talking about many things. Kara talked about her parents, showed Lena photos of them that she kept in a box under her bed. She shared stories of her childhood while Lena held her hand, and Lena told her about Lex, how she felt when her life was turned upside down when the brother she loved more than anyone else dropped so far off the deep end that she couldn’t catch him.

It was strange, Kara thought, holding Lena in the dark while they talked; they hadn’t known each other long, but Lena already felt like her best friend. She always felt Lena’s eyes on her, she always knew Lena was about there with a joke or a sarcastic comment about something. Lena’s hands always seemed to find her, to touch her in some way. She would brush her hand against Kara’s lower back, she wasn’t shy about holding Kara’s hand either in front of Alex or in the street, and was free with her hugs. Kara knew she was seeing the real Lena, or the Lena as she wished herself to be. She was quiet, almost shy, and Kara delighted in the fact that it seemed so easy to make Lena blush.

The knowledge of how they felt about each other swirled around them like a perfume. It was there in the ways their voices cracked when one of them toed too close to the invisible line that neither of them put there but both respected. It was there when Kara twisted Lena’s hair in her fingers absentmindedly while they watched TV. It was present whenever Kara found some clothes for Lena to wear. It was there when Lena always made sure to order something extra-sweet for Kara at least once a day. But it was also in the way that Kara’s knees felt weak whenever Lena looked at her, in the adrenaline that rushed through her whenever green eyes focused on blue, and in the way that Lena looked flustered whenever Kara looked right back at her.

But one day soon, Kara knew the line would be crossed. She wondered which of them would be the braver one.

 

* * * * *

 

It was only an hour after they’d both fallen asleep when Kara woke up with Lena breathing softly into her shoulder blades. Her whole body was stretched up against Kara’s back, one leg between Kara’s, the bare skin of their calves touching like the first morning. But now, Kara was aware something was different. For one, Lena’s arm was not just over her waist; her hand was inside Kara’s pajama top, her hand spread possessively against Kara’s abdomen, as if in her dream she was dirty dancing with Kara and pulling her close. Kara’s muscles flexed under Lena’s fingertips.

Lena shifted against Kara, moving slightly up her body. Lena’s breath was now hot against the back of Kara’s neck, and her skin felt warm and sensitive all over. All of a sudden, her skin was on fire. When Lena moved, her lips brushed Kara’s neck, and Kara inhaled sharply before letting out a shuddering breath. Her body had dialed itself up from 0-60 in a matter of seconds. Kara squeezed her eyes closed and tried to concentrate on controlling her breathing, but it was so, _so_ difficult with Lena just… being Lena.

Lena moved again, and a breath on her skin was followed by a brush of Lena’s lips. Kara froze as she felt Lena nuzzle against her, her hand tightening against Kara’s abdomen, and- and that was a definite kiss against the back of Kara’s neck, and Kara started to shake. She had no idea whether Lena was awake, but Kara was sure she herself was awake – she pinched her arm just to make sure.

Definitely awake, and definitely trying to prevent her body from squirming under Lena’s touch.

“Lena,” she whispered, reaching her own hand under her top to rest on top of Lena’s. “Lena… are you awake?”

“Mmhmm,” Lena murmured against her neck, brushing another kiss against Kara’s sensitive skin. Kara could hear that Lena’s breathing was slightly laboured. Kara fought with herself about whether she should turn over, the adrenaline rushing through her body threatening action any second. But when she felt the gentle touch of Lena’s tongue in a third kiss to her neck, Kara groaned and rolled over, pulling a startled Lena with her, and pressing her fingers against the small of Lena’s back. Lena took the hint, and moved her legs so that she was straddling Kara, both of them fully awake.

Dark blue eyes met dark green ones, and Lena bit her lip shyly as she looked down. Kara reached up and pushed her hands into dark, satin hair. “Lena,” Kara breathed, before she sat up and crushed her lips to Lena’s, moaning as Lena pushed back, asked for entrance and was granted it straight away. Lena pressed her backwards gently until Kara’s back hit the bed, and dark hair tickled the tops of her arms as Kara cupped Lena’s face, and then the back of her neck as she tugged her closer. Lena groaned loudly when Kara pushed her tongue into her mouth, her breath hitching as their kisses grew more urgent. For Kara, Lena was a feast for the senses. The sounds she was making, the unsteady breathing, the way she tasted, the way her hands now tangled in both of Kara’s, pressing them both into the mattress by the side of Kara’s head, the way Lena was clearly trying to hold herself back when her hips began to slowly rock into Kara’s.

Kara broke the kiss, reached up and brushed Lena’s hair away from her face, gradually revealing the porcelain skin that was glowing in the moonlight that shone through the cracks in the curtains. Even in that dim light, Kara could see Lena’s cheeks were flushed with desire. Could see that her pupils were wide. Could see that Lena, like this, with messy hair and kiss-swollen lips, was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. And she needed to see more of her.

Kara grinned wickedly before flipping them back over to Lena’s side of the bed with her hips, so that Kara was on top, sitting in Lena’s lap.

“Kara!” Lena burst out, letting out what was maybe the most adorable giggle she’d heard Lena do yet. Kara leaned across and flipped the light on the nightstand on, before she looked down. Lena’s hair was spread out over the pillow, her hands resting on Kara’s forearms, thumbs moving over her skin. The smile on Lena’s face as she looked up, green eyes shining, was stunning.

“I’m sorry, I just… had to see you,” Kara murmured, running a finger down Lena’s face, along her jaw, and then her whole palm on her collarbone, looking at her with wonderment. “You’re so beautiful, Lena,” she said. “Everything about you is… wonderful. And I- I want-”

Lena leaned up and cut Kara off with a kiss, and then, without taking her eyes off Kara’s, she slowly started pushing the straps of Kara’s top from her shoulders, biting her bottom lip again. Kara reached down and pulled her top over her head, baring herself to Lena for the first time. Lena’s eyes shone as she brushed her fingers over Kara’s breasts for the first time, her touch gentle, reverent, like their first kiss had been.

At the first touch of Lena’s mouth on the skin of her chest, Kara threw her head back, even as she held Lena’s close, digging her fingers into Lena’s hair and pushing herself closer to her, letting out a moan as Lena moved from one breast to the other, her tongue and lips lavishing attention on one while making sure her hand paid the same attention to the other. When Lena gently bit down on her nipple, chasing the slight burn with her tongue, Kara choked on nothing, and pulled Lena’s face to hers, pouring all the passion she had into the kiss.

Lena scrabbled at the bottom of her own top before breaking the kiss briefly before ripping it off and throwing it to the side, quickly followed by her sleep shorts, leaving her in only a tiny pair of panties. She tied her hair into a loose, messy ponytail, and pushed Kara backwards onto the bed, Kara groaning at the first touch of skin on skin as Lena lay between Kara’s legs. Kara still had her shorts on, but Lena didn’t seem to mind as she trailed her hand tortuously slowly up Kara’s thigh, across her abdomen, and up between her breasts, her fingertips leaving a trail of fiery skin in their wake, before languidly kissing Kara.

The air around them grew hotter as they mapped each other’s bodies with lips, hands, and tongues. They left dark spots on each other’s skin with their mouths, the little possessive marks symbols of their feelings.

Kara lay back at Lena’s behest, her lips and hands seemed to be everywhere, and Kara couldn’t tell if there was some kind of pattern to where she was touching her. Kara ran the palms of her hands down Lena’s back, and when she dragged her nails against Lena’s skin on the way back up, Lena’s whole body started to shake. Loving the way Lena reacted, Kara repeated her actions, watching the way Lena squeezed her eyes shut and her breath hitched. Immediately, Lena pressed Kara hard to the bed with her hips, both of them groaning into each other’s mouths. Lena kept up the pressure for a few seconds before starting to rock her hips against Kara’s, slowly at first, but as Kara nipped and sucked at the skin of Lena’s breasts, leaving little marks behind, the speed increased, and Lena whimpered into Kara’s mouth.

“Kara,” she whispered desperately, her low voice unsteady. “I want to- can I…” and Kara felt her pushing gently at the side of her shorts.

“Yes,” Kara breathed, “please, Lena-”

Lena moved down the bed, hooking fingers into the waistband of the shorts and dragging them slowly down, her breath catching in her throat when she saw that Kara wasn’t wearing any panties. Kara swallowed at the hungry look on Lena’s face, felt the air cool against her heated, wet skin as Lena pushed her legs apart.

Lena bit her lip as she reached up and scratched her nails down Kara’s taut abdomen, stopping as she reached neat blonde curls, causing Kara to moan and her legs to tremble. “Lena-”

“Kara, darling,” Lena murmured, as she moved both hands slowly up the inside of Kara’s thighs, dragging her nails up sensitive skin. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you look right now?” she asked, pushing Kara’s legs apart even further.

“Lena, please-” Kara tried.

Kara watched Lena move, and her eyes slammed shut as she felt her lips where her hands had just been, kissing a trail up the inside of her right thigh, nipping the skin lightly and soothing the bite with a lick of her tongue. Kara squirmed beneath Lena’s gentle ministrations, able to feel Lena’s breath close to where she needed her most. She was already close.

“You’re so wet, Kara,” Lena whispered in a voice full of awe, and without warning, swiped her tongue up into Kara’s soaking wet folds. Kara sucked in a gasp and clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the loud groan that burst out of her as Lena’s soft tongue moved against her. When she felt Lena push two fingers inside her at the same time as wrapping her mouth around her clit and sucking gently, Kara cried out loud and she felt her back arch.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Kara hissed, clamping a hand as best she could to the back of Lena’s head in an effort to pull her even closer. Lena responded by curling her fingers deep inside Kara and sucking a little harder, before flicking the tip of her tongue against her clit. Kara’s breath was coming faster and faster, and Lena had to hold her down with one hand. When Lena started to push her fingers in and out, curling them, coaxing her towards the edge of the cliff, Kara squeezed her eyes shut as waves of pleasure rushed through her body. As Lena pushed a third finger into her, Kara held her breath, and as Lena dragged her tongue through her wetness, flattening it against her clit and curling her fingers, Kara looked down. Green eyes looked up and met blue, and Kara fell over the edge. She cried out and tightened her grip almost painfully in Lena’s hair as her orgasm ripped through her, muscles tight around Lena’s fingers.

Lena pressed a last kiss to the inside of Kara’s thigh and gently pulled her fingers out once she was sure Kara was done, and Kara looked up at her as Lena knelt up. Lena had a pleased smile on her face as she looked down at Kara, rubbing her palm on her calf soothingly.

“Come here,” Kara said, holding her hand out to Lena, pulling her down onto her chest. Kara reached up and pulled the hairband out of Lena’s hair, letting it fall around her face, and brushing it behind her ears. “That was incredible,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around Lena’s body and cradling her before giving her a deep kiss.

“ _You_ are incredible, Kara Danvers,” Lena murmured. “That was wonderful to watch, to feel...”

Kara rolled them over and looked down at Lena, running a finger down her face and across her lips. “You’re the wonderful one here, Lena,” she said assertively. When Lena reached her hands up to touch Kara, Kara gently pushed her hands back down to the bed, moving her hands softly down to her wrists, holding them down. When Lena tried to reach up to kiss her, Kara pulled away, causing Lena to huff out a breath in frustration. When she was denied the third time, Lena caught the wicked glint in Kara’s eyes.

Kara moved down Lena’s body, trailing kisses and her nails across her pale skin, finding all the places that caused Lena’s breath to hitch, which soft parts made her grasp desperately at Kara’s hair or hands and moan, and the little spot on her abdomen which made her laugh. It turned out that Lena was ticklish, and Kara was thrilled as she filed that information away for another time. When she reached Lena’s panties, Kara ran her hands firmly up the outsides of Lena’s thighs, and pressed a kiss to Lena’s hip as she pulled the panties slowly down her legs.

Lena gasped Kara’s name and immediately her hands came down, tangling her fingers in Kara’s hair. Kara chuckled and crawled slowly back up Lena’s body, inserting herself between her legs and moving them apart with her knees. As she moved, she could feel against her stomach, then her abdomen, how wet Lena was. How ready she was. Kara inhaled sharply at the slick feeling and looked down to see Lena’s eyes, by now almost black with desire as she crashed their lips together, Lena’s mouth warm and wet on hers, Lena’s fingers tight in her hair and her hips moving up to meet Kara’s. They rocked together, Lena trying to increase the speed and pressure, Kara not letting her.

Kara pressed Lena to the bed with her hips and pulled her hands from her hair, holding them down gently against the mattress above Lena’s head. A low groan sounded from Lena’s throat, and Kara pressed her hips down harder in response. She took a moment to look down at the beautiful woman beneath her. Her hair was spread messily around her head, her pale skin marred with suck marks, her cheeks flushed, green eyes dark and fixed on Kara.

“Kara,” Lena breathed unsteadily, “please…”

“Please what?” Kara whispered, nipping the skin at the base of Lena’s neck and then soothing it with her tongue. Lena sighed and tried to reach for Kara, but Kara’s hands gently encircled her wrists.

“I-”

Kara kissed her, hard, and Lena immediately wrapped her left leg around Kara’s middle, trying to pull her as close as she could, to get some relief from the ache Kara hadn’t attempted to ease. Kara let go of Lena’s wrists, snaked a hand between their bodies, down and down, until she reached dark curls.

“Is there something you want from me?” Kara asked Lena, who squeezed her eyes shut and pulled Kara’s face to hers.

“Yes,” she murmured against Kara’s lips, kissing her briefly.

Kara slipped her fingers lower, finally gliding them through Lena’s slick folds, and Lena almost _relaxed_ beneath her, sighing loudly in relief as Kara moved around through the softness. “ _Lena_ ,” Kara whispered in awe, “you’re so beautiful like this, open like this- you’ve no idea-” and with that Kara kissed Lena, feeling how Lena’s breath hitched as Kara’s finger touched her clit, once, twice, and then moved down to push inside her. Lena’s hips jumped to meet hers, and Kara’s fingers slid inside her easily, Lena’s body drawing her in. Kara gasped into Lena’s mouth when Lena clenched around her fingers, and the brunette took the opportunity to bite Kara’s lower lip.

They moved together, hips meeting and moving in tandem, Kara’s fingers pulling and pushing into Lena as the latter groaned and touched Kara everywhere she could. Kara felt hands on her back, fingernails scratching lines and digging into her, running down her arm, and once, when Kara had glanced down too long, Lena’s hands tangled almost painfully in her hair and pulled, forcing Kara to look up, Lena kissing her fiercely.

Kara thought that seeing Lena like this was the best sight her eyes had ever seen. Lena was lost in sensation beneath her, and she couldn’t believe that she was so responsive – every little touch, every bite, every stroke through the silk between her legs, every time a finger or thumb brushed her clit, every time her fingertips touched the little spot inside her, Lena’s breath changed. She gasped, she sighed, she breathed Kara’s name, and Kara delighted in pulling these sounds from her. When the wrist Kara was using to balance herself moved close enough to her face, Lena turned her head to kiss it gently.

When she felt Lena’s muscles start to contract around her fingers, Lena slid her own hand down between her legs, moving her fingers between Kara’s, before bringing them back up and touching Kara’s lips gently. Kara met her fingers with her tongue, tasting Lena for the first time, and groaned loudly. Swiftly, she moved down Lena’s body and slid her fingers almost all the way out. She heard Lena huff in frustration, but then Kara pushed her fingers back in, and at the same time, wrapped her lips around Lena’s clit and sucked.

Lena came with a wordless shout, her back arching, body shuddering around Kara’s fingers and mouth, her nails digging into Kara’s shoulder. Kara drew Lena’s pleasure out as long as she could, flicking her tongue over Lena’s clit, her fingers massaging that spot inside her. When Lena finally went boneless, Kara gently slid her fingers out and crawled back up Lena’s body, stopping to kiss her every few centimetres, before lying next to her and pulling her into her arms. Lena came willingly, moving a slightly shaking hand up to rest on Kara’s face before giving her soft, open-mouthed kisses.

“That- it was-” Lena started, before smiling lazily against Kara’s lips and kissing her again.

“I know,” Kara murmured, laying Lena’s head against her chest. They lay there quietly together, Lena recovering her breathing, and running her hand across Kara’s side and abdomen. Kara stroked her fingers through long, dark hair, sometimes scratching Lena’s scalp gently.

“Mmmmm,” Lena sighed, “you’re giving me goosebumps.”

Kara laughed at that, Lena offering a sheepish smile. “After everything we just did, _that_ was what gave you goosebumps?” she teased.

Lena buried her face into Kara’s neck. “My darling,” Lena said in a low voice, the pet name making Kara’s heart skip a beat, “it was unbelievable. _You_ were amazing. And to think you’ve been hiding away in a bookshop. I don’t know why nobody’s snapped you up. Everything about you is precious. Every woman in New York must be crazy.” She tightened her hand on Kara’s hip, and in a different voice, she continued, “including me for the last however many years.”

Kara smiled. “You’re here with me now, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Lena said in a contented voice, planting a kiss on Kara’s collarbone. “And I don’t think I’ve ever personally been happier about anything. If I’m not careful…” she trailed off.

“Careful? About what?”

Lena looked up, her green eyes shining with emotion, and a bashful look on her face. “You’re going to run away with my heart, Kara Danvers,” she said quietly, before pressing a tender kiss to Kara’s lips.

Kara was moved by Lena’s words. Truth be told, Kara already knew she felt more strongly about Lena than any other girl she’d had relationships with in the last little while. She was so used to keeping herself back from people now, having her kind nature be taken advantage of once too many times. But, she thought as Lena curled herself around Kara, she hadn’t noticed Lena sneaking under all her defences with her smiles, her gentle touches, her willingness to be open. It was Lena dressed in casual clothes. It was Lena asking questions about her job, making so much effort with Alex and Maggie. It was Lena putting herself out there almost since they first met, putting her trust in a total stranger. Going to games night with Kara’s friends. It was her kisses, her strength, her fortitude, her intelligence. A beautiful face was the very least that Lena Luthor was. She was so much more than that, and Kara knew her own heart was in trouble.

Kara sat up, Lena’s hair falling like a curtain across both of them. “Come here,” she said, and once they had shuffled back up to the top of the bed and turned the light off, Kara had pulled the duvet back over them, she spooned Lena from behind, pulling Lena right up against her chest and tucking their knees together. She left a trail of kisses along the back of Lena’s shoulder as Lena drifted off to sleep, loving the feel of her in her arms, the feeling of their skin touching everywhere.

When Kara was sure Lena was asleep, she sent the words out softly into the darkness. “You’re already running away with mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> Thank you all again so much for your lovely comments! You're really making me smile <3


	11. Chapter 11

When Kara stirred in the morning, she was, as usual, waking up surrounded by Lena. She had learned that Lena loved to snuggle while she slept, and this morning was no exception. Today, the cover had been kicked almost to the bottom of the bed and she was lying on her side, leaning against Kara, one arm under Kara’s neck, and the other clutching her hip possessively. Her hair was fanned across the pillow, and her face was tilted towards Kara, her lips still looking a little swollen.

A wide smile stretched across her face as the memories of the middle of the night washed through her mind. After they’d fallen asleep, Lena had woken up again two hours later, and kissed Kara gently on the cheek. Kara had been awake in an instant and had rolled almost on top of Lena. Both of them had laughed into their kisses and they’d made love again, frantically at first, and then tenderly, until the earliest light of dawn had peeked through the curtains.

Kara stretched and felt the delicious burn in her muscles, enjoying the feel of it and the knowledge of who had caused it even more. She looked over at Lena, sweeping her eyes down as far as she could see without moving. On Lena’s neck, chest, and parts of her stomach were several little love bites and suck marks that had remained, as they’d grown bolder throughout the night. Kara knew without looking that her own body had even more marks on it, and she enjoyed the thought of being claimed by Lena in that way. It was funny, she thought. She’d never liked that feeling before, but with Lena, it was different. Everything with Lena was different. Kara felt like her whole body was smiling.

Grabbing her phone from the nightstand, she opened her messaging app.

**Kara:** _Good morning Alexandra!!!!_

**Alex:** _You got laid didn’t you_

**Kara:** _Alex!_

**Kara:** _Maaaaybe_

**Alex:** _You deserve this happiness, Kara. You both do :)_

Kara smiled at her phone. Trust Alex to be supportive; she’d never truly known her to be anything but. Kara adored her sister. She could make any bad situation better, and any good situation the best.

**Kara:** _Thanks Alex!!! I’m excited! This feels so different_

**Alex:** _Let me know when the wedding is_

**Kara:** _Alex!! By the what time do you finish working today? We’ll try to be dressed by that time!! ;) do you want to go out for dinner, the four of us?_

Lena snuffled a little in her sleep, and Kara looked over at her. In sleep, Lena’s face lost some of the sharpness that her jaw and cheekbones afforded it. She was soft. Kara put her phone on the nightstand and leant and kissed the tip of Lena’s nose, causing Lena to wake up.

“Good morning, darling,” she mumbled in a croaky voice, before chuckling and clearing her throat. “Let me try that again. Good morning, my darling,” Lena said, stroking her hand down Kara’s face slowly.

Kara smiled and stretched as far as she could, yawning widely. “Good morning Miss Luthor,” she said. “How are you feeling today?”

Lena narrowed her eyes playfully at Kara. “Sore.”

“Oh dear,” Kara said in a pitying voice. “How does a bath sound? Maybe it’ll soothe those aches, old lady.”

Lena slapped Kara’s arm lightly. “You’re older than I am! But a bath does sound good. I’ll race you. See if you can keep up on those doddery old legs of yours.” And, with vigor Kara didn’t know anyone possessed after just waking up, Lena vaulted over her and out of bed, backing towards the door in all her naked glory with a wolfish smile on her face.

Kara slowly kicked the covers off her feet, swung her legs to the edge of the bed, and placed her feet leisurely on the floor. Standing up, she stretched again, luxuriously, this time flexing a little and making sure that she accentuated the parts of her body she knew Lena liked the best. She smirked as she watched Lena’s gaze darken, and walked over to the door, almost backing Lena into it.

When she reached her, Lena looked up at her. Kara placed her hands on Lena’s waist, feeling her twitch under her touch, and Lena sighed, resting her head on Kara’s shoulder. Kara ran her hands up Lena’s torso slowly, taking care to pay extra attention to each of Lena’s breasts as she passed them, before sliding her hands through Lena’s hair and gripping it tightly. They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Lena closed the distance between them and crashed their lips together. Lena’s back hit the door with a thump and a groan as Kara pressed her hips into her, keeping her hands in her hair.

Lena gripped Kara’s ass with her hands, and pulled her flush against her. When she felt Lena bite her lip, she growled and pulled away from the kiss, Lena trying to chase her.

Kara knelt quickly on the floor, balancing Lena with one arm and pulling her left leg over her shoulder. The cry Lena let out and the sound of her hand slapping the door as Kara ran her tongue through Lena’s slick heat was worth the pain the hard floor caused in her knees. And the eventual loud groan of pleasure Lena let out as she came with one hand in Kara’s hair and the other over her mouth was worth Lena winning the race to the door.

 

* * * * *

 

By the time they’d both climbed out of the bath, clean and sated by each other for the moment, Alex still hadn’t responded to her text. Rather than have Alex catch either of them naked, they both put on a new pair of sleep shorts and t-shirts, Lena’s displaying a rainbow wave across the front. Lena fried them a breakfast while Kara laid the table and put some coffee on for both of them. Neither of them bothered to put any shoes on, and just padded around the house, touching each other gently as they passed one another.

Lena had cooked a double portion of bacon for Kara, and yet, even once she’d finished eating all of hers, Lena caught her eyeing up the bacon on her own plate, so she speared it with her fork and passed it over. Kara rewarded her with a kiss to her knuckles, which made Lena blush.

Once breakfast had been eaten, they hadn’t made any plans to go anywhere, so they retired to the lounge. Kara opened the _Fellowship of the Ring_ again, while Lena picked up her script, lay back against Kara, and made little notes in the margins. They passed a quiet couple of hours like this, sipping coffee, occasionally getting up for a snack, and cuddling up with each other.

It was nice, Kara thought. It was more than nice. This seemed like the perfect way to spend a Friday. Kara had always been of the opinion that when a relationship was building, if you were able to sit in comfortable silence with each other, then that was a really good sign. She was perfectly happy to sit here with Lena, enjoying her company. Doing nothing with Lena was… everything. As that thought went through her mind, she put her book down, slid down a little and wrapped her arms around Lena, who threw her script to the end of the sofa and turned until she had one leg either side of Kara’s lap, and planted a little kiss to the corner of Kara’s mouth.

Before long, Kara had pulled Lena’s hair out of the high ponytail she’d put it in and mussed it up for her, Lena protesting without any real conviction, and kissed her deeply. Kara was mindful that Alex could show up at any moment, so didn’t let it go too far on the sofa, but she was thrilled that Lena had forgone a bra this morning, and just as their breathing was getting heavier, was just reaching up Lena’s top, the doorbell rang.

Kara groaned, wondering who it could be; she wasn’t expecting anyone except Alex, and Alex would’ve used her key. At any rate, Lena Luthor was sitting in her lap, so whoever it was could wait. Just as Lena bucked her hips against Kara’s and whispered in her ear that she wanted to take her upstairs, the doorbell rang again. Kara frowned as it rang a third time, glancing at Lena.

“I’m sorry, I should really check to see who that is if they’re being this persistent,” she said, irritation at being interrupted clear in her voice.

“It’s okay,” Lena replied, kissing her gently, and climbing out of Kara’s lap, and holding out her hand to pull Kara up. They walked to the kitchen together, Lena staying in the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water now that she’d worked out how to coax the explosive tap into slaking her thirst. Kara took a look at her; Lena looked delectable standing there in her little pajamas, her hair a disheveled mess, reading glasses on her nose, and a gentle smile on her face. The doorbell rang again, and in her annoyance, Kara didn’t stop to pick up anything to throw over her pajamas before stomping down the hallway, unlocking the door, and throwing it open.

Immediately, a cacophony of noise assaulted her senses as at least thirty people started shouting at once, holding huge cameras up, and the flashes were blinding. Kara was so startled that she just stood there for a couple of seconds before practically diving back inside the house and slamming the door shut, leaning against it heavily. _What the hell?!_

Before she had a chance to move away from the door, or think about the meaning of the loud group of people her frazzled mind assumed were the press, Lena came down the hallway, giving her a quizzical look.

“Who’s there? I heard raised voices. Did someone shout at you?” she asked, sounding both concerned and angry at the thought of someone shouting at Kara.

“N-no,” Kara squeaked, moving away from the door towards Lena.

Lena gave her a look that plainly told her that she didn’t believe her, before darting around the door and reaching for the handle. “I won’t have anyone shouting at you Kara,” she said, turning the handle.

“No, Lena, don’t!” Kara shouted in a panicked voice, but she wasn’t able to reach the door in time to stop Lena from opening it.

Lena pulled the door open to reveal the press. Calls of “Miss Luthor!” and “Lena! Over here!” sounded as flashes went off from the cameras all around them. Lena was a little faster at retreating back into the house and slamming the door. Kara stared at Lena, her arms hanging uselessly at her side.

Kara quailed at the look on Lena’s face; it was a mask of anger, her jaw working, her green eyes bright and clearly furious when she looked quickly at Kara, before she stalked quickly back up the stairs. Kara made sure the door was locked before racing up the stairs after Lena, who had gone into the lounge.

Lena looked at her before passing a hand over her face, then pinching the bridge of her nose. “They got photos of you… looking like that?” she said, not looking at Kara.

“Yes,” Kara said in a small voice.

“And they saw me like this…” Lena said, looking down at herself, the rainbow displayed across her chest, and then across at Kara. “You have hickies on your neck,” she stated flatly. “And I know I do as well. We look like we just got out of bed.” Her voice sounded emotionless, and Kara didn’t like it.

On the sofa, both Lena’s work cell and her personal cell were ringing. Kara only now realized that Lena had outright given Kara her own personal number rather than her work number at the hotel, and the understanding made Kara’s heart thump hard in her chest.

Lena picked up the work cell and answered it with a sharp, “Lena Luthor.” Kara flinched at the severe tone her voice had taken. “Yes, they’ve found out where I am. A house in Williamsburg,” and she rattled off the address. “No, I have no idea how they found out,” she said, glancing over at Kara before turning her attention back to the call. “Someone must have told the press. I can’t do anything about it right now. I’m stuck… yes, they’re swarming outside the door… well, no, I have no idea how long they’ve been there- no, I _don’t_ know,” Lena snapped. Kara felt sorry for whoever was on the other end of the call. Lena’s voice was rising in her upset, her Irish accent slipping in every now and again, but Kara was too alarmed by the sudden circumstances to take any pleasure in it.

 

Kara left Lena to her phone call and went upstairs, her whole body shaking with adrenaline. She wanted to peek out of the window, but didn’t in case someone spotted her. In her bedroom, she picked up her cell that she’d left there earlier, noticing that she had several missed calls from Alex and twelve messages from her asking her to call her immediately, as well as a few messages from Maggie also telling her to call Alex. Hurriedly, she pulled on some jogging bottoms and a hoody before rushing back downstairs. The doorbell sounded like it was being leaned on and Kara considered taking a screwdriver to the electrics just to shut the noise off. Lena was just hanging up the phone when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Lena tossed her phone on the sofa and looked over at her.

“I’m-” Kara started.

“Kara,” Lena said, her voice oddly calm, her face carefully blank, and it put Kara on edge. “I’m sorry, but I have to ask this. Did you tell the press where I was?”

“Of course not! Lena! I wouldn’t do that. Why would I?” Kara asked, knowing that the question needed to be asked, but feeling offended at it anyway. “What possible reason could I have t-”

“Oh, I don’t know. Exposure for yourself, for your shop,” Lena suggested coldly, throwing her hands in the air. “This benefits you in every way. You run an LGBT bookstore. You’re _fucking Lena Luthor_ ,” spitting her own name out as if it tasted bad, “notoriously quiet about her private life. Confirmation that I’m gay would be worth a lot of money to the paparazzi outside. And they’ve got photo evidence-”

Kara felt her own fury rise in her. How could Lena think that she would sell her out like this? “They don’t know what we were doi-” Kara cut in, but Lena interrupted her in turn.

“You have a giant hickie on your neck, Kara. We both look like we just rolled out of bed. They’re going to come to the right conclusion and in the media, they can spin things however they want, _especially_ if they have photos. Trust me, I’m about to be outed on every major news network in this country and beyond, unless my team can shut this down.” Lena started pacing up and down the kitchen, frantically running her hands through her hair, anger twisting her face.

Kara watched Lena pace for a minute, and tried to calm herself down. She knew Lena’s anger was justified, and that she’d had to ask the question. That didn’t stop her feel affronted that Lena had accused her of essentially selling a story about her, using her for her own benefit. She tried to swallow her own feelings about it for a moment.

She stepped in front of Lena, causing her to stop and look up at her. Kara was surprised to see her green eyes swimming in tears. She tried to take Lena’s hand, but Lena shook her off, stepped around her, and continued to pace, sniffing occasionally. Kara watched her, pain in her heart from both from what was happening, and from Lena suggesting that she could’ve been the one to do this to her. As if this last week of spending time together had all been some kind of lie. Kara stewed in her thoughts as she watched Lena pace, tension building in her shoulders.

Finally, Lena stopped, and cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry, Kara. I didn’t mean to lash out like that, I- of course I don’t think it was you. You wouldn’t- you… um,” she stuttered, a tear running down her cheek. “I don’t mean to take this out on you. It’s not your fault- I don’t know who did this, but I- I- fuck, I’m doing this all wrong.”

Lena strode up to Kara and stopped in front of her, looking smaller than Kara had ever seen her. “I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding here,” she said Kara snorted in derision, and Lena looked sad at the sound of it. “No, I want to be clear. This is important to me. I don’t want what happened last time to happen again. I think we- I think you and I are… my darling, I don’t think you did this. I don’t think it was you,” she said firmly. “I lashed out, I’m sorry. I do that when I’m stressed, and I don’t think before I speak. It was wrong of me.” This time, she was the one who tried to take Kara’s hand, but Kara yanked it out of her reach, setting Lena off-balance.

“Lena, you don’t get to just… lash out at me when you think I’ve done something wrong and just expect me to take it. It’s not fair. It’s hurtful,” she said, her voice breaking, and Lena’s hands twitched as if she went to reach for Kara, but stopped herself. “You don’t get to just- fuck, Lena, your first thought was that I had sold you to the press, as if on some level you thought I was capable of it, otherwise your mind wouldn’t have jumped to that so fast. Has this last week really meant so little to you?!” Kara exclaimed, feeling tears fill her own eyes.

“Kara!”

“Do you think I would actually do that to you?”

“No, I don’t!” Lena burst out. “Kara, I- these past few days have been the best of my life and- I’ve loved being here. I’ve loved being around you, and Alex and Maggie when they’ve been here. I know the circumstances of what brought me here were bad but you- despite that, I- you’re the most genuine person I’ve ever met. I care so much about you. I think I would really love us to be-”

“To be what, Lena?” Kara interjected, not unkindly.

Lena looked hesitant, as if she were no longer sure she what she was going to say would be well-received. “Would you… would you even want to be with me, Kara?” she asked, carefully watching Kara’s face. “I thought that maybe- my whole life is falling apart around my ears. You’re the one thing in it that’s right, my darling. The press being here right now, finding out about me, is the worst timing ever.” Lena sighed, reaching out for Kara, and this time, Kara took her hand. Lena’s breath hitched as she led them to the sofa and sat them down. Her face was distraught, and she swiped at the tears on her cheeks.

“Aside from the fact that the topless photos of me are circulating and my team is still trying to bury that video, my being publicly outed could potentially end my career as I know it,” she said quietly. “I know that the world is more progressive than it was but… even now, once an actor comes out, especially once they reach a certain level… they get typecast. Or the roles that may have gone to them will go to someone else. The scripts slow down, or stop. Or change entirely.” Several more tears spilled down Lena’s face, and Kara’s heart felt like it was cracking. “This career is where I came to get away from what happened with Lex, with my family, the… I built it myself, outside of the Luthor name and all the stigma that comes with it. This is what I had to call my own. And the press is going to take it from me,” she said, almost choking on her words in the effort to get them out.

Kara felt her own anger evaporate. Lena was right, of course. This was bigger than just them, bigger than Lena lashing out; it was Lena’s whole life under the microscope. Most people did their coming out in private. Most people didn’t have the entire world watching them, dissecting their lives. Lena was very likely going to have to come out in front of the world’s press. And it was never going to leave her alone.

Lena seemed to be struggling with what she wanted to say next, and Kara rubbed gentle circles into her wrists and kept Lena’s hands in her lap. Lena sighed. “Kara, I- these last few days, this last while of knowing you… I feel like we are… you’re more than a friend to me. I’d understand if you didn’t want- if you thought this would be too hard. My life has become a colossal mess. I’m not in a position to offer you a relationship right now… I want to be, _so_ much, but this process is… I think I need to do it alone,” Lena’s voice cracked. “What I said about this feeling real to me, I meant it. I _mean_ it. I don’t want to let go of this, of you. You’re the realest thing I’ve ever known. You’re the sunshine in the dark, shut-off corners of my life. And… I’d love to see what we could be if- if… if you wanted _me_ , too… I just can’t… right now,” Lena finished, by now looking very shy, and so very, very sad.

While Lena was speaking, images from the last few days were flashing through Kara’s mind. Lena showing up at her door, nobody else’s. Reading on the sofa. Curled against Kara watching TV. Cooking breakfast for them both in her pyjamas. Entwined with her in bed, snoring softly against some part of Kara. Coming with her to work. Hanging out with Alex and Maggie, all of them laughing over lines in her script. Her hair disheveled and her beautiful green eyes dark and looking at Kara as if she was the best thing she’d ever seen. The way she looked when she was completely undone by Kara’s hands or tongue. The way she smiled whenever Kara walked into a room.

Lena was looking uncertainly at her, obviously not sure how her words had been received by Kara, and Kara could feel her hands shaking minutely under hers.

“Are you asking me to wait for you while you do this, Lena?” she murmured, shifting closer to Lena and wrapping her arm around her shoulders.

Kara felt the moment that Lena let go of some of the tension. Her shoulders dropped and her body seemed to sag in the middle, with relief, Kara hoped. “Yes,” Lena whispered, looking down, speaking to her knees. “I know it’s not fair of me to ask that of you, darling, but… I need some time to figure everything out.” Kara lifted Lena’s chin with her finger, bringing green eyes up to meet blue. Lena’s eyes were shining with tears and hope, and as Kara leaned towards her, she covered the distance and kissed her almost desperately. Kara could taste the tears on Lena’s lips, and she brought her hands up to wipe them away from her cheeks.

Kara leaned her forehead against Lena’s. “Then I’ll try, Lena Luthor. As much as you say I’m sunshine, you’re the moonlight in mine. You make all the mundane things magical.”

“It’s not going to be easy, Kara… being with m- well, waiting for me while I’m going through this. I’m filming for six weeks, at the very least, and I don’t know what’s going to happen with the press. I’ll try to be in touch as much as I can but I- I don’t know-”

“It’s okay, Lena,” Kara said, kissing Lena again quickly. “We’ll figure it out. We just need to be honest with each other, okay?”

“Of course,” Lena replied, wiping at the tears on her face. “Ugh, I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life aside from this week and when I found out what Lex had done. I must look such a mess…”

Kara scoffed. “You look beautiful, as always. Even with bloodshot eyes.”

Lena let out a wet laugh and leaned against Kara, who wrapped her arms around her.

As they were sitting there, Kara heard her front door open and Alex shouting at the press. “Get _out_ of my way before I shove that camera somewhere the sun doesn’t shine, you idiotic fucker. No, I _live_ here! Get the hell off my stoop!”

Kara’s eyes widened as the front door slammed shut hard enough to rattle the windows, and Alex stomped up the stairs, frantically calling her name.

“In here,” she called back.

Alex popped her head into the lounge, and didn’t seem surprised at all to see Lena’s tear-stained face. To Kara’s surprise, Alex dropped her bag on the floor and dragged the armchair over so that she could sit in front of Lena.

“Alex?” Kara questioned.

“Lena, I’m so sorry!” Alex started, ignoring Kara. “It was me who somehow… let the cat out of the bag, indirectly. I- shit. Okay, from the start,” she said, brushing her hands through her hair quickly before shaking her hands out. “Okay. I was texting Kara this morning and I- well, I was also texting a colleague of mine, Rhea, about something. At the same time. Anyway Kara asked me what time I’d be home from work, and I guess she wanted to know for… er, reasons, and so I sent back a text that said I’d- wait, let me read it so you know the exact wording,” and she fished around in her bag until she brought her cell out. She looked back up at Lena, who was giving Alex her full attention. “I said, _I’ll be home around 2pm. I hope I won’t be interrupting anything that you and a certain Miss Luthor are getting up to._ But instead of sending it to you, I sent it to Rhea. And I guess I… I guess I’ve mentioned that my sister is sorta seeing someone called Lena although I never mentioned your last name, I swear,” she said, looking at Lena with apology written all over her face.

“Oh Alex,” Kara sighed, as she felt Lena’s hand twitch in hers.

“And I guess she remembered your first name, and put two and two together. She’s kind of a bitch anyway, she was already arguing with me about whether I should be taking her Christmas shift when it’s only _June_ and I worked it last year, but _anyway_ , I wouldn’t put it past her to tell the press just to make some extra money but I swear, Lena, I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t tell anyone, and neither would Maggie. I didn’t even know how badly this had gone until I got home and there was this swarm of vultures at the doorstep. I tried to call you as soon as I realized I’d sent the message to the wrong person and everyone in the hospital was giving me strange looks.”

To Kara’s shock, Alex actually looked close to tears. In Kara’s mind, Alex was a badass. She knew a hundred different ways to beat someone in a sparring match, what with her black belts in several martial arts, could work through the hardest days in the ER, could take care of everyone and everything around her. But Alex also wore her heart on her sleeve, and she was sensitive, kind, generous, and selfless, and Kara would be forever grateful that it had been Alex who’d taken care of her when she’d first arrived in New York City. She’d found a sister, a family, in Alex and Eliza, and the bond was very strong. But never had Kara seen Alex upset about someone Kara was “sorta seeing.”

Kara reached over and took Alex’s hand with one of hers and squeezed, connecting all three of them. Lena, after a little hesitation, did the same.

“It’s okay, Alex- well it’s not really okay, but it’s done and I’ll deal with it. I know you wouldn’t have done it on purpose. Your sister would’ve killed you,” she added with a watery smile.

The doorbell rang again at the same time as Lena’s work cell started to ring. Lena squeezed both of their hands again before clearing her throat and picking it up. “Yes?” she answered, a slight tremor in her voice. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll be down shortly.” Hanging up the phone, she looked at Kara. “I’m sorry… my driver is here to pick me up. I’ll need to go and… start to sort this out before I leave for Utah on Monday. I hate to have to leave, but I- well, I’m going to have to make a lot of phone calls and maybe work on some press releases, or something. I’m not sure. I have to talk to my publicist and my PR person. I’ve got a feeling that I’m about to have some very unpleasant meetings. And I can’t really do that from here,” she said with a downcast face, as if she’d actually love nothing better than to stay here, hiding out from the world in Kara’s bedroom until this all blew over.

“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Alex said, standing up and nodding at both of them. “I’ll see you, Lena.”

When Alex had headed upstairs and they heard her bedroom door close, Kara blew out a breath. “I guess we should… get your stuff together,” she said, sadness filling her tone. Lena immediately cupped Kara’s face with both hands and kissed her gently.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I wish we had more time to talk about this, but-”

“You have to go, I know,” Kara murmured.

Standing up, Lena picked up her script that lay abandoned on the sofa, and they climbed the stairs to Kara’s bedroom. Lena began gathering the things she had left around, shoving the laptop and any underwear she’d left lying around in her bag haphazardly. No longer shy around Kara, she stripped off her pajamas and likewise shoved them in her bag, pulling on the clothes and shoes that she’d been wearing when she arrived. At least if she had her hood up and sunglasses on her face, the press wouldn’t get a good photo of her when she left. And although Kara spotted Lena surreptitiously stuffing one of Kara’s well-worn hoodies into her bag as well, she pretended not to notice.

When she’d got everything, Lena took one last look around Kara’s bedroom, knowing she wouldn’t be back for a while. Kara saw her eyes settle on the Degas print once more, before her gaze landed on Kara. They looked at each other for a few moments, before the doorbell rang again through the silent house and made them both jump.

Kara smiled briefly, before taking Lena’s hand firmly in hers. “Come on,” she said, pulling Lena along behind her slowly. When they got downstairs and into the hallway next to the bike, Lena stopped. “What is it?” Kara asked.

Lena didn’t say anything, but dropped her bag on the ground and yanked Kara towards her by the straps of her pajama top. Kara was expecting the kiss to be hard, but Lena’s lips were soft, gentle on hers. Although they had shared many kisses by now, they hadn’t had a kiss so slow, so tender, and it brought tears to Kara’s eyes. Kara’s heart hurt for the pain Lena was going through, the loss and betrayals she had endured, the heartache she was about to suffer, and yet… and yet she still had so much gentleness in her. Kara wondered… how could someone who has endured so much still be so… open, so willing to risk her heart, so good? Lena backed herself into the wall, pulling Kara along with one hand on the small of her back. Kara took the hint and pressed her against the wall, pushing them as close together as they could get.

“I’m going to miss you,” Lena whispered against Kara’s lips. “No matter what happens, please know that I want you in all the ways a person can want another. I’ll try and call whenever I can.”

And then, with one last hug, Lena opened the door, and the raucous crowd outside was suddenly louder as her bodyguard stepped up to her and whisked her through the crowd towards a waiting car. Kara let the door swing closed behind her, cutting the noise to a distant roar, and leaving her in the now silent house. Without Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY sorry sorry! Poor Lena can't catch a damn break!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long-distance anything sucks!

On Friday evening, Kara had spent the whole evening moping. Alex and Maggie had called the others over, and they had an impromptu games night at Alex and Kara’s. Maggie brought over rather a lot of alcohol and Kara had overindulged, meaning that she spent Saturday morning with her arms wrapped around the toilet. The alcohol, rather than making her happy and relaxed, had made her morose and unwilling, and eventually unable, to join in most of the conversations.

Later that afternoon, she had gone to work. As she passed the newsstand on the way to the bookstore, she hadn’t been able to avoid seeing the front pages of the overnight newspapers, Lena’s face plastered all over them. She could see Lena’s face, contorted in shock and irritation. In some, they had cropped the photos so that all you could see was her face, and in others they’d kept the full body shots. There was Lena Luthor, the papers said, looking like she’d just rolled out of a bed she very clearly hadn’t spent much time sleeping in. Her hair was in beautiful disarray, some papers had highlighted the dark spots on her neck and collarbone, the rainbow on her top zoomed in on, and some had a smaller photo of Kara in one of the corners. The titles all had various unimaginative titles along the lines of _Lena Luthor’s Lesbian Getaway_ , and Kara angrily stalked past the newsstand as if it had personally offended her.

By the time she’d arrived at work, which Winn had been taking care of for her, it was much busier than usual. Naively she wondered whether there was something special about today, but when she’d walked in, she’d felt every eye turn to stare at her. A newspaper with Lena’s face on it had flashed in front of her eyes as someone asked her whether it was her in the photo. It turned out that the newspaper had printed Kara’s first name, although not her last, so she was at least being afforded some small measure of privacy. Perhaps Alex’s colleague Rhea hadn’t been absolutely, _100%_ heartless.

She denied all the questions, although it hurt her to do so and she wasn’t sure that anyone believed her. Kara retreated into the storeroom and sorted out the stock in the boxes ready for Monday morning when she’d next be in. Alex knew that Kara had to keep busy in order to keep her mind off things, so for the next week, whenever neither of them was at work, she and Alex went to the theater to see a matinee of Hamilton and the evening Wicked show, the fairground where Kara won a bear so large it had been the star of a photoshoot on the subway, for long walks on Staten Island sharing ice cream.

She knew she needed to give Lena the time she’d asked for, but that didn’t stop her from checking her cell every few minutes to see whether she had any messages. Logically, she knew Lena had probably had meetings that spanned many time zones, and that she had already left for Utah and was already filming _Space Pirates_ , but the tiny amount of communication sucked.

The truth was that it had only been a few days, but Kara already missed Lena terribly. She had quickly grown used to waking up with Lena’s voice soft with sleep, her being around all the time, and her not being there had left a hole in Kara’s life that she hadn’t expected to be so _large_. Internally, she berated herself for falling so far so fast, but she also knew she couldn’t help it. Someone like Lena, who so easily fitted in Kara’s life and heart, didn’t come around very often.

The first Friday after Lena had left, she’d spent the whole afternoon painting nothing and everything. She’d spent far too long trying to mix the exact shade of green that Lena’s eyes turned when she looked at Kara, and the subtle mixing of colors soothed her. She hadn’t managed it, but the various greens she had come out with ended up on the canvas in the form of a forest, a grey castle in the distance, indistinct banners unfurled and waving in an imagined morning breeze.

Kara was getting ready for bed in the bathroom when she heard her phone ringing in her bedroom. By the time she’d finished brushing her teeth, it had stopped ringing. Earlier she’d thrown her cell across the bed, and when she came back in and saw that she had a missed call from Lena, her heart skipped a beat. She dived dramatically across the bed and picked her phone up, made herself comfortable, and called Lena back.

Lena answered immediately, before it even had a chance to ring, and her voice flooded Kara’s senses. “Hello darling,” she greeted. “Are you busy?”

“Hi!” Kara breathed. “No, I was just getting ready for bed.”

“Kara! It’s-” Lena paused, “2am there!”

“In that case it’s midnight there, so you’re not doing much better,” Kara replied, gently teasing her.

“We were doing a night shoot, I have an excuse,” Lena protested. “Not that I’m not pleased I didn’t wake you up, but… why are you still awake?”

“I was painting,” Kara said, hearing Lena’s breath catch in excitement, and Lena was off, asking lots of questions about her process and what she’d painted, and Kara relaxed back on her bed and settled in to tell Lena about the painting of the forest and the castle. It turned out that Lena had quite an active imagination and Kara was amused as Lena designed a whole story around her painting, inventing characters, a background, and wondered whether it should be a historical story or a modern one. She asked for a photo of the painting, and Kara obliged, telling her she would take a photo once they had finished talking and send it to her.

In turn, Kara asked Lena how the shoot was going, whether she’d been able to get Ruby Arias on board or not (she had, and Ruby was very excited about the film, as predicted), and Lena told her all about how she would be doing her own stunts, and that although a lot of the film would be shot with a green screen, they had a lot of conceptual art by the designers, and it would look beautiful once everything had been digitally added.

Kara shifted against her pillows, and she could hear Lena doing something similar, wherever she was. “So, how are you, Lena?” she asked.

“Honestly? Exhausted,” Lena replied, and Kara thought that she did actually sound quite tired as she stifled a yawn. “It’s been really hot since I arrived, but because she skies have been so clear and we’re shooting in the middle of nowhere, the decision was made to move the night shoots to now so that they get the best lighting. The moon is so bright here, Kara,” she said, wistfully. “Sometimes I’ve gone outside with a chair at night and just looked up at the moon and the stars. It’s freezing at night, but they’re so bright I can almost read by their light. Almost.”

Kara could just imagine Lena lying outside on a lounge chair, the moonlight making her pale skin glow, and she smiled at the thought of it. “I wish I could see it,” she said.

“Maybe one day, we can,” Lena said quietly. “If we- I mean… you know what I mean. I think you’d like it here. We’re filming in the Moab desert. There are so many beautiful sights here.” Kara could hear the smile on Lena’s face, and it matched hers.

“I’d love to see it,” she murmured. “So… how are you, Lena? I mean, after… you know.”

Lena let out a heavy sigh. “It’s been hard. That weekend, I met with my publicist. She was more concerned about my career, and suggested that I deny everything, at least for now.” Kara thought she felt her stomach sink at that thought. “But, I don’t want to do that. I haven’t really decided how to best approach this yet but I- I don’t want to deny this. I know it’s going to change the way that people look at me. And change the way that people expect me to behave. For example, instead of attending Pride as a private citizen, as I have been doing-” _she’s been attending Pride?_ Kara wondered, “-people will expect me to be right at the head of it. And… that’s fine, but I would always have preferred it to be my own choice. Not because of anyone else’s expectations.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Kara said, feeling sorry for Lena.

“And…” Lena continued, her voice wavering. “People can be really mean.”

“That’s true, but Lena, you can’t start to think like that. Not everyone is going to be mean about your sexuality,” Kara replied firmly. “No matter what anyone says, the only opinions that should really matter are the ones of those people you count as your family and friends. I know there are some… people in office making things extremely difficult for people like us right now, but we’re going to keep fighting them.”

“I got invited to the White House last year after I won the Oscar,” Lena confided in a sly voice.

“What, really?!” Kara exclaimed.

“Yeah. My mother’s doing, no doubt. She called and tried to insist that I go and that I take her with me, try and put the Luthor name back in the news. I told her I was washing my hair that night.”

Kara snorted. “I bet that went down well.”

“I’ll say,” Lena laughed. “She hasn’t forgiven me for it yet.”

Their laughter got quieter, and Kara was content to just sit and keep the connection open with Lena as long as she could. She got up from her bed and moved over to sit in front of her painting, and poured a little bit of black paint and a small dollop of white onto her paint board. To the side of one of the trees, to the side of the painting, she added a figure in white with black hair, gazing at the castle in the distance. She described what she was doing to Lena as she was doing it, and Lena asked again for a photo.

When Lena stifled the third yawn in a row, Kara told her that she had to go to bed. They’d been on the phone for an hour, and while she didn’t have work tomorrow, she knew that Lena did.

“Are Friday evenings good to call you?” Lena asked sleepily.

“Any day is good to call me,” Kara replied.

“I know, but… I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be interrupting anything,” Lena said, through another yawn.

“Okay Lena, you need to go to sleep,” Kara said.

“Mmhmm, I will. I miss you Kara,” Lena said in a low voice. “I wish you were here with me. The hardest part about this is being away from you.”

Kara felt her stomach fill with butterflies and a grin spread over her face. “Trust me, I wish I were there too. I don’t want you to go but… you should get some sleep.”

“You should too… sleep well,” Lena whispered.

“You too, Lena,” Kara replied, and pulled the phone away from her ear when the connection was broken. She snapped a quick photo of the painting she’d done and sent it across to Lena, before climbing into bed on Lena’s side, and plugging her cell in to charge. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, her phone vibrated with a text message.

 **Lena:** _It’s beautiful, Kara. I’d love to see more of your paintings. You need to add yourself into the painting too_

 **Lena:** _:)_

 **Lena:** _Put yourself next to me?_

Kara went to sleep smiling.

 

* * * * *

 

The next month passed much quicker. Their texts were sporadic, but Lena always called her every Friday evening, and Kara dropped whatever she was doing to take the call. They didn’t talk again about their tentative relationship, such as it was. Kara knew how Lena felt, and she didn’t want to put additional pressure on Lena while she was already going through quite a lot. She hadn’t yet released anything to the press, and Kara was starting to wonder about that, but didn’t mention it. She knew Lena would be trying to handle it the best she could from her side.

Lena always sounded very tired when she called. The shoot was turning out to be longer than expected, and as Lena had decided to try to do all her own stunts, she was exhausted. She always sounded happy, despite that, and Kara was happy just to let Lena talk herself into silence if that’s what she wanted to do; she was just happy to hear Lena’s low and melodious voice coming through her phone. Whenever she was telling Lena a funny story about this and that, she could hear the answering smile in Lena’s own voice.

Every week, Lena told her stories from the set, making her laugh. Ruby Arias had been causing quite a stir by deciding the best way to pass the time was by playing practical jokes on everyone on set. Lena herself had been got by Ruby, who had snuck into her trailer and sprayed purple ink into Lena’s showerhead just before she used it, causing the usually pale actress to look like she’d very badly lost a paintball fight. Kara had laughed herself silly at the photo Lena had sent her. Other people had their trailers filled with balloons, books and photo frames were placed upside down, and a lot of the pranks made it to the movie’s official Instagram page.

Lena did have an Instagram account, but she had hardly used it. Whenever she was tagged in one of the movie’s set photos, there were occasionally some less than kind comments and speculations about her sexuality, such as people thought it was. They made Kara mad, and although she was sure that Lena knew about them, she never replied to the comments. Kara took her lead and likewise ignored them.

When _the Vehemence_ came out six weeks after Lena’s departure, Kara, Alex, Maggie, James, and Winn went to the cinema to watch it. Kara delighted in seeing Lena’s name getting top billing in the credits, feeling proud of her even though she hadn’t known her at the time it was being filmed. It was a lot more serious than most of Lena’s other works, a frontier film set when the States were seceding from the Union. Kara silently cheered when Mike Matthews’ character died in a gunfight at the hands of none other than Lena’s character, Annie, in one of the final scenes. The friends all walked out of the cinema thinking that if the film didn’t win the Oscar for Best Film in the next awards season, it would be a crime.

 

* * * * *

 

Two months after Lena left, Kara was sitting on a plane, feeling perhaps the most ridiculous that she’d ever felt. She blamed Maggie for this, she did. During the most recent games night, Maggie had had one too many ciders and decided that she absolutely needed to convince Kara that flying out to Utah the next morning as a surprise for Lena was the best idea ever. Kara, having had one too many ciders herself, had evidently agreed with this idea because here she was, on a plane, flying to Salt Lake City, eyeing the sick bag in the seat pocket in front of her as if it was going to jump out and attach itself to her face.

She had made the mistake of telling Maggie that Lena had mentioned filming a few scenes in the Clark Planetarium in Salt Lake City that coming weekend, and Maggie, and ultimately Kara, had decided that it would a wonderful idea to head out on the earliest possible flight the next morning. She’d booked a night in a hotel, knowing that she most likely wouldn’t be able to stay with Lena while she was shooting, as well as a flight back home for the following morning. Last-minute, none of those things were cheap, but Kara figured that she’d worry about that later. When she was sober.

What an impression she was going to make, showing up at the Planetarium with eyes red from lack of sleep, sure that the alcohol was still seeping through her pores, and her hair unruly from not having been able to dry it before she left.

At least she’d managed to put on matching socks. Well. They were both blue-ish anyway.

So far, the flight had been subject to quite a lot of turbulence. Kara had left her seatbelt on since they’d taken off, and as they lurched around in the air, she shut her eyes and pretended that she was on a rollercoaster designed by children.

The truth Kara was having a hard time admitting to herself as the plane rocked up and down and from side to side was that she really wasn’t sure that flying out unannounced was a good idea. Lena was bound to be very busy, she had asked for time, and Kara was about to show up in the middle of her workday. Also, she’d never been to Salt Lake City and knew nothing about it other than that maybe some Mormons lived there. Maybe. Nevertheless, here she was, on a plane that was descending into the city’s airport, without having a clue as to what she was going to say to Lena when she saw her. She didn’t even have any luggage to delay her exit from the airport. She was regretting this decision already.

After a while, Kara tried to distract herself from her thoughts and the turbulence with the book she’d brought with her, but the woman in the seat next to her was listening to some seriously loud music. Kara could hear the tinny music clearly, even down to the breaths between the lines the artist was singing. She tapped her foot along to the annoying music regardless.

She was excited to see Lena, she was, for sure. Who wouldn’t be? But she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the wrong thing to do. They weren’t even technically dating, and this really felt like overkill. She hoped Lena would be happy to see her, but… the way her heart was sinking even as the plane bumped across the runway told her that she may not be.

Kara had managed to catch a cab fairly easily, surprising given that it was only just past nine in the morning, and now she was speeding through the city to the Planetarium. Kara fiddled with her cell in her lap, opening and closing the messaging app repeatedly as she fought the urge to tell the cab driver to turn around and go back to the airport, even though her flight home wasn’t until tomorrow morning.

Once the cab pulled up and she’d paid the driver, she clambered nervously out. The street was full of camera crews sitting on the sidewalk checking their gear and massive security men watching everyone who walked past. Kara was surprised she’d even managed to get as close as across the street. One lane of the street around one of the corners had been closed and was entirely blocked with large cars and an enormous trailer.

It was, sadly, a very windy day, and Kara’s hair gusted around her face as she fought to tie it up. Well. Now that she was here… she pulled her cell out and called Lena. It rang, and rang, and eventually it hit Lena’s voicemail. She pulled her phone away from her ear and frowned at it. Of course, Lena was probably shooting and had her cell in the trailer that Kara assumed was hers. How could she have not thought of that? And now here she was, standing creepily on the sidewalk, attracting the attention of both the film crew and the security. Her cell buzzing in her hand distracted her, and she was relieved to see Lena’s name up on the screen. She swiped across to answer it and turned her back on the security, hoping she looked more casual than she felt.

“Hi!” she chirped into the phone.

“Hello,” Lena said, and Kara could hear the smile coming through the phone. “Oh, are you okay? This is quite early for you to call. Are you at work?”

“No, no- I mean, yes, I’m fine,” Kara babbled. “I’m… well. I’m- Lena, this is going to sound stupid, but I’m kind of in Salt Lake City.”

Kara heard the silence stretch out through the phone line and winced.

“What do you mean, you’re in Salt Lake City?” Lena asked slowly.

“I mean, I’m outside the Planetarium,” Kara replied.

“Um… okay, hang on. I’m going to come and get you,” Lena said, and hung up the phone abruptly. Kara shoved her cell in her back pocket and waited. She wasn’t sure where Lena would be coming out from, and so she remained standing in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling even more awkward than she had before Lena had called her back.

The security men at the front of the Planetarium all shifted around the entrance, and Kara spotted Lena coming out. Her breath caught in her chest as her greedy eyes took Lena in for the first time in two months. She was wearing fitted slacks, towering heels, and a deep red wine colored satin shirt that was tucked into her slacks that looked like it cost a fortune. Her hair was tied up in a severe high ponytail that made Kara wonder whether Lena suffered from hair headaches. But she looked absolutely… delectable, and Kara wished she had some water to rehydrate her mouth.

Lena smiled quickly at her and gave her a brief hug as she reached her, the security guard who had followed Lena eyed her suspiciously.

“Tony, this is Kara. She’s my guest at the moment, and I can vouch for her. I’m just going to take her to the trailer, okay?” she said to the security guard, Tony apparently, who nodded and held his arm out in the direction of the trailer, indicating that they should go there straight away. Lena led the way, Kara following, and Tony bringing up the rear.

Lena opened the door to the trailer and stepped up into it, looking around it to see if anyone else was there, before thanking Tony and closing the door behind her and Kara.

Kara turned to look sheepishly at Lena, who moved forward immediately to engulf Kara in a hug, almost squeezing the air out of Kara with the force of it. Kara dropped her bag on the floor and returned the hug, burying her face in Lena’s neck, letting the warmth of her body surround her and blow away the dust from her mind. She felt Lena brush her lips softly against her cheek in a gentle kiss.

Lena drew back and cleared her throat. “Hi,” she said, holding on to Kara’s hand, but her smile was reticent. Kara had never seen Lena wearing so much makeup, and it just made her miss what she’d come to think of as _her_ version of Lena all the more.

“Hi,” she replied, her voice sheepish.

Lena’s smile became slightly brittle, and Kara felt her stomach drop. Lena stepped back, walked over to the cabinets, and busied herself with making coffee for them. Kara shook her hands out, suddenly feeling like she had nothing to say, now that she was here and dealing with her drunken decision. She cursed the cider she’d drunk the night before once again.

“Kara… it’s not that I’m not happy to see you,” Lena said in a strained voice, “but I- what are you doing here?”

Kara blew out a breath. “I just wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you’ve certainly done that, and not only me,” Lena muttered, handing Kara her coffee and tipping three sugars into her own before stirring it.

“I missed you,” Kara blurted out.

Lena sighed and indicated that Kara should sit down on the sofa. She did, and Lena sat a little bit away from her, putting her coffee on a coaster on the end table. She was nearby, but not next to her, and Kara felt unsettled.

She knew she’d sprung her presence on Lena, and every passing minute since getting on the plane, she’d felt more and more that it wasn’t the best action she could’ve taken. Lena would’ve surely been done with shooting soon and she would’ve been freer. But she’d missed Lena far more than she’d expected to, almost as if what she was feeling was beyond _like_.

“I missed you too,” Lena said simply, giving Kara a gentle look before the sharper lines returned to her face. “You have no idea how much I missed you, but Kara… I asked for some time, and I’m at work right now, and I don’t have time-”

“I know, I’m really sorry,” Kara interrupted. “I just missed you more than I thought I would, and I got drunk last night, and Maggie put this idea in my head. I booked it without even really thinking. I shouldn’t have-”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Lena cut across her, her voice quiet, and Kara flinched. Lena leaned across and put her hand on Kara’s knee, rubbing her thumb against the material of her pants. “Like I said, it’s _really_ not that I’m not happy to see you, but Kara, I’m _working_. We’re coming to the end of the shoot and we’re all very busy. And you’ve just… shown up and they don’t know who you are, and they’re all going to be wondering about my mysterious visitor and I’m not sure what to tell them. And now that you’re here all I want to do is spend all of my time with you but- but I… but I _can’t_. I’m not sure what you were expecting, but we’re leaving tonight for another short shoot in the Moab before heading back to the studios, and it would be different if you were my… if we were- but we aren’t. I’m trying to sort this all out Kara, darling, I promise I’m trying, but I’m not there yet.”

She was right. Lena was _right_ , Kara chastised herself. She shouldn’t have just shown up here. And what was she expecting anyway? Lena to drop the shoot just to spend time with her? They hadn’t discussed anything much beyond their daily lives in the last few weeks. Kara didn’t even know what Lena was thinking about doing in regards to her the rumors about her sexuality. She really, _really_ should’ve ignored Maggie last night.

“You’re right,” Kara said. “I’m sorry, Lena.”

Lena sighed again, and shifted closer to Kara on the sofa. “I know. And I wish I could spend time with you, but I also need the time I asked for to work on… everything. I know we haven’t had a proper chance to discuss it but Kara, the photos of me at your home, the rumors circulating about my… you know, I see all those Instagram comments. My team sends me the pertinent comments made on the internet by the news groups and gossip magazines. Potentially, this is the end of my career, such as I know it. It would change the roles and trajectory that I’ve been on. I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching in the last few weeks.” Lena leaned against Kara on the sofa, and Kara hesitantly wrapped her arm around Lena’s shoulders, reveling in the contact.

“I think I’m… I’ve been taking a blanket and sitting out under the stars in the Moab in the evenings, if I’m able. It’s been a bit cold, but I’ve taken a blanket and sat under the stars. The stars are so clear there, Kara,” she said wistfully, tucking her feet to the side of her calves. “They’re helping me put things into perspective. I’ve been trying to think about what’s really important to me in the long run. The speculation about my sexuality has never really gone away, and the recent photos of me have exacerbated them to the point where I- I think I have to make a choice. But it’s a hard choice to make. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I’m going to lose something huge either way. When you… boil it down to the absolute basics, it comes down to the starkest choice – my career and all I fought for and against, or my private life. Either way, my private life will be in the news for a very long time regardless of what I choose. And by extension, anyone that I’m… anyone I’m dating will be exposed, too.”

“You sound like you’ve made a decision, or are coming close to one,” Kara said, her breath catching in her throat. Kara’s heart had been sinking further and further into her boots the longer she sat there. Lena’s words were almost like a physical pain. She knew she hadn’t brought the press to her door, but the pain they were causing with their photos was palpable in every word Lena spoke. Her voice was low, sad, and lacking all of the quiet confidence that usually ran through it.

The thought that Lena thought that she was having to make a choice between her career and her private life was so unfair. Kara understood what she was trying to say, and what Lena was not saying. She was weighing up her career against her love life. Against Kara. And Kara felt awful about it.

“I think I have,” Lena murmured, looking at Kara intently, her green eyes sad. As she went to say more, someone knocked insistently at the trailer door.

“Miss Luthor?” the voice said.

“Just a moment,” Lena called out, and then huffed out a frustrated breath before looking back at Kara, who was trying very hard to keep her thundering heart from bursting out of her chest.

“I’m sorry, but I need to get back,” Lena breathed, frustration and irritation passing over her face before it was replaced by what Kara could only describe as heartbreak. She felt tears well up in her eyes as Lena stared at the coffee cup in her hands, twirling it round and around. Lena looked up at her, and Kara’s own heartache must’ve shown on her face, because Lena reached a hand up to her cheek and cupped her face. Her touch was tender, and Lena rubbed away a tear that fell from Kara’s eye with her thumb.

“Kara, I-”

“It’s okay,” she said, although it really wasn’t okay. Not at all. She felt sick. “It’s okay. I’ll just… I’ll just go back to New York. I’ll see if I can change my flight,” she choked out.

“Kara…”

Kara sniffed and reached her hand up to cover Lena’s on her face, linking their fingers as best as she could.

“I just need more time,” Lena said desperately. “Please?”

Kara nodded, not trusting herself to speak, but keeping blue eyes fixed on the intense green ones that . Lena seemed to be struggling with something, hesitation on her face, before she leaned in and kissed Kara with the faintest of brush of her lips. “My makeup,” she murmured, taking hold of Kara’s hip with her free hand. “I can’t mess it up.”

Resting her hands on Lena’s waist, Kara pulled Lena close to her, and the sigh Lena breathed against her neck was enough. It had to be enough.

The knock came again at the trailer door, and Kara jumped away from Lena as if she had been burned. Lena cleared her throat, before glancing at Kara once more before opening the door to reveal a woman with a headset on. One of the directors, Kara figured. “Are you ready, Miss Luthor?” she asked, casting a look in Kara’s direction before snapping her eyes back to her star.

“Yes. My apologies, Roni. My friend Kara here dropped by to give me something,” Lena lied without a trace of the emotion that had colored her voice for the last ten minutes. Kara was almost shocked at the change, but tried to keep the surprise off her face. Lena was, after all, an actress.

“Ah okay,” Roni said, before turning to Kara and holding her hand out. “Hi, I’m Roni, the assistant director. Lena doesn’t usually have people visit her on set, but any friend of hers is welcome.” Kara shook Roni’s hand, and Roni stepped back. “We’re just going to be on the main set in the hallway,” she said, beckoning them both.

Kara shot a questioning look over at Lena, who held a hand out to say she should follow. They walked through the doors of the Planetarium, and Lena reached over and laid her hand at the base of Kara’s spine as she held the door open for her. Before she let go, Kara felt Lena rub her hand up and under her shirt, moving gently against her skin before letting go of her entirely. Kara felt the loss immediately, but there was nothing she could do. They were now surrounded by people, rushing everywhere. Lena walked ahead of her with Roni and back to her job, leaving Kara behind with a security guard, who stopped her from going any further.

As she was watching Lena walk away, a sound assistant passed her a set of headphones so that she could listen in to the scene being shot. Kara didn’t feel like she could refuse, so she took the headphones and followed the sound assistant over to Lena’s chair. Seeing her name on the back of it jolted something inside of Kara, and she took in the book bag that Lena had left on the chair. Absently, she wondered which books she’d cared enough about to carry to the set, but she didn’t touch it.

The headphones fit snugly over her ears, and Kara could hear Lena talking as if she was right next to her, rehearsing the dialogue with another actor. Kara recognized the dialogue from when they had been practicing it in her lounge at home, and it made her smile. Alex and Lena had been acting it out, holding up empty kitchen rolls as stand-ins for laser swords. Privately, she thought Alex had done a better job than the other actor, a tall male who Kara remembered from a TV show she’d watched years ago; she also recalled that he’d been a little bit of a creep and she didn’t like him being next to Lena.

“So, who was that girl who showed up?” he asked Lena suddenly.

Lena flipped a page of the script and made a small note in the margin, not looking at him. “She’s a friend, Matt,” she said, her tone not giving anything away.

“Uh huh,” he replied, obviously thinking that he knew more than she was letting on. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Lena said, irritation creeping into her voice.

“Do you want it to be more than friendship?”

Kara watched as Lena calmly put the script down on a nearby table and fixed Matt with a barely concealed glare. “Matt. She is a good friend of mine. _Just_ a friend. She came to visit me as a surprise, and that’s all. I can see that you’re hoping for another answer, but that’s the truth.”

Just then, Roni wandered over to them and started to discuss changing the angle at which they were going to shoot the scene, and Lena’s eyes flicked over to where Kara was standing, giving her a slight smile before turning her attention back to Roni. At this point though, Kara really felt like she’d had enough. _Just a friend._ She smiled her thanks at the sound assistant and handed the headphones back to her.

She walked back towards the exit, and nobody stopped her. Her thoughts were on Lena. She had a lot to think about, and so did Kara. Seeing her this briefly had hurt, and although she hadn’t had any unrealistic expectations about spending time with Lena, she was upset that they wouldn’t be able to hang out, regardless. She missed Lena very much, and this distance… sucked. As she pushed the door open and felt the heat of the day wash over her, Kara didn’t see the green eyes that followed her out of the door until it shut behind her. _Just a friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a new tumblr :) if you want to come say hi, share SuperCorp stuff, or anything else, please stop by! I'd be happy to see you!
> 
> I'm: Melui-the-Ravenclaw :)
> 
> Also, we're sort of getting a bit closer to the end now, so the angst is aaaaaalmost over, I promise! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Surprise?! Here's another chapter! Happy SuperCorp Sunday :)
> 
> I'm away this coming weekend, I wasn't sure if I'd be back in time to post on the following Monday. But since I have actually finished writing this story, I thought I'd do us all a favour and post early :) you'll still get tomorrow's chapter as usual!

Kara’s attempt to change her flight had been fruitless, so she’d spent the rest of her day in Salt Lake City checking into her hotel, emptying her bag of everything except her sketchbook and art pencils, and wandering around the various parks that the city had to offer. It might have been a very nice city, but Kara’s mind was not on what she was looking at, and after several hours, she didn’t think she’d ever wanted to be anywhere less than where she was. She ate a lonely lunch in a sushi restaurant before buying some snacks and a drink from a convenience store, found a bench in Sugar House Park, and parked herself on it for the rest of the afternoon.

Lena was just a few miles away, and soon would be back in the studio. She was so close, but Lena was out of reach. There had to be a metaphor in there somewhere, Kara thought, as she moodily chewed on her potato chips.

The hours passed as she sketched; dogs chasing balls, couples walking hand in hand, the leaves on the trees. She sketched until the air turned cool, and she headed back to the hotel with a sheaf of paper and one of her favorite pencils worn down to almost a nub. She huffed as she walked through the hotel lobby and into the restaurant, feeling like she hadn’t done nearly enough thinking.

The food wasn’t very appetizing, but she ate it anyway, and once she arrived back in the hotel room, she showered and changed into her pajamas before settling into bed. It was still early, even in New York, so she wasn’t tired at all. Kara flicked the TV on, and nearly choked on a sip of water as Lena’s face appeared on the screen.

 _What_ was the world trying to tell her? It was one of her earlier films, a cheesy, low-budget horror movie. Even though Lena wasn’t old at 26, she looked very young in this film. Kara watched as Lena’s character ran around an abandoned warehouse, searching for an alien artifact and being chased by some kind of giant ant creature, which she was pretty sure was just a man in a very bad costume. There wasn’t very much to recommend the film, Kara thought, but Lena was very pretty, and that was all that the director of the film had seemed to care about in the end. There were so many close-ups of her face that Kara spent the majority of the movie recalling just how soft Lena’s face was to touch, despite her sharp jaw.

When the movie was over, Kara rolled over in bed, the sheets a little scratchy and uncomfortable. The conversation between she and Lena earlier had left her with a lot to think about. Lena had asked for more time, and she would try her best. That’s all she could do. But the concept of someone asking for time, an indeterminate amount of time (a month, a year, more?), was difficult. Her heart was already breaking.

Because she could admit it to herself, here in the dark with nobody to hear her thoughts. Darkness swallowed truth like nothing else. She knew in her heart that she loved Lena. She knew it. It was like an ever-present thought in her head. It had come on quickly but quietly, during the time Lena spent at her house. It was in the care that Lena took of her, in the way that Kara’s breath always caught around her, the way Kara’s eyes were always drawn to Lena whenever she was near. She longed for her with every part of her. Kara’s arms sought to cradle Lena close to her, her hands to touch her, to make her laugh and smile, and to keep her happy, safe. She wanted Lena to know that she was loved, every day, just for herself.

Her heart longed to welcome Lena’s home.

But Kara was _just a friend_. Objectively, she knew of course why Lena had said that. She knew the reasons behind why Lena had denied who she was to her. But that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like a punch to the gut, more than she wanted it to and more than she thought the words deserved. Kara groaned. They were just words that had a false meaning behind them, but for now… they weren’t seeing each other. They weren’t together, while Lena needed her time to sort things out. So, at this present moment, the words _were_ true.

Kara buried her face in the pillow, wishing that someone or something could give her some kind of answer. How long could she hold out? How long could her already bruised heart cope?

 

* * * * *

 

The early morning flight that Kara dragged herself to after very little sleep was, thankfully, uneventful. No delays, no tinny music, nobody kicking the back of her seat, and no turbulence. She got back home exhausted, clambering out of the cab and stumbling up the steps. It was 10am and she was tired. Kara didn’t even bother to do herself the courtesy of brushing her teeth; she stripped off her clothes, pulled on some pajamas, and fell into bed.

The next few days passed slowly. Work was busy, but the days crawled by nonetheless, and Kara felt like she was moving through molasses. She hadn’t yet had a chance to see or talk to Alex, who she had been passing like ships in the night thanks to Alex’s working pattern that week. She hadn’t replied to Maggie’s texts asking how the trip across to Salt Lake City had gone, but she had a sneaking suspicion that Maggie had realized what a silly idea it had been judging from the “we should never make decisions after drinking cider” text she’d received while she was sitting in the park the day before.

Winn though, she had been able to talk to Winn at least. Whenever a customer wasn’t close enough to overhear their conversation, she bombarded poor Winn with her thoughts about Lena, how she felt about having an indefinite amount of time to wait, what he thought about what she should do. She told him that she loved Lena, that she was very definitely _in love_ with Lena Luthor, and berated herself for falling in love so quickly.

For his part, Winn was very sympathetic. He was perhaps the most romantic of her friends, and so told her off immediately when she chastised herself for loving Lena already. “You can’t help how, who, and when you love someone, Kara,” he said gently. “If you could, nobody would ever have a broken heart. But it would take all the magic out of what love is; a terrifying and thrilling freefall.”

It really didn’t help that wherever Kara went, there Lena was. On the fronts of magazines, on billboards, on adverts on the sides of buses, especially since it was only very recently that _the Vehemence_ had been released. She found that she was constantly reminded of Lena, and every time she saw her face, she heard the words _just a friend_ repeat through her mind like a drumbeat.

Lena didn’t call, and Kara didn’t call her. For the first time since they’d met, her phone was silent. There were no texts, no photos, no funny stories from the set. She avoided Instagram. For all intents and purposes, this felt to Kara like some kind of breakup. But how could they break up, if they’d never specifically been together? And yet… and yet.

These days, Alex often came home from her night shifts to find Kara running out her thoughts on the treadmill, the sweat pouring down her body and her hair a mess. When Maggie came over to hang out, she always brought whisky, never cider.

Kara just had too much on her mind. She _missed_ Lena. Missed the way she brushed her silky hair out of her face while she was reading if had fallen into her eyes. Missed the way she murmured to the exploding tap while she was using it as if it was a sentient being with feelings. Missed the way her green eyes lit up when they browsed the TV channels and found Star Wars or some other sci-fi or fantasy film or show. She missed the way that Lena’s fingers trailed delicately over the spines of books on a shelf, as if each one was deserving of her attention even if she wasn’t choosing to read it _this_ time.

But most of all she missed the way that Lena’s hands traced patterns in her skin, the way her fingers always made their way so gently through Kara’s hair while the watched something on TV, sifting through it, braiding it, occasionally scratching her scalp. Kara’s heart thudded painfully in her chest when she thought about how Lena always kissed her as if she was something to be treasured, to be appreciated, to be cherished. She thought about the way that Lena trusted her, at first cautiously and then with her whole self, body, and heart. Lena had been so open, so vulnerable, and Kara loved her for it.

And yet.

 _Just a friend_. She couldn’t shake the words out of her head no matter how many times she pounded the words out repeatedly on the treadmill. The indistinctness of time weighed heavily on her shoulders and on her heart.

 

* * * * *

 

It was a dreary Monday morning. The weather was ominous, but it wasn’t raining at the moment; there was a brief respite, and people took the opportunity the break afforded them and hurried past the doors of the bookstore wearing raincoats and clutching umbrellas, mindful that they could be needed at any moment. They held hats to their heads as the wind threatened to blow them away. The streets were slick and grey with past downfalls, the dirt of the street still running in rivulets down the walls and across the sidewalks. The storm had seemingly blown in from nowhere, catching everyone by surprise.

The lack of sun had made the bookstore chilly, and every time someone came into the bookstore, they seemed to bring with them the dampness of the outside. Kara was very thankful that Alex had left her a note on the worktop this morning, urging her to take a spare hoody with her to work lest she get caught in the rain. Kara had complied, and the blue cardigan she had worn to work was gently steaming on the radiator in the storeroom.

Kara moodily poked at the keyboard as the morning wore on, sorting through the spreadsheets of books that they’d sold in the past week and doing google searches on LGBT films and documentaries that she would be able to stock in a new section she had decided to add. _Why_ was there such a lack of lesbian films, especially, that had happy endings, she wondered to herself as she browsed lists and recommendations; it’s as if they _want_ the community to be depressed. She frowned to herself. There needed to be more rainbows and happiness in LGBT films. She was fed up of shipping characters that weren’t canonically together, and she was pretty sure that she wasn’t the only one.

And that was how she was when the doorbell chimed, signaling the entrance of a customer; slumped in a melancholy way over the desk, chin resting in her hands, and frowning. What a wonderful first impression she was going to give to the customer, she thought, as she plastered a bright smile to her face and looked up. The smile faltered as she saw who it was.

Lena.

Lena was in the bookstore. She was wearing a dark green raincoat and black trousers, her long, dark hair loose. As Kara watched her, she brushed it impatiently out of her face and secured it in a loose bun at the back of her head, shorter wisps curling around her face from the moisture. She had at her feet a package wrapped in brown paper, spotted with rain, resting against her legs.

She didn’t take off her coat, nor did she move from the spot she stood in near the entrance. Lena tugged at her fingers, and after a moment, she shoved both hands in her coat pockets and then back out again, clasping them in front of her, as if she didn’t know what to do with herself. She looked visibly nervous, and Kara had no idea why.

Kara waited her out in silence, glad that there were no other customers in the shop, and glad that Winn wasn’t due in to work for another hour yet.

“Hi,” Lena eventually breathed out, as if it was the hardest word she’d ever had to say. Her green eyes looked imploringly at Kara, who stepped around the desk towards her, passed her, and changed the sign on the door to _closed_.

“Hi, Lena,” she replied as she came back around to lean against the desk, crossing her shaking hands across her chest and folding them into her arms.

“I- um… you disappeared, from the set, I mean,” Lena started in a quiet voice.

“Yes, I… I had to leave. I didn’t want to disturb you or get in the way or anything,” Kara said, wishing that had really been the reason. “You looked busy and I didn’t want to take up your time.”

Lena nodded, and looked down at the floor before looking back up. “How’ve you been?”

“How’ve I- _Lena_ ,” Kara scoffed loudly, and then caught herself as a hurt look flashed over Lena’s face. “I’ve been… okay. You know? I came home after seeing you in Salt Lake City and I’ve been working. I haven’t done much of anything. Just thinking. And doing a lot of running on the treadmill. Everything is the same as always. I’m sure you’ve been busy, though.”

Lena smiled briefly before her face went back to the nervous look she’d had before. “I’ve been busy, yes,” she confirmed. “We finished the shoot a few days ago and, well, I’m- well, I got back here last night. I brought this for you,” she said softly, indicating the package she’d brought with her. She moved it to lean against one of the bookcases.

“Oh,” Kara exclaimed, looking at it once more. “I’m not sure what it’s for, but, thank you. Do you want me to…?”

“No, please, I’d be embarrassed. And it would be easier to transport like this,” she said, making Kara wonder just exactly what it was. “I had it in my apartment in L.A., and I… after seeing you, in Salt Lake City, I had it shipped to New York. And I thought you would… it’s… you’ll see, when you open it.”

Kara looked at it again, watched as a raindrop slid down the paper. “Okay,” she said. “Okay. Thank you, Lena.”

“I didn’t know how to call, I’m sorry,” Lena blurted out. In a quieter voice that was studded with pauses, she continued, “it’s been a lot since, you know, since the press came. And since the photos… it’s been a lot. It’s been so much to think about and Kara, you- you’ve been so good to me. I’ve been offered this role in France that I… anyway. But I don’t know how to… but if I didn’t take it, I wondered whether you might let me… if you might let me see you, a little. Or, a lot,” she smiled again, “maybe. Because I’ve learned that there’s so much I don’t know about you, Kara, and I want to. I want to learn everything about you. And I want to be around you, all the time. When I was away from you, it was so difficult.”

Kara was silent. She didn’t know how to answer that. _Just a friend_.

Lena’s fingers twisted around themselves as she looked over at Kara, clearly wanting to say more, but her face looking as if words had failed her for the first time in a long time. Lena always had words to say. It was unsettling now that she did not, and it spurred Kara into voicing her own.

“And do you want to know me as _just a friend_ , Lena?” she asked, her voice tight.

Confusion crossed Lena’s face at the words, obviously not having anticipated that question. “What do you mean? Why would you think that?”

“I heard what you said to your actor friend, Matt was it? When he asked who I was. You said I was just a friend.” Kara held a hand up to stop Lena from speaking when realized what she was saying and opened her mouth to protest. “I know why you said it. You don’t need to explain. I know you were just covering yourself because you haven’t told people about your sexuality, and my sudden presence was difficult to explain. I’m sorry that I caused that, it wasn’t my intention. I shouldn’t have put you in a position where you had to explain someone you’d never mentioned before.”

Lena’s green eyes. Her dark hair. Her pale skin. Her mere presence in the bookstore was doing crazy things to Kara’s mind and body, and she wanted so desperately to cross the space between them and gather Lena up in her arms and kiss her, and yet…

 “You haven’t told them about yourself yet, have you?” she asked, not accusingly.

Lena sighed, her eyes shining with a sheen that hadn’t been there before. “No. I need… more time.”

 _More time_. There it was again, Kara thought, tears springing to her eyes as she heard them once more.

“And I won’t force you out of the closet. I could never and would never do that to anyone, least of all you. I can’t. I won’t. Coming out of the closet, declaring yourself like that, is a path that only you can take,” Kara said, gesturing at Lena before shaking her hands out and folding her arms across her chest. “You were right. There are so many things that could change as a result of this when it comes to your career, your life. You have worked so hard to have something that was independent of your name. The Luthor name doesn’t deserve you, Lena. You’re far too good for it,” and Kara watched a lone tear make its way down Lena’s cheek before she dashed it away almost angrily with her fingertips. “Your fame is something you can do great things with, but everyone wants a piece of you…”

“Fame is… just a lot of nonsense, Kara,” Lena replied shakily. “It comes and goes like the tide. I could be famous today and a has-been that nobody wants to hear about tomorrow…”

“But… your fame is part of you,” Kara said. She blew out a breath and cleared her throat. “I’m a pretty level-headed girl. I have my job, I have my friends, and maybe it’s not life-changing in the ways that you’re able to achieve, with your worldwide reach. But I _am_ able to help people with my job and I _love_ that. It makes me happy. And… you make me happy…” she said, her voice wavering.

Lena sensed the word that Kara didn’t say. “…but?” she whispered.

Kara cleared her throat again. “But I… you say that you want to know me. To spend time with me. But those are your wants. And although I want them too, Lena… yours are… more selfish. I don’t mean that in a bad way,” she said, and then she started to speak quickly, all her words tumbling out while she still had the courage to say them. “You say you want me to wait for you and I understand it, I do. I couldn’t work here if I didn’t understand that need to have some control over a part of your life you can’t ignore but can’t be honest about. But _every day_ that I have to wait for you breaks my heart. You may have been sheltered away from your feelings a bit more on set but Lena, _I wasn’t_. I can’t go _anywhere_ without being reminded of you. Your face is _everywhere_. Your film just came out, so your face is on billboards. It’s on adverts on the sides of buses. Every magazine stand, there you are. Your smile follows me around the world no matter how I’m feeling. I turn on the TV and there’s a trailer for _the Vehemence_. I can’t even listen to the radio now because someone will start talking about you, or about the film.”

Kara’s tears flowed freely now. She hadn’t any idea that she was about to say any of this, and yet, every word that she uttered was the absolute truth about how she felt. She could see the distress that had lodged itself on Lena’s face, distraught at the thought of hurting Kara without even having known it. Without being able to help it.

“The heart wants what it wants, and I can’t help but want you, Lena. I want you _so badly_. And it’s breaking my heart every day that I can’t have you. That I can’t show the world that I’m proud of you. I can’t hold your hand in public without you having to hide your face. We can’t be together in a way that would be truly… honest. All the things we could… we can’t. It’s like being back in the closet and Lena I- I… I just can’t do that to myself. I can’t. I don’t want to hide us. I know you need time, but… this is crushing me. I don’t know that I can give you what you want. I don’t think that I can.”

Lena made a sudden movement as is if she wanted to jump forward towards Kara, but stopped herself, and stayed rooted to her spot. Kara wiped the tears away from her face and took a few deep breaths, trying to control her thundering heart.

“I’m just… I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry, but with you I’m in… my heart is in real danger. Everyone in the world knows who you are and I’m just... nobody.”

“The fame thing… isn’t really real, you know, it’s so temporary and fickle,” Lena interjected, as if desperate to say something against Kara’s words. Her voice was breaking as she spoke, the anguish clear. “And you’re not nobody. You do so much good in this world, Kara Danvers. You are extraordinary. Don’t think I don’t see that, that I don’t feel that with every part of me. You’re like… the sun, and all I have to do is be near you to be happy. You’re the… you’re the best person I’ve ever come across. You’re good, and you’re kind, and you’ve got _such a beautiful heart_ , Kara… I feel like I’m only me when I’m with you. I know it’s not fair of me to ask what I have of you. And the fame thing is… I’ve said it before. I’m just a person. I’m just a person who needs… underneath everything, I’m just a girl. I’m just a girl, standing in front of you. And I’m… I’m asking you to love me,” she said, her voice broken now, and she looked so very, very young. She looked every inch the vulnerable, brokenhearted, lonely woman that Kara knew she was.

And… finally, Kara had run out of words. She had nothing to say. She couldn’t. She knew that Lena could see the three words she couldn’t say written all over her face. Lena didn’t say them either. As if voicing those words could bring the house of cards they’d carefully built crashing down, and their hearts right along with them.

The silence stretched out between them; a horrible silence laden with emotional despair. In the end, Kara’s decision was made without having to say a word.

Finally, Lena stepped forward. With baby steps, she approached Kara, and then raised her hands to her face and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. The brush of her lips was so gentle that Kara almost didn’t feel it, but she could feel the tremors in Lena’s hands as she cradled her face. She reached up and brushed some of the tears off Lena’s cheekbones with her thumbs before pressing a small kiss to her forehead.

Then, Lena stepped back. Once. Twice. Until she was far enough away that Kara could no longer reach her. As Kara looked at her, she could have sworn that the look in Lena’s beautiful green eyes was determination. She didn’t know what for. It didn’t matter now, anyway.

“Good decision,” Lena managed, her voice sounding scratchy and not at all like she believed what she was saying. Like she’d really hoped Kara’s answer would be different. But she accepted it. “I’ll… I’ll see you,” Lena said, her hand on the door handle.

“Bye, Lena,” Kara whispered.

And just like that, Lena was gone, leaving behind only the scent of her perfume, her tears on Kara’s cheek, and a brown paper parcel.

 

* * * * *

 

It’s two days later when Kara is finally home at the same time as Alex. It’s Wednesday afternoon, and Kara hasn’t been to work since Monday evening, asking Winn to cover for her. He had agreed in an instant; Kara hardly ever asked for her shifts to be covered, so whenever she did, there was a very good reason.

Alex had been staying over at Maggie’s place, celebrating a slight promotion that Maggie had recently been given. So when Alex stomped up the stairs into the kitchen, calling Kara’s name, the sight of the painting leaning up against the wall by the stairs was a bit of a surprise.

Alex was crouching down to examine it when Kara came into the room from the lounge.

“Kara, hey,” Alex said, doing a double-take and standing up immediately at the look on Kara’s face. “Are you alright? What happened? Is something wrong? Where did this painting come from?”

“Lena brought it. It’s… it’s the original _Dancer In Front of A Window_. It’s her favorite by Degas. She saw my print of it upstairs and… she said it reminds her of how l-love should be… free,” Kara trailed off.

“Okay… when did she bring this?” Alex asked slowly.

In answer, Kara didn’t say anything. She threw herself at Alex, who caught her around the waist, and started to sob into her shoulder. Alex carried her weight, and moved them back to the sofa. Haltingly, and through her tears, Kara told Alex everything, leaving out no details. Alex was horrified to discover that she had a part in almost outing Lena to the press. She wasn’t much interested in celebrities and had not had any idea that Lena wasn’t professionally out of the closet. She apologized, over and over, to Kara, for her part in causing the current sadness in her sister’s life.

Sometime after the hour or so it took Kara to cry herself out, Alex had sent Kara to have a bath and then to bed to have a rest, and had organized an impromptu game night. Everyone had dropped everything in order to attend this one, despite both James and Winn having plans they had to reschedule. Everyone had been ordered to bring essentially double the usual amount of food, drinks, and desserts, and Winn had been ordered to avoid all the games that they’d played when Lena had been with them. Alex figured that you could never be too careful. During a breakup with Maggie once, she hadn’t been able to look at anything that reminded her of her then ex-girlfriend, so she thought she would extend the same courtesy to Kara.

At 7:30pm, everyone had arrived, and Alex had briefly explained what had happened, at Kara’s insistence, so that she wouldn’t have to keep repeating the story. Kara had had a nice, relaxing bath, interrupted only by one rather strange shriek from downstairs. She wasn’t sure who it was, or why it had happened, but nobody came up to explain anything, so she’d shrugged it off. She’d put on some of her most comfortable underwear, oversized pajamas and a hoody, and meandered downstairs just before 8pm.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she went downstairs. Sad, kind smiles, maybe. A too-long hug from Winn, perhaps.

It certainly wasn’t for the pandemonium that seemed to have swept through her kitchen. The board games she’d assumed they were going to be playing hadn’t been set up, and horror of horrors, the pizzas hadn’t even been opened. James and Winn were staring at her strangely, and Alex was on the phone, sending glances over at Kara every few seconds. As she was about to open the top-most pizza box, she heard Maggie call her name.

“Kara!! Thank _fuck_ you’re finally here. Come here, we have to watch TV,” Maggie exclaimed quickly, dragging her into the lounge and pushing her into the sofa and turning it on to a recorded show. “Give me your phone,” she demanded, and entirely too surprised to protest, she dumped it into Maggie’s waiting hand. “You can’t look at it.”

“What?” Kara said in a bemused voice. “Why not?”

“Guys guys guys!” Maggie shouted into the kitchen, as if Kara hadn’t asked question. “We’re going to start it!”

Kara was completely confused. She couldn’t recall any TV show she’d wanted to watch desperately enough for her friends to shove her into the seat to get her ready for it. But when Maggie pressed play and it showed the start of the Ellen DeGeneres show, she looked quickly over at Maggie to see whether this was a joke.

“I’m really not in the mood for TV Maggie, even if it’s Ellen,” Kara tried.

“Oh shush, you’ll want to watch this one,” Maggie replied, handing Kara a glass of whisky. Kara sat back in her seat with a thump, resigned to whatever this was.

She watched for a few minutes while Ellen made a few jokes about the week’s news on the screen, and someone won a car.

“And next we have an extra-special guest,” Ellen announced to cheers in the studio. “Now, you may know her from such movies at _the Historian_ and _the Vehemence,_ -”

“Maggie, I don’t want to watch this!”

“But there’s much more to this lady than meets the eye. Please put your hands together for today’s guest, Lena Luthor!” and the audience in the studio burst into cheers. The wind seemed to leave Kara’s chest as Lena walked onto the stage wearing none other than the dress that she had spilled coffee over the first time they’d met. Lena was smiling widely, her hair was loose, hanging silkily over her shoulders, and she gave a big two-handed wave to the audience as she made her way over to Ellen. Her vivid green eyes stood out beautifully against the darker eyeshadow she was wearing. Tears started up in Kara’s eyes. She didn’t think she could sit through this. But when she tried to get up, Alex sat down on the other side of her and planted her legs right over Kara’s waist, her feet in Maggie’s lap.

“Guys, please,” Kara tried, her voice as weak as her attempt to get off the sofa.

But neither Alex nor Maggie made any attempt to move. Why was everyone so set on making her watch this? Resigned, Kara turned her attention back to the TV where Ellen was explaining Lena’s background in science, and Lena sat up, all straight-backed grace and elegance, and brushed her hair away from the side of her face closest to the camera, and Kara felt her heart tip over.

What was this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and for your lovely comments! It means so much to me <3
> 
> Come find me on tumblr: Melui-the-Ravenclaw :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what will happen?! :)
> 
> This is the penultimate chapter, everyone! :)

Kara didn’t think this evening could possibly have taken a stranger turn. She’d had a terrible few days, and now being stuck on the sofa watching the reason for her heartache on the TV was decidedly not helping. This was really what she’d meant when she’d told Lena about not being able to go anywhere without being reminded of Lena. And now, apparently, Alex and her friends were helping in her torture.

She felt her traitorous heart skip a beat when Lena smiled her glittering smile at Ellen, and Kara tried once more to get up. Maggie elbowed her in the side and Alex put her arm across her middle, preventing her from moving. She looked over pleadingly at Alex and whined.

“Trust me,” Alex said quietly. “You really, _really_ want to watch this.”

 _I really,_ really _don’t think I do_ , Kara thought to herself, but resigned herself to watching it anyway. She swallowed a mouthful of whisky, feeling it burn a line down her throat as she watched Ellen and Lena smile at each other.

****

**_Ellen: So, Lena. Thank you so much for coming on the show today! I know it was a bit last-minute._ **

**Lena:** It’s my pleasure. It’s always nice to talk to you!

**_Ellen: So, tell us a little about the film you’ve just finished shooting?_ **

**Lena:** I can tell you that it’s set mostly in space. My character is a scientist who’s trying to design a safer, faster way to travel between planets, and she and her team are on their way to another planet when they sort of… get kidnapped by space pirates. I’m describing it really badly, but it’s honestly great. It’s a comedy, and we’ve had such a laugh shooting it. I even got to do most of my own stunts in this film, which was a lot of fun. My stunt double was wandering around a little bored while she waited for the rest of the stunt department to decide whether or not I was allowed to do certain things. But I had to wear my hair in a high ponytail for the majority of the shoot and I have to say, the hair headaches were really something else!

**_Ellen: This film is a little bit of a departure for you. If I recall, you haven’t done much in the way of sci-fi before now. What made you choose this one?_ **

**Lena:** To be honest, I had been sent the script by a friend who I’d worked with before. She wasn’t going to be able to do it due to work schedules. I hadn’t had time to look over it until a couple of months ago, when another friend of mine convinced me that space pirates and laser gun battles would be a fun thing to do. I read the script a few times, and looking at it through her eyes, I was convinced that this would be very entertaining, not just to film, but for audiences to watch as well. I called the director and set up a meeting. And here we are!

**_Ellen: You shot a lot of it in the Moab desert, is that correct?_ **

**Lena:** Yes! It was very beautiful there. I hadn’t been there since I was fairly young. It was boiling in the daytime, but freezing at night. I was very grateful for my hot water bottles when I was sitting outside at night.

**_Ellen: You sat outside at night? That’s brave._ **

**Lena:** Well, it’s the best way to see the stars, right?

 

Kara found herself staring intently at Lena whenever the camera was on her. She looked confident, like she was glowing even. She looked completely put-together.

On the screen, Lena was smiling indulgently as she described how the low levels of light pollution make the stars much easier to see. On the screen behind them, Ellen put up a photo Lena had taken of the Milky Way using some very expensive camera equipment, and the audience ooh’d and aah’d, and Ellen asked her whether photography was a hobby of hers. Lena rested her hands on her thighs explained that it was the only creative art she’d ever been good at. Lena attributed this to her teenage self’s desire to master the science behind a camera and spending time that she should’ve been studying practicing her photography instead. Something, she added with a laugh, that her mother was not especially pleased by.

****

**_Ellen: But you weren’t there all the time, were you? There was been a lot of work in the film studio._ **

**Lena:** That’s correct. But we kept going out there to shoot any, let’s say, location footage. There was a very large set with what will look like a whole space station in it once editing is done with it. I promise it’s going to be a very fun movie, and I hope you’ll go to see it when it comes out!

**_Ellen: I will. So, Lena. Recently, there have been some photos of you circulating the internet. From my notes, they were taken when you were younger. Could you tell us about them?_ **

**Lena:** Certainly. To be clear, I was not taken advantage of in any way when the photos in question were taken. I was 21 years old, and I wanted to do something radical. Something that had nothing at all to do with what my brother had done, that my mother wouldn’t approve of, and that would be just for me.

**_Ellen: You wanted to distance yourself from the Luthor name?_ **

**Lena:** I did. The family gave me a lot, and I loved my brother, but I can’t under any circumstances condone what he did, what he was planning. That was not the brother I knew. I wasn’t part of his plans, and I had no intention of being tarred by the same brush. Although, I was, inevitably, whether I wanted to be or not _._

**_Ellen: So, you tried to break into a different career?_ **

**Lena:** Yes. I tried to get into acting. I had always loved acting at school. I was sent to boarding school in Ireland during the school years, and I remained there during holidays, except during the summers when I came back here. I picked up an Irish accent, which still comes out if I’m very happy, very angry, or very drunk [laughs]. It’s a convenient disguise sometimes when I want to be anonymous in a crowd. If someone recognizes me, I just pretend I’m an Irish tourist.

**_Ellen: You’ve just given away your secret!_ **

**Lena:** I suppose I have! Oops. Well, anyway, I wanted something that was just mine, to be something apart from my name. I wasn’t really very well known in the press, I’d spent most of my life in schools or the labs up until that point, and suddenly everybody knew my name, and nobody wanted anything to do with me. I had those photos taken firstly to stick my middle finger up at my mother, to be frank, and also because I was 21 and trying to rebel for the first time in my life. The photos were never meant to be seen. My team has, now, thankfully found the source. Although, now that they’re out there on the internet, I suppose they’ll always be there. I was distraught at the time, but there’s nothing to be done for it. At least they were good photos.

**_Ellen: And what about the photos that were taken of you recently in New York? Once these other photos were taken, you disappeared off the face of the earth it seemed, before reappearing in Williamsburg._ **

**Lena:** And that’s the crux of this, really, isn’t it? Yes, there were some photos of me taken lately in New York. I wanted a chance to explain this, in my own works, and on my own terms.

**_Ellen: What was the meaning behind these photos?_ **

**Lena:** The point is not the photos themselves; the discussion that these photos has brought up is what needs to be addressed. When the previous photos of me were released, I was obviously distressed. I went to the home of a friend of mine, who very kindly offered me a place to stay and wait out the media storm. I’m afraid she had to put up with rather a lot of bad moods on my part, but she and her friends were very patient, and gave me the time and space I needed. The photos taken of us both, but particularly of her, I will say, were a gross invasion of her privacy.

 

Kara was paying rapt attention to the TV by now, leaning forward in her seat. She didn’t notice Alex and Maggie exchanging glances at each other behind her back. On the screen, Lena was still continuing to explain.

 

 **Lena:** The rumors that have circulated since the photos were taken have centered around the speculation about my sexuality. To be clear, I have always tried my best to keep my private life private. I don’t have Facebook, I don’t have Twitter, and I only use Instagram for work purposes. Thanks to my last name and my family, my last name has meant that my life has been public in ways that were never of my own choosing. My decision to become an actress, to put myself on the world stage like this, um… although this level of fame was never something I expected, although I am very grateful for it, was my own. I wanted my own media presence to be about me, not about my brother and his crimes, not about my mother and her political aspirations. I believe that everyone should be judged on their own merits and their own words alone.

**_Ellen: And is there anything else that you want to address, regarding the rumors?_ **

**Lena:** Well, yes. I want to put them to bed. I’m fed up of the speculation and I’d rather set the record straight, pardon the pun.

**_Ellen: And what is the truth about the rumors?_ **

 

Kara held her breath. She couldn’t help it. Onscreen, Lena looked the picture of calm, but Kara recognized the way that Lena was holding one of her thumbs with the other hand, and knew that she was far more nervous than she was letting on.

 

 **Lena:** The truth is that I date women. And I date women exclusively.

****

Ellen, the audience, and everyone in Kara’s living room erupted into screams and cheers. Kara couldn’t help the tears that welled up in her eyes and coursed down her cheeks. Lena looked slightly bashful at the reception her news had caused, but at the same time, looked extremely gratified. The dimples in her face were as clear as day, and her eyes were shining. Eventually, as the cheers went on and on, Lena started to laugh, and stood up to accept the hug that Ellen offered her. And on her sofa, Kara cracked the first real smile she had in days. Behind her, Alex and Maggie high-fived.

****

**_Ellen: Wow! Lena! And so, this is you coming out of the closet?_ **

**Lena:** Yes. And I have to say that it’s such a relief to finally do that!

**_Ellen: So… you’re gay!_ **

**Lena:** Quite so! [laughs]

**_Ellen: Is this… a new realization?_ **

**Lena:** No. I’ve actually known about my sexuality since I was quite young.

**_Ellen: Aren’t you afraid that coming out will impact your career?_ **

**Lena:** Lately, I’ve realized something very important. Something could always impact my career. I could take a bad role and get typecast. I could say something that offends people and scupper myself that way. There are any number of things that could derail my career and if it’s this, well, then I’ve had a good run and I’ve done a lot of work that I’m very proud of. To be honest, equally, this could move my career in a positive direction. I could use my name to help people. I don’t always need to star in a film with a male lead opposite me, after all. Look, to be quite frank, I love my job. I love being able to play so many different types of roles, and in different genres. Being in this job is a tremendous gift and I’ve loved every minute of it, even if sometimes that’s in hindsight. I wouldn’t want to lose it because I’m finally trying to be honest in my own life and with the world. At the end of the day, for me personally, life is about what you come home to at night. And I don’t want that to be an empty apartment. I want it to be a home with someone who loves me as much as I love them.

**_Ellen: Okay, I’m sure the audience wants to know! Are you dating anyone right now?_ **

**Lena:** I don’t date much, due to one thing and another, but I’m also so busy that I’m never sure of a good time to start seeing someone. My schedule is often unfair on partners.

 **_Ellen:_ ** **_We’ll leave aside that you’ve neatly circumvented that question for now. What do you look for in a partner? Do you have a type?_ **

**Lena:** I wouldn’t say I have a type. Looks are fluid and change all the time. It would be foolish to say that looks have no factor at all, but I think that they shouldn’t be the deciding one. Above all, I value kindness. Thoughtfulness. Honesty is integral, in both your words and your actions. Which is perhaps ironic given this massive secret of mine that I’ve just told you all, but the people I’m close to in my life have always known about this part of me. It just wasn’t public knowledge. My line of work can often be very ruthless, and what I’d love is to come home to someone who would allow me to have a bath and put my feet up, and not treat me as if I’m on a pedestal above everyone else. I’m not _._ At the end of the day, for me personally, life is about what you come home to at night, not what you do at work. And I don’t want what I come home to, to be an empty apartment, like it is now. There, I’ve answered your question! Eventually, I want wherever I’m living to be a home with someone who loves me as much as I love them. With maybe some dogs.

**_Ellen: So, what would suitors need to do in order to woo Lena Luthor?_ **

**Lena:** Bring me donuts and books [laughs]. Be willing to discuss geeky things with me.

**_Ellen: Are you a geek then?_ **

**Lena:** I’m afraid to say that I’m a massive geek! I saw Harrison Ford once and thought I was going to faint.

**_Ellen: So, if you had a partner, what would be your ideal way to spend a morning?_ **

**Lena:** Cuddling up in bed.

**_Ellen: How about the best way to spend an evening?_ **

**Lena:** Cuddling up on the sofa? [laughs] I don’t know, I’m really kind of a homebody. Hot chocolate with a mountain of marshmallows, books, a TV show I love. Candles. I really prefer natural light over anything artificial wherever possible. I’ve certainly got enough candles to see me through an apocalypse, should that ever happen.

**_Ellen: Do you believe in true love?_ **

**Lena:** With all my heart. I have to believe that it’s out there for everyone. What’s the point, otherwise?

 

As the audience cheered and the TV program ended, Alex, Maggie, James, and Winn stared at Kara, who was sitting feeling shellshocked.

Finally, Winn’s voice broke through the silence. “ _Damn_ , girl, what the hell did you say to her on Monday?!”

Everyone was staring at Kara as if they expected her to know what to say to that. Kara’s mouth gaped open and shut like a fish. “Ummm,” she managed. “Uhh…” Kara cleared her throat. “Maggie, can you pass me the control please?” she croaked. When Maggie complied, she rewound the program until she reached the part where Lena came out of the closet. And then she watched it again, and again. She watched the way Lena’s face changed from apprehension to delight, from nerves to relief. She watched as Lena started to laugh, and then Kara started to laugh. And once she started, she couldn’t stop until she was almost hysterical.

Maggie handed Kara her phone again, and all the notifications across her social media and news apps were exclusively to do with Lena. “Lena Luthor comes out of the closet!” screamed basically every headline, and she was the top trend on Twitter worldwide. She scrolled through the tweets, almost all of them flipping out as much as Kara was.

Scrolling quickly down her contacts, she touched Lena’s name and then pressed call. It went directly to voicemail. She pulled her cell away from her ear and frowned at it, before repeating the action. Straight to voicemail again.

“She’s probably on the phone with everyone and their long-lost aunt,” Alex said gently, seeing the worried look cross Kara’s face. “She just came out on international television.”

“Yeah,” Kara squeaked, then cleared her throat. “Yeah, you’re right, I- umm. Well, wow, I don’t even really know what… I mean, what-”

She gazed around at all her friends, and at Alex. All of them were still looking back at her, expressions varying between excitement and… was that _pity_ on James’ face? Why?

“What- fuck, what do you think I should do?” Kara put her face in her hands and groaned. “This is everything I wanted,” she mumbled against her palms, before rubbing her hands against her face and blowing out a huge breath.

“That depends on what you actually do want, Kara,” Maggie said, her voice sounding more concerned than Kara would’ve expected, and she looked across at her. Maggie looked a little bit contrite, apprehensive, as if she didn’t want to make any more suggestions that might turn out as badly as the Salt Lake City trip.

“When she came to the shop, I told her… I told her that I couldn’t put myself back in the closet. I said that everyone wants a piece of her, that her fame was… she’s _Lena Luthor_. The whole world knows her name and I’m just… me…” Kara finished, trailing off into silence.

Alex gave her a firm look. “What did she say when you told her that?” Alex already knew what Lena had said, and Kara knew she was only saying this so that Kara would have to say the words again. And maybe this time take them more to heart.

Kara groaned again. “She said that fame wasn’t really real and that I was… that I was like the sun and that all she has to do to be happy is to be near me.”

Alex reached over to put her hand on top of Kara’s. “And she said that you weren’t nothing.”

Kara nodded quickly, and sighed. “When we’ve talked before, it always seemed like she had a choice to make between her career and her private life. Like… the choice was that stark, you know? Her career and everything that goes along with it, because her coming out would change it in unpredictable ways, or actually coming out and accepting everything that could happen and… and having a life. With someone.”

Maggie leaned over and put her hand on top of Alex’s and squeezed both of their hands. “With you, you mean?”

Kara glanced up at Maggie, feeling her eyes well up. Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded again.

From the corner of the room, she heard James’ voice pipe up. “Kara, this might sound a little weird coming from me given, well, you know, but it really sounds like she chose you, once she had time to think about everything. Her coming out, does that change things for you?”

“I think-” Kara started, but she was interrupted by Winn’s indignant voice.

“Kara!” he exclaimed loudly, making everyone bar Alex jump. “Of course it changes things! It changes _everything_. For the last few weeks, months, I’ve had to listen to you moon over Lena. Like, really. All the time. More than any of you including _you_ , Alex,” he said, pointing directly at Alex’s face. She batted his hand away. “When you’re not actively talking about her or texting her, you’ve clearly been daydreaming about her. Frankly I’m amazed we haven’t had overorders of random books we’ve never heard of because your head has been completely in the clouds. And as much as I love all this introspection and rehashing all the conversations you’ve had with her, you clearly love this girl – and just to be clear, I also love her, because she’s _Lena freaking Luthor_ and a huge science nerd who is so interesting to talk to – so _please_ , for the love of all the potstickers in New York, _stop_ sitting on the fence and _take_ the opportunity that Lena has just handed to you on a giant rainbow plate and go get your girl!”

As silence reigned, everyone stared at Winn with dumbfounded looks on their faces. Kara gaped at him.

“Winn!”

“I’m sorry Kara, but if you don’t do this, I’ll… I’ll never be your partner at game night again!”

“If Kara does what she really should, you wouldn’t be her partner at game night anyway, Winn,” Alex said slyly, causing Winn to pout.

Everyone sat in silence for a few moments after Winn’s outburst.

“I… made a mistake turning Lena down, didn’t I?” Kara murmured slowly, more to herself than anyone else.

“Well… if I’m honest, you know I like Lena, but maybe it wasn’t a mistake to turn her down at the time. But I know you Kara, and Lena outing herself on international television is pretty much the biggest gesture that she could’ve done to show you how she feels. It looks like she’s willing to take all the risks that go along with coming out in her profession…” Alex said in response, looking thoughtful.

“It… it would be a mistake not to go after her, wouldn’t it?” Kara said, looking around at everyone.

Alex was nodding and smiling, before she started speaking again. “I think so. Everyone’s always going to know who Lena Luthor is, Kara. That’s a consequence of her being famous. But only you know who _Lena_ is. Who she is around _you_ , and that's what's most important here. What does your heart tell you?”

Kara grinned back at her. “It tells me that I need to go after her.”

“That’s my girl!” Winn burst out, holding his hand up for a high five, which Kara enthusiastically returned, making Winn wince and shake his hand.

Finally, Alex and Maggie let Kara off the sofa. She had a lot of calls to try to make. She had to find Lena. Kara enlisted Alex and Maggie’s help, and they both pulled their cell phones out to try to get in touch with a friend who knew a friend whose cousin worked in movies, or something. James and Winn went home, both of them having to work tomorrow morning. Kara was meant to be working too, but she already knew Winn would be covering for her, and she was very grateful.

Try as she might, Kara was not able to get through to Lena’s number. She didn’t have her work number, or her email address. Every time she called, the line was either engaged, or the cell was off altogether. She sent multiple text messages, not saying anything in particular other than _call me_ , not wanting to have any kind of important discussion over messages. However, none of the messages got the double-tick of being delivered.

As the night wore on, Kara was torn between being extremely frustrated that she couldn’t get hold of Lena at all, although she wasn’t all too surprised about that given her announcement on the TV. Her phone had probably died after all the use it was no doubt getting from who knows who. But on the other hand, Kara really just wanted to dance around her room singing to every romantic song she could think of.

Quite aside from what Lena had done could possibly do for both of them, Kara was immensely proud of Lena’s bravery. So, so proud. She certainly hadn’t gone about it in a quiet way. The last time she’d seen Lena, on Monday, she’d asked for more time. More time had turned into only two days before she’d dropped this deeply personal information into the world.

When she’d seen her in Salt Lake City, she had told Lena that it looked like she had made a decision. At the time, she’d thought that Lena had chosen her career. Her eyes had been so sad when she’d looked at Kara, but maybe Kara had misinterpreted her. Well. She clearly had misinterpreted Lena’s meaning, not that they’d had much of a chance to talk about it considering they’d been interrupted immediately afterwards. When had Lena filmed the Ellen interview? Had it been after Kara had visited her?

Lena hadn’t come out quietly. She’d gone on one of the biggest talk shows in the world, and said it loudly to the whole world. Judging by Ellen’s reaction, she’d had no idea that Lena was going to say that. Had anyone in the studio? Who had requested the interview? Kara’s mind was so full of questions. She was never going to be able to sleep like this. Her body felt like it was sitting on a livewire. Her cell was nearly dead from overuse, so she plugged it in to charge.

And then Kara picked up her paints and began. She painted and painted, more scenes from the story that Lena had imagined on the phone that time Kara had painted the woods and the castle. She painted for hours, trying to ignore the silence coming from her cell, until she eventually staggered over to her bed and fell asleep.

 

* * * * *

 

When Kara woke up the next day, she wasn’t sure what had woken her. She lifted her face from the pillow and winced as her cheek seemed to peel itself painfully off it. Staring down at the pillow, and then down herself, she realized that she had pretty much painted herself to the bed last night. Groaning, she rolled over and sleepily stared at the ceiling for a moment before she sat bolt upright and grabbed her phone.

She had text messages. Sent a couple of hours ago.

 **Lena:** Can we talk? I’m sorry, my PR person took my cell off me last night

 **Lena:** Kara?

 **Lena:** I’m sure you’ll have seen the news by now. I don’t know whether this changes things for you or not. If you want to talk and you’re able to, I’ll be at the James hotel. I know it’s not much notice, it was last-minute for me too, but I have to give a press conference at 10am, but I’ll be there for a while before, if you decide you want to. I’ll understand if you don’t, but… selfishly, I hope that you do

 **Lena:** I really hope you do

Kara looked at the time on the top of her screen and felt a horrified look settle on her face. 10:07am.

Shouting out a list of expletives that would’ve made Eliza and even Alex cringe, Kara rocketed out of bed and ripped her pajama bottoms off, pulling on a pair of jeans. She changed her hoody for a clean one, jammed her feet into the first sneakers she could see, brushed her teeth and rushed downstairs. Alex and Maggie were already up, and they looked surprised to see Kara so frazzled.

“Alex!” she near shouted, and Alex jumped. “Can you take me to the James hotel like, right now?”

“What for?” Alex asked, but got up quickly when she saw the urgent expression on Kara’s face, and looked around for her keys.

“Lena is giving a press conference there. She sent me a text last night to ask if I could meet her before the press conference!”

“Okay Kara, calm down, when were you supposed to meet her? And what time is the press conference?” Maggie asked her, pulling her shoes on.

“It started at 10am, and I was meant to be there before but I only just got the messages!” Kara burst out, feeling like she was on the edge of panic.

All three of them rushed down the hall and out of the door, and around the corner to where Alex parked her car. Kara had been telling Alex to get rid of it for ages because she barely used it, but she was grateful now that Alex hadn’t listened. They all piled in and Alex pulled out into traffic. It would be about half an hour to the hotel, and Kara spent the whole time checking her cell even though Lena wouldn’t be able to message her during the press conference. Kara hadn’t seen the messages in time. She wondered whether Lena was sad that she hadn’t shown up beforehand. Or whether she was wondering if Kara would be coming at all. There wasn’t any point in texting her now if she was in front of the press; she wouldn’t be able to look at her cell anyway.

When they got nearby, Kara practically dived out of the car and ran down the street towards the hotel, closely followed by Maggie, while Alex found somewhere to park the car. It was already nearly 11am. Kara pushed her way through the hotel doors and into the lobby, making her way swiftly over to the reception.

Slightly out of breath, she asked the receptionist where she could find the Lena Luthor press conference. The receptionist looked down at Kara’s clothes dubiously, and Kara self-consciously scrubbed at her cheek as she belatedly realized that she probably hadn’t got all the paint off.

Glancing to her left, she could see Maggie was about to say something, when she heard someone behind her mention the conference. Whipping around, she saw a couple of men walking away from them, and one of them was _carrying a camera_. She and Maggie looked at each other, then raced after the cameraman and whoever they were with. Rushing down into a corridor, they spotted the two men disappear into a room, but when they got there, they found their way blocked by security men.

“Press pass please,” one of them said, giving Kara a cold stare.

_Shit._

“Ah I, um,” she stuttered, patting her pockets as if that was somehow going to turn up a fictional press pass.

She heard Maggie curse next to her and then saw her hold her NYPD police badge to the security guard’s face. “Will that do?” she said loudly. She two security guards looked at each other and nodded their assent. Kara stood stock still for a second before Maggie pushed her forward and came after her, muttering that she was probably going to get in trouble for that.

As they pushed the door open, there was a cacophony of noise. There seemed to be a forest of camera equipment, an entire sea of people crowding the room, the press sitting in rows of chairs and all shouting their questions. There were loads of booms sticking up in the air and pointing towards a dais at the far end of the conference room. Kara’s eyes frantically followed their direction until they landed on the people on the dais. And on Lena.

There she was, Lena, and Kara’s whole body seemed to sag in relief. She was sitting behind a table and her hair was down, slightly wavy as if she’d let it dry naturally after washing it, and for some reason, Kara’s heart felt soft at the sight of it. Lena was smiling, but she looked exhausted, and even from the back of the room, Kara could see the circles under her eyes that her makeup hadn’t quite been able to hide.

Maggie prodded her in the back, urging her forwards towards the press so that she could push her way closer to the stage. Luckily, nobody was really looking at her; they were too focused on making sure they picked up on every answer Lena was giving to the press.

“Tom Jackson from the Tribune. Why did you decide to come out now, after all this time?” a journalist asked, when he was handed the microphone.

Kara looked up at Lena, who sighed visibly, if not audibly. “I just felt it was time. Honestly, the speculation around my sexuality was harming my private life. I didn’t want to stay in the closet forever. And lately I came to the realization that I really wasn’t ever going to be happy, or make anyone else happy, by not being honest about this.”

The journalist nodded, and sat back down, passing the microphone to someone else.

“Olivia Thompson, NYT. Is it true you’re going to be moving to France for the foreseeable future?”

Kara felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. What? Lena hadn’t… but wait, she had mentioned that. In the shop, on Monday. Something about France. Before she could wrack her brains too much, Lena was speaking again.

“I have recently been offered a part in a long-running TV show that’s being filmed in France, yes. I would be living there maybe nine months out of the year, maybe a little longer. To be honest I… I’m still unsure about taking the part. It would take me away from home for a very long time. That being said, I adore France, and spending a large amount of time there really isn’t the worst idea in the world!” Lena said with a slight laugh that the sea of journalists returned.

Internally, Kara was panicking more than before. She pushed through the crowd until she was fairly near the microphone. She gestured at herself and the organizer handed it to her with barely a shrug. She took it in her hands, and all of a sudden, she could feel the eyes of the press looking at her expectantly. She hadn’t prepared a question. She looked up to the dais. Lena was taking a sip of water and listening to something that the woman next to her was saying close to her ear, before she nodded.

“This will be the last question,” the woman announced to the room, and everyone started clamoring for the microphone in Kara’s hands. She yanked it away from someone who tried to take if off her, and cleared her throat into the microphone, hearing it echo around the room. She winced.

“Um, Kara Danvers from CatCo Magazine,” she said nervously into the microphone. Immediately, Lena head snapped up and around, searching the crowd. After what felt like an eternity, but was really only a second or two at most, green eyes landed on blue. Lena gave her a hesitant smile and raised her eyebrow slightly as she waited for her question.

“Umm… is there… when you were last here, you were photographed… sort of… with a girl in Williamsburg. I just wondered if… if there was something more than friendship there?” Kara asked, her hands shaking, but her voice thankfully much steadier.

She watched Lena shift uncomfortably in her chair before leaning forward towards the microphone. Her voice was low as she spoke. “I had hoped that there was, yes, but… in the end, I was assured that… we couldn’t be together.”

Kara opened her mouth again to speak, but the microphone was pulled away from her as the woman next to Lena shouted an end to the questions.

“No,” Lena said loudly, her hand on the woman’s shoulder, but she was looking at Kara. “Please. Let her continue.”

The microphone was pushed back into Kara’s hands, from whom, she couldn’t say. She stared up at Lena.

“The um,” she started, and her voice came out in a squeak. “The girl-”

“I think her name was Kyra, or something like that,” another journalist somewhere to the left of Kara supplied. Kara smiled slightly.

“Yes, um, her, thanks. If Kara was to… to come and say that she’d made the biggest mistake of her life in turning you down,” she said, every head turning towards her as she spoke, “and said… golly,” Kara burst out, almost stamping a foot that was full of adrenaline. The people around her laughed a bit.

“Yes?” Lena prompted, her eyes locked almost anxiously on Kara’s.

Kara’s silence stretched out a second too long, and suddenly all the journalists around her seemed to realize who she was. That she was the girl. She found microphones pointing her way now as people nudged each other and pointed. _Well_ , she thought. _No time like the present. If Lena can do it, so can I_.

“The last time we saw each other, you told me that you were just a girl. Standing in front of me. And you asked something of me that I… I- didn’t answer. And oh god, I am _so_ sorry for saying absolutely nothing in response to everything you said. But this whole thing you did has…” she waved her hand around her, vaguely indicating the press. “But I wanted to tell you, Lena, that I will. That I do, _so_ much. And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before but I- but if you’ll have me, I…” Kara ground to a halt, thinking that that was perhaps the most inelegant and inarticulate speech she’d ever given. She hadn’t even said the three most important words. But…

But up on the dais was Lena. And as Kara gazed at her, willing her to understand what she was saying, Lena’s face slowly broke into the biggest, most radiant smile she had ever seen on anyone. Her eyes crinkled at the corners, and soon, it was if Lena’s whole body was smiling. Around them, the journalists and cameramen clearly couldn’t decide which direction to point their microphones or cameras. At the superstar on the stage, giving everyone a megawatt smile, or at the girl standing in the middle of the crowd, clutching her own microphone with shaking hands and a nervous smile on her face. All around Kara were murmurs, questions, camera flashes.

Suddenly, from the back of the hall came a shout. “Go get your girl, Kara!”

Kara looked around and tried to see over the heads of the journalists. She saw Alex, sticking her head through the now open doors, clearly being gently stopped from entering by the security men. Alex was waving at her, urging her to move.

Finally, Kara felt her own smile widen, stretching across her face uncontrollably. Maggie shoved her from behind, not hard, but enough to propel her forward. Lena was whispering to the woman next to her, clearly her PR person, who in turn indicated to the security men at the edges of the dais that Kara was allowed to approach.

As Kara approached, pushing past people, Lena herself stood up and moved away from her chair. She was wearing a deep blue dress with red accents, and she made her way to the stairs at the edge of the dais. Kara finally broke free of everyone, and someone took the microphone away from her again. Lena came down the steps and rounded the security men, coming to a halt less than a foot in front of Kara.

Cameras flashed all around them and the room seemed to hold a collective breath as Lena lifted a shaking hand to cup Kara’s face. “You have paint in your hair,” she murmured to Kara, before smiling hopefully at her. Her green eyes were sparkling and full of longing, of hope and joy. And, finally, Kara couldn’t stand to be so close to Lena without _doing_ something. With one hand, she gently brushed the hair away from Lena’s face, digging it into raven hair, hearing Lena sigh. She wrapped her other arm around Lena’s waist, pulling her flush against her own body. Time seemed to freeze for a moment, an exquisite moment, before Kara grinned and closed the distance between them, crushing their lips together in a bruising kiss, right in front of the world’s press. Lena’s hands came up to tangle in Kara’s hair, returning the kiss with everything she had. And Kara? Kara felt like she was home.

All around them, the cheers and wolf whistles rang out.

 

* * * * *

 

Two and a half hours later, after Lena had pulled her upstairs to her hotel room ostensibly to talk, Kara was lying with her head on Lena’s chest, their skin salty with sweat and the happy tears neither of them mentioned. Kara had her arm wrapped around Lena’s waist, and Lena rested one hand on Kara’s upper arm while the other stroked softly through her hair.

Occasionally, her fingers got caught in some paint, causing them both to laugh when Lena tried her best to pull it out of Kara’s hair without hurting her.

They hadn’t done much talking in the last little while, both being too happy to be around each other again. All of their emotions were released by way of fingers trailing tortuously up bare skin, bites, scratches, and tongues pressing into soft places. They took time to rediscover each other, and gasps, moans, and whispered names had taken the place of talking.

“Hey… Lena?” Kara asked quietly.

“Hmm?” Lena replied, scooting down the bed a little and turning to look at Kara, kissing her gently.

Kara pressed into the kiss, brushing her tongue across Lena’s bottom lip, before resting back on the pillow. “I know you got asked the press conference but… but why did you do it? I mean, it seemed to come out of the blue a bit and,” Kara sat up suddenly, startling Lena, who sat up as well. “When did you film it? When… I mean, it was so _public!_ ”

Lena chuckled to herself. Kara glanced across at her, a frown borne of confusion crossing her face, but Lena kept on smiling at her, brushing the backs of her knuckles down Kara’s cheek.

“Darling, do you really not know why I did it?” she asked quietly, her voice colored with amusement.

“Earlier you said it was because of honesty. I mean, I only got there just as that question got asked so I’ve no idea what you may have said just before that and,” Kara blew out a massive breath and rubbed her eye. “Okay, slow down. Back in Salt Lake City, you sounded like you’d made your decision. And at the time it felt like… it felt like you were going to choose your career over your private life,” _over me_ , she didn’t say, “and then you came to the shop and you asked for more time. And…” she shrugged, suddenly shy. “I guess I don’t know what changed your mind.”

“That is a question with a long answer but… _you_ changed my mind,” Lena said firmly, leaving no room for argument on Kara’s part. “When I was standing there after asking you… to love me, and you didn’t say anything, I realized that you were right. About everything that you’d said.” Her voice didn’t sound amused any longer. It sounded more… insecure. “That by asking you to wait I’d asked you to go back into the closet without even having realized it. It was unfair of me, and so wrong. I didn’t want to be responsible for that and… I thought, you know, I didn’t want to be in the closet any more either, not if it meant that I could never be happy. And I wasn’t happy, Kara. Whenever I wasn’t with you, I wasn’t happy. It was _exhausting_ to pretend to be someone I wasn’t in my private life as well as for my job. And I realized that there is no good time to come out of the closet. What was I waiting for, exactly? And I felt like if I made a… I hesitate to say _grand gesture_ , but that’s precisely what it was in the end, wasn’t it? But whether or not it made any difference to how you felt about… me, about _us_ , I wanted to make it. To show you that you made me brave enough to do it. It wasn’t _for_ you, exactly, so much as it was… you who gave me the push to do it. For me.”

Kara slid her hand into Lena’s, and was surprised to find that they were shaking slightly, as if Lena was still nervous, even now.

“I got back home to my apartment after seeing you at the bookstore, and it struck me just empty it was. It’s professional and comfortable, and it’s filled with things I like, but right then, it didn’t feel like a home. It just felt like somewhere I go to when I want to be away from the world. And as I was sitting on my sofa I looked around and I noticed that I didn’t have any photos around. There’s nothing of me in that apartment, really. It looks like a show home and honestly it struck me at that moment just how empty my life is without someone in it who loves me as much as I love them. What’s a home with nobody in it?”

“Oh, Lena,” Kara murmured, squeezing her hand but staying quiet, sensing that Lena had more she wanted to say.

Lena smiled slightly. “I made the call to Ellen’s producers immediately. My agent had been trying to get me on there for a while, and luckily, on the Tuesday evening, a guest of hers had backed out due to one thing or another. And I took the slot. I didn’t tell her what I was going to say. The only thing I asked her to ask me about were the photos that they took of us. I didn’t want anything to sound rehearsed. I didn’t know how she was going to phrase anything. And then she asked and I saw the opening and I just… I thought of you, darling. And I said it.” Lena was smiling more genuinely now, at the memory of having actually done it, sitting up more and more as she kept talking. “It was the most freeing thing! And in the end… you know, I didn’t do it in the hope that it would change your mind, exactly... because everything else that you said, about my fame, I mean, is all valid. They’re always picking away at me in the press about my career, my family, what I ate for breakfast. But you know what? They’re going to do that anyway whether I’m in the closet or not. I needed to be honest.”

Lena looked across at Kara and cupped her face in her hand, kissing her lips in a brief kiss, and Kara felt warm all over. “And I need to be honest now. There are so many reasons to come out. But as I was sitting there looking at that empty apartment, I knew that I wanted to make it a home with someone I love. Or maybe not even there. Maybe a house somewhere, with a dog, or two dogs. Somewhere I can come home at the end of the day and kiss the woman I love, curl up on the sofa with her and eat pizza and watch _the Walking Dead_ , bicker over which coffee to buy or how to make the best hot chocolate. Discuss vacations we could take together…”

Kara’s own hands were shaking now, from nerves or excitement, she couldn’t tell. All she knew was that Lena was telling her everything she wanted to hear.

“I know that you said my wants were selfish, and you were right about that as well. But I… when I think about putting paintings on the walls of this hypothetical house, I want them to be yours,” Lena said, sounding earnest and the longing in her low voice was clear. “The photo frames around the place? I want you, me, and our friends and your family to be in them. I want to go places and watch you paint the same things I’m taking photos of. I haven’t celebrated Thanksgiving for years, but… I think, it would be really lovely to spend it with you. I want to be with you Kara, I love you so much, I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. It was a sad life, empty of the things that matter the most to me. I want to show the whole world how much I love you. I don’t want to hide. I told you once that you’re like the sunshine in my life, and you are. You spilled coffee on a lonely girl, who didn’t even truly understand how lonely she was, and changed her life completely. And I love you. I love you for all the little ways you make me smile. I love the way your own happiness makes me feel. I love being around your family. You… you remind me of who I really am, without the fame, without the press, without anything that comes with that. You’ve reminded me of who I am and what’s most important in life. Loving someone with your whole being is the most wonderful thing in the world. And… darling, I’ll love you forever. And if… if you want _me_ , too, I’ll smile forever and spend my life making you as happy as you make me.”

Kara looked up at Lena. Took in her shining green eyes, her earnest but shy smile, the dark hair naturally curling around her face. The expression on her face was… free. Lena looked over at Kara, bringing her hand up to rest on Kara’s bare shoulder, her thumb gently moving across her skin.

“I think that…” Kara watched Lena’s hopeful face, “I think that spilling coffee on an expensive Givenchy dress being worn by a beautiful, but lonely, girl was one the best things I’ve ever done.” And Lena laughed then, a wonderful, musical laugh full of light. “And Lena?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I love you too,” and with that, Kara kissed her, even as Lena’s breath caught and she smiled, holding her face in in her hands, running her thumbs across her cheekbones and pouring all the love she could into the kiss. She moved up, shifting until she was sitting with one knee either side of Lena’s waist. “All those things you said you want?” she said, kissing Lena on the tip of her nose. “All the paintings you want on the walls?” she murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of Lena’s ear and hearing her breathe shakily. “The home, the dogs, Thanksgiving. I want them all with you. I want _you_ , Lena, and as much as _you_ love _me_ ,” Kara pulled Lena up to kiss her lips once more, feeling them part beneath hers, and Lena’s tongue swipe across her bottom lip. “I love you just as much. You make life magical, and I want us to spend the rest of our lives making each other laugh.”

Kara felt Lena shake beneath her, and she broke the kiss to look down at her. Lena was laughing already, her eyes crinkling at the corners and her dimples on full display. “Just don’t spill any more coffee on my dresses, okay?”

Kara nodded, grinning as she pulled Lena down into the bed with her once more. They wrapped their arms around each other, content just to be close to the other, and as the day wore on, they wanted for nothing more than what they had; the person they loved in their arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand... there's a lot I could say here! This chapter has mostly wrapped up the story, but there is ONE MORE CHAPTER chapter coming on Thursday, and I hope you'll stick around for it :)
> 
> As always, thanks so much for being here, reading this, and coming on this ride with me! I appreciate you all so much! <3
> 
> Come find me on tumblr: Melui-the-Ravenclaw :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena go on a holiday :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are, the final chapter! *cries*

Lena woke with a start. At first, she wasn’t sure why she was awake, but then, she felt it. Something was on her face. Frantically, she pawed at the air, trying to push the… whatever it was, away. It was light and felt like… gossamer? And everywhere she pushed at it, there just seemed to be more. Her sleepy brain finally put it together. The mosquito net that she had been sleeping under had detached from its place and settled on her face instead. Scrambling up as quietly as she could, she pinned it back to the top of the headboard, and settled back down, but unfortunately for her companion, her elbow landed on her hair, pulling it hard.

“Oooowwwwww Lena,” Kara whined, waving a tired hand in the air towards Lena’s face. “You’re on my hair!”

“Sorry!” Lena stage-whispered, before lying back down and pulling the covers back up. As she lay there though, she got a fit of the giggles, and no matter how she tried to stop herself, she could feel the bed silently shaking beneath her as she tried to stifle her laughter.

Kara groaned and rolled over. “Leeeenaaa…”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m trying to stop,” Lena said, her pitch climbing higher as she failed to stop laughing.

Kara shoved her gently in the back and grumbled, “go read a book or something if you’re going to keep laughing!”

Lena climbed out of bed, her hand over her mouth, and picked up her book and her cell phone from the nightstand before padding out of the small bedroom and into the spare room at the end of the hall. It wasn’t long before dawn, and she sat down on the sofa and switched the light on.

It was December and they were in New Zealand. Neither Kara nor Lena had ever been, and over dinner on the one-year anniversary of the day Kara spilled coffee on her, they’d decided on a whim one day to book flights down to the country to spend Christmas, their second together, somewhere warm, just for the novelty of it. Kara hadn’t banked on it being quite as warm as it was, and was spending most of the days melting, all of her cardigans forgotten. Lena acclimatized quicker to the heat, somehow, although she did tend to stay out of the sun as much as she could anyway.

Lena let Kara choose the places they were going to stay, handing over her credit card in order to make the bookings, and perhaps that was why they were now staying in the middle of nowhere, in a rustic loft in a converted barn on a working farm, with a composting toilet Lena had been almost too terrified to use and chickens clucking and scratching around the ground floor. There were more spiders in the shower room, which was almost entirely open to the elements on one whole side, than she had ever seen in her life, and she had to wedge the door shut in order to keep the chickens from joining her in the shower. On the other hand, they did have freshly laid eggs in the mornings, which Lena had cooked, crouched over the tiny stove which was, for some inexplicable reason, in the bedroom.

It was an extremely peaceful place, she had to admit. There was a river nearby and the sound of it had lulled them to sleep the night before. Although, she had been rather shocked when she opened the window the first day in this particular room and come face to face with a cow, which had come over to inspect the noise coming from the building.

Kara had declared that they were “going on an adventure!” and enthusiastically waved a map around when it came to their three weeks driving around the North Island of New Zealand. Lena had kissed her for getting the geeky reference in there, and they’d booked several sights. The first place they’d stayed was in Auckland, and they’d spent several happy days wandering around the city, Lena taking in the museums. She was very happy to not be recognized very often, and the staff in restaurants mostly left them alone. They took boat tours, enjoyed the fresh sushi available practically everywhere, and took walks around the city parks.

After that, they’d driven down to Raglan, taking the long way. Kara, it turned out, was something of a speed demon when it came to driving, and the slow speed limits New Zealand set on their highways caused many a curse and much laughter on Lena’s part. The dearth of any services along the roads (“Lena, there’s been no coffee for _miles!_ ”) meant that once they found a convenience store, they stocked their rental car with every snack and variety of drink they thought they (and by they, Lena thought wryly, _they_ meant Kara) could ever need. They ate fresh fish and chips near a beach in Raglan, Lena pulling out her camera and taking photos of the seemingly endless numbers of seagulls that watched them as they ate, hoping for scraps. At one point, Kara had thrown a fry at a group of them and it resulted in a maelstrom of wings flapping around Kara. The photo that Lena took of that moment was certainly going to be framed and put up on their living room wall at home.

Thankfully having left the composting toilet behind, they’d driven across to Lake Taupo, which was in the caldera of Mount Taupo, an active volcano. They rented a private lakeside cabin, called a bach, and spent a few days enjoying the BBQ on the deck, hunting for the best natural pumice stones on the lakeside, the natural hot springs, and each other. Lena was letting her hair dry naturally almost all the time during the trip, and although she missed her straighteners, she had to admit that she was glad not to have to put hot irons next to her face in all this heat. The bonus was that Kara really seemed to enjoy her wavy hair, and she often caught Kara looking at her with darkened eyes, or touching her hair far more often than she normally did. Lena loved the way that Kara looked at her.

On their third day of staying at Lake Taupo, Kara had driven them out to Waitomo and surprised her with a trip through the glow worm caves. Unbeknownst to Lena, Kara booked not just their ride and all the seats on it, but also the entirety of the ride behind them, so that they could have a double-length trip through the caves. Lena wished that she could’ve taken photos, but as a scientist herself, understood the need to preserve their environment as much as possible, and instead spent the whole ride gazing at the ceiling at all the millions of little lights, clutching tightly to Kara’s hand. It was one of the most magical afternoons of her life. Kara had looked almost bashful once they’d got out of the boat the other end, but Lena had thrown herself into Kara’s arms and kissed her deeply, hoping that and the tears in her eyes conveyed her thanks the way she wanted to. Kara’s cheeks had turned red and her eyes darkened, and Lena knew that she’d be thanking her even more thoroughly later that evening. And she did.

Two days after that, they’d driven to the Hobbiton movie set, and Lena could barely contain her excitement on the little bus through the countryside to the set. She’d never felt more like a child than she did at that moment, almost bouncing in her seat while Kara wore a pleased smile. She took photos of _everything_ , from seemingly every angle. She made Kara pose in front of essentially every hobbit hole, and eagerly climbed into the only one they were allowed to enter so that she could get a photo of her looking out, as if she lived there. The selfie they took of them both at Bag End was going up on their wall at home as well. They enjoyed their cider in the Green Dragon, sipping it near the fire despite the temperature, and on the bus back to the car park, Kara slyly unzipped their backpack to show her the cups they’d drunk from. Lena was at first about to tell the driver to turn around, but then Kara revealed that she’d actually paid the bartender for them in the end, so that they could keep this little souvenir of their trip to Middle Earth.

They’d visited many more places on their way back up the island, and later that week as they were staying back up in Auckland, Kara was sleeping and Lena was thinking about what the next day would bring. As she lay there on the sofa in the hotel room, the dim light of the lamp holding away the darkness and a book held on her lap, she let her mind wander back.

 

* * * * *

 

“Lena! I can’t find my other shoe!” Kara called from the bedroom. Lena rolled her eyes through the mirror at her assistant and they shared a smile as Kara blew back out of the bedroom, holding a high heel in one hand and a sneaker in the other. “Why is there a sneaker where my other shoe should be?!” she exclaimed, clearly resisting the urge to run her hand through her carefully coiffed hair.

“I’m not sure, darling,” Lena replied. “They’re both your shoes. Have you checked the bathroom?”

“ _Why_ would it be in the bathroom?” Kara huffed, before stomping down the hall to check anyway. She came back thirty seconds later with a sheepish look on her face, holding up both heels, clearing her throat. “Found them,” she said.

Lena laughed to herself. Tonight was the premiere of _Space Pirates_ , and Kara was going along as her date. It had been several months since they finished filming, and it was early January. The producers had decided to release it alongside all the Oscar-worthy films, for a bit of comedic relief. Nobody had been able to think of a better title than that, and Lena was sentimentally attached to it anyway, what with it being called that when she had stayed with Kara during that week last summer. She was excited for Kara to finally see it, but Kara was currently stressing so much about walking the red carpet for her to give even a passing thought to anything else.

The assistant had wisely decided to dress Kara first, and she was wearing a floor-length gown with beads crisscrossing the bodice. It was a pale gold color, and it was accented with rose gold strands woven throughout, which somehow made the deep blue of Kara’s eyes stand out even more. Lena sighed as she looked at her. Kara was so beautiful; she didn’t even _know_ how beautiful she was. She had the kind of face that people smiled at, and everyone always wanted to talk to her. Lena was quite happy to slide into the background as much as she was able while at social gatherings and letting Kara hold the floor with her smiles and laughter. But today, she was flipping out.

The assistant put the finishing touches in her hair and Lena got up off her chair and walked over to Kara, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Kara! You need to get up, you’ll get loads of wrinkles in your dress before we’ve even got in the limo,” Lena exclaimed, before crouching down to strap Kara’s shoes up herself. Lena wasn’t yet in her dress, still just wearing a zip-up hoody and jogging bottoms. Once that was done, Lena stood up and Kara steadied herself, holding onto Lena’s shoulders.

“I had no idea getting ready like this took so long,” Kara mumbled to herself.

Lena ran her hands down Kara’s forearms and kissed her cheek. “Are you alright, darling?”

Kara blew out a breath. “I’m okay, I think. I’m just worried about falling flat on my face in front of all the photographers.”

“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Lena said slyly.

“Sure?”

“Everyone worries about that! Remember that time Jennifer Lawrence fell over at the Oscars?”

“You’re not helping Lena!”

“You just have to laugh it off, if it does happen, which it _won’t_ ,” Lena said firmly.

“Do you promise?” Kara asked her, and Lena laughed. As if she had any control over it whether or not Kara fell over when she herself would be trying her best not to trip.

“I’ll cast a levitating spell before we get out of the limo,” she said with a wink, and Kara whacked her gently across the top of her arm.

“Some help you are,” she grumbled, but she was wearing a big smile.

Lena hesitated for a second before walking over to the nightstand in her bedroom, taking something out, and walking back over to Kara, who was watching her curiously. Lena stopped in front of her, much shorter than Kara now that she was barefoot and Kara had her heels on. She looked up at Kara. “I was going to talk to you about this later tonight,” she said, bringing one of Kara’s hands up and placing her own closed fist over it. “But I think you need something to maybe, I hope, be excited about, instead of just being nervous about tonight.”

“What’s up, Lena?” Kara replied.

Lena swallowed her own nerves. She hadn’t really had time to feel jittery about this step yet herself, but jumping in with both feet seemed to be something she did these days. She opened her fist and dropped a shiny key into Kara’s palm.

“I… I’ve been thinking about this and you spend so much time here already, and your clothes are filling up my closet, and your stuff is filling up my bathroom, and your painting supplies take up most of the living room and the office, so I… so I- I wondered whether you might like to make it official and… and move in with me,” Lena stuttered out, feeling her voice waver. “And I know we’d have to get you set up with the biometrics before the keyhole even _appears_ but I thought this would be-”

Kara cut off her babbling with a gentle kiss, barely moving so that she didn’t smudge her professionally applied lipstick, and Lena sighed happily.

“I’d love to move in with you, Lena! You’re such a sweetheart. Were you really shy about asking me to officially move in with you? Because… you really do look shy right now,” Kara said, moving to hug Lena softly, enveloping Lena with the subtle scent of her perfume and washing away all of Lena’s nerves all at once.

“I was, but… I have no idea why now,” Lena said, laughing against Kara’s collarbone, bringing a hand up to rest her hand against Kara’s heartbeat.

“I feel as if I’m home when I’m here, Lena,” Kara said softly. “I can’t wait.”

An hour later, they were in the limo, heading towards the premiere. Kara had almost stopped being nervous. Almost. She didn’t say much in the car, but she did squeeze Lena’s hand. As they pulled up outside, the cameras started flashing. Lena was wearing a deep green satin down, and her hair was half clipped up in an elaborate twist, and the rest swept across her shoulders. She looked as good as she could possibly look, and she looked over at Kara as her driver got out and started his walk around the car to open her door.

“Ready, darling?”

“Mmhmm,” Kara squeaked.

“I love you.”

Kara smiled at her. “I love you too,” she replied, and then the door opened and Lena stepped out.

The cameras flashed all around them as Lena posed slightly by the car for a second, before she turned around and held her hand out to Kara, who slid out after her. Lena rested her hand at the base of Kara’s spine and kissed her on the cheek. They made their way slowly down the red carpet, and Lena could feel the tension in Kara’s back fade slowly as she made it closer and closer to the door without falling over something. By the time they were halfway down, she was waving shyly to the cameras and the press. Lena stopped to speak to some of the press and they asked Kara questions as well, some mistaking her for another actress in the movie, and Kara’s blush was captured on camera forever more. By the time they got to the door, neither of them had fallen over, and Lena reached up to hold Kara’s face between her hands, pressing a gentle kiss to Kara’s lips. Lena felt Kara’s hands settle on her waist, and the cameras caught their smiles even as they kissed.

That photo ended up being the first one they put up on the wall of their new home when they moved into it, only a few months after Kara moved into Lena’s flat, both of them wearing dusty, paint-covered clothes and their hair tied up messily, their smiles wide. And they’d laughed and laughed as they recalled that Lena had been the one to trip up a step not long after they got inside, Kara catching her before she fell. Kara would always catch her, Lena knew, in every way. And she couldn’t be happier about it.

 

* * * * *

 

The next thing Lena knew, Kara was shaking her awake the next morning and holding out a hot chocolate covered with a mound of marshmallows. “Did you sleep here all night?” she asked.

Lena roused herself and took the hot chocolate from Kara. “I… guess I did,” she murmured, before taking a sip. It was delicious.

“That’s no good for your back, you know,” Kara said, tutting at her good-naturedly. “So what’s the plan today?”

Lena set the hot chocolate down on the table in front of her, hoping that her shaking hands weren’t obvious at all. “I thought we’d go for a walk this afternoon on a beach that has black sand,” she said.

“Black sand?!” Kara squeaked, looking as if all her Christmases had come at once.

“Yeah,” Lena said, “there are black sand beaches here. I thought we could go to one and we could build a seriously gothic sandcastle.”

Kara leaned down and kissed Lena firmly on the mouth before skipping into the bathroom to get ready to go, Lena advising she wore dark clothes that she wouldn’t mind getting ruined.

While Kara was in the bathroom, Lena dug into the inside pocket of her suitcase and pulled something out of it, shoving it deep in the pocket of the backpack she was going to be bringing with her. They spent the morning relaxing in Auckland, browsing bookshops for books to read on the flight home late the next day, and buying food, snacks, and wine for their dinner on the beach later.

Kara spent the whole drive to the beach musing out loud about what the black sand would be like and whether it was _really_ as black as it looked in photos. Lena drove, and they both sang along to the radio as they drove closer to Karioitahi beach.

The excited shout that Kara let out when they got onto the beach was worth the drive here, Lena thought, smiling as Kara pulled her flip flops off and dug her toes into the sand, turning around and giving Lena the most delighted smile she’d seen this trip. Lena hauled all their buckets and little spades with them as they walked along the beach, finding it almost empty of other people, and found a good spot to build their castle. Kara dropped their packed dinner on a blanket that she spread out and immediately set about digging sand into one of the buckets.

Lena joined in, throwing herself down in the sand and filling buckets right alongside Kara. They laughed like children as they slowly built a multi-tiered black sandcastle, complete with little sticks to make a drawbridge and defenses. Kara went hunting and found little scraps of fabric in the dunes, and she sat for a while pulling sticks apart enough to put the fabric between the parts, making little flags that she then stuck on the turrets, her face set in concentration. Lena made little people out of small piles of stones, and drew faces on them with an old sharpie she’d found in the backpack.

When they were finished building, they carefully dug a moat around the castle and Lena wiped her hands on her shirt before taking photos of the castle and them with the castle. It was a monstrosity, bristling with stick defenses and the black sand made it look really imposing.

They washed their hands in the sea, ate their food, and pulled out a couple of the books they’d bought earlier. Lena had bought several, her nerves getting the better of her and wanting something to do with her hands, even if that was carrying a small stack of books around a shop while Kara debated buying a new copy of the last Harry Potter for the plane trip, even though she already had two copies at home. She also drew out a little velvet box and stuffed it quickly into her pocket before Kara could see.

As the time drew closer, Lena could feel the butterflies swirling around her stomach and she found she was clearing her throat a few too many times. As the sun started to set, turning the sky wonderful colors, Kara wandered off to take a photo of the sky. When she came back, asked Lena something she didn’t properly hear and she was so startled that she dropped her plastic cup of wine in the sand.

“Lena? Are you alright?” Kara said, looking concerned. “You’ve been a little weird all day.”

“Have I?” Lena asked, heaving herself inelegantly to her feet and brushing the sand off her hands as best she could onto her shirt, which was now covered in black streaks. Oh well. It would have to do.

“Yeah,” Kara frowned. “You told me in the bookstore earlier that you’d never read _the Lord of the Rings_ even though I know for a fact you’ve read it five times. Even the appendices.”

“Oh, um, maybe I just forgot,” Lena mumbled, before turning to look at the sunset. “Kara, look. It’s so beautiful.”

Kara gave her one last look before she, too, turned to gaze at it. Lena slipped her hand into Kara’s, and was glad that that it was, mercifully, not shaking. She took heart from that. “It’s not as beautiful as you though.”

Kara squeezed Lena’s hand, but didn’t take her eyes off the sunset. “Nothing I’ve ever seen is as lovely as you, Lena.”

“Kara, darling,” Lena said, the tremor in her voice clear, and Kara’s head snapped around to look at her.

“What is it? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay, well,” and Lena laughed nervously, before blowing out a big breath. “I’m fine, Kara, really. Better than fine. I just wanted to say that this whole trip has been amazing, and it’s been so great to be able to share this experience with you. And… I want to share everything with you.” Lena shoved her hand in her pocket and closed her fingers around the velvet box. “My whole life I’ve never had anyone to really share things with. My family is a disaster that will go down in history, and my career means that most people around me don’t feel… real, in so many ways. I’ve never felt like there was someone around me who cared about _me_ , and what you did at the Waitomo caves was _so_ wonderful, and…”

Lena pulled the box out of her pocket and fiddled with it for a second. She saw Kara’s eyes glance down to it, and then widen as she looked back up, blue eyes locking with green. “Lena?”

Lena let out a slight laugh, before she looked at Kara and around at the sunset. It was beautiful, but the woman standing in front of her outshone everyone and everything this world had to offer, at least for Lena. So she knelt down on one knee, and Kara’s breath caught audibly.

“And I’ve never felt like this. And… I’ve never been in love before. I’ve never felt this overwhelming need to make sure that someone that I love is taken care of and looked after. I’ve never woken up before wondering how I can spend the day making someone laugh, or memorized someone else’s Chinese takeout order. I’ve never stayed up late talking to someone about a painting they’re doing that I’ve never even seen. I live for waking up in the morning next to you, and I’m sorry I seem to take up so much space in the bed despite being shorter than you. I’ve never been happier than I am when I’m around you,” Lena smiled, tears escaping her eyes and rolling down her face. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. You have the most wonderful soul, and… you’re my sunshine. I… I stand in my own light, as we all do, but I want to be warmed by your sunshine forever. Will you make me the happiest woman in the world, Kara Danvers, by being mine forever? I’m already yours. Will you marry me?”

Tears were streaming down her face, and Lena opened the box to reveal a platinum ring with a small, oval, light green emerald, with smaller diamonds on either side. It was a simple ring, but Lena had had it specially made in Ireland when they’d flown over for a week’s getaway earlier in the year. Kara wasn’t ostentatious, and Lena didn’t think she’d want an over the top ring. The ring and the stones were beautiful, but nothing could eclipse the woman she wanted to wear it.

Lena looked up at Kara, who was wiping away tears on her own face even as she was smiling like Lena had never seen her smile before, and her heart tipped over in her chest as Kara pulled her to her feet, her legs feeling like jelly underneath her. Kara pressed herself against Lena, digging her hands into her hair, and kissed her.

“Lena Luthor, you charming, gorgeous soul! Of _course_ I’ll marry you, of course I will!” she whispered against Lena’s lips, her breath catching on the words as she fought back her emotion. Lena could feel Kara’s hands shaking as she pulled them from her hair and settled on her shoulders.

An uncontrollable smile spread across Lena’s face, and she pulled the ring gently from the box. Kara brought her left hand down, and Lena slipped the ring onto Kara’s ring finger, before staring at it for a moment or two. She had hoped so much that Kara would say yes, and now that the ring was on her finger… she threw herself into Kara’s arms, and Kara swung her around and kissed her once again, almost dipping her, before they both started to laugh as they clung to each other.

And as the sun set on the beach in New Zealand, they sat on the blanket enjoying the last colors of the sunset. Lena was leaning back against Kara’s chest with her arms wrapped around her waist, enjoying the feeling of knowing Kara was always going to be there. Kara had banished her loneliness, brought her back to herself, and healed a heart she’d never known was empty until Kara had shown her just how full it could be. And now they were engaged. Lena felt her smile stretching even further. She couldn’t wait to see what the future brought them, where it would take them. Time spent with Kara felt like an adventure.

“I want to get you a ring too,” Kara murmured into Lena’s ear.

“I’d love that,” Lena breathed, entwining her fingers with Kara’s, the unfamiliar feeling of the ring against her finger making her smile. “I’d love to show the whole world that we chose each other.”

“Lena?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Can we have potstickers at the wedding?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Spoiler alert: Kara and Lena lived happily ever after :D
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read this story and for all the kind, wonderful, and complimentary comments I've had along the way. They've all made me really happy and as I new writer, I was quite nervous, but you've all been so lovely to me, and I appreciate you all so much!
> 
> Please come and say hi to me if you feel inclined to! My [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/melui-the-ravenclaw) and a new [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Melui_Ravenclaw) I made if you'd like to visit :)


End file.
